I am so sad. After reading some answers to the other questions where men complain about not getting sex enough from their wives, I realize what my problem is. It's not that I hate sex, I just don't feel an emotional connection to my husband anymore. I love my husband, he is a very good man. He works hard and takes good care of me. But for whatever reasons, I do not feel emotionally connected to him and it causes me to avoid sex. Why do men withdraw themselves from their wives? What the heck am I supposed to do to get things right again?
No hateful responses please.
2006-09-14 09:45:04 · 10 answers · asked by HazelEyes 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ok...here's what no one seems to get.
Intimacy to a man and a woman are two different things. Intimacy to a man is sex. That is how they feel emotionally conncected and close to their wife. Intimacy to a woman is knowing her husbands thoughts, dreams, likes/dislikes, etc. Only when she gets time spent together outside of the bedroom does she then become interested IN the bedroom!
It's probably not that he doesn't care, he just doesn't get it. Schedule yourselves a date night once a week. If you have children and can't always get a sitter, make sure the kids have a set bedtime and you have something planned. My husband and I use Friday nights. We try to at least get out and go to dinner once a month, then usually have another couple over once a month to play board games, cards, etc. The other two nights we will get pizza or carry out, a movie, etc. It took us lots of fighting, talking with other couples and a very miserable few years of marriage to figure this out...but let me tell you it is worth the effort!!! I am more satisfied with our relationship, and we have (good!) sex more often.
Share what you are wanting with your husband!! Just like you probably did when you were dating :)
Good luck hon~
2006-09-14 09:52:45 · answer #1 · answered by nic_tammyscott 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that you already made your decision? You said you think it would be better for you to be single and then find Mr. right. Okay, so -- no offense -- what is your question exactly? Why are you going to marriage counseling if you don't think that your husband is Mr. right? How long have you two been married? Is that your first marriage? How about him? Do you have children? Has he always been like this? Also, there is a difference between keeping busy and becoming a workaholic. I think that both of you are normal but I think you have a comunication problem. I think that you both if you want your marriage to last, should understand and support each other's needs and each other's way of showing effection and giving it. On the other hand, if you feel that this is too much of an effort then by all means, don't waste your life and go look for mr. right. :)
2016-03-17 21:22:25 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try telling him how you feel. May be he doesn't know that the emotional bond is missing. Sometimes men can over look things like this. I suggest you ask him to go back to dating. Remember the way it was before you got married. Try going out on more dates. They don't have to be places you spend money. Go to a remote place together and just talk about each other. Maybe this will put you back in the mood.
2006-09-14 10:25:44 · answer #3 · answered by smiley 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I read a really good article just yesterday in Yahoo Health. It said that people receive love best in 5 different ways. Most men receive it physically...but we all knew that already. :) Could it be that you are withdrawing because he doesn't do things for you such as verbally express his feelings, do special things for you or romance you like he used to? If thats the case, perhaps you should tell him how you are feeling. When I was married my exhusband and I were just reacting to each other. He would treat me poorly because because I wasn't initmate with him...and I wasnt intimate with him because he treated me poorly. Maybe he will try to do the things you like to make you feel special so that you do feel more connected to him.
2006-09-14 09:52:23 · answer #4 · answered by Kitten 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he has some issues and feels that you already have enough to deal with. Why don't you try connecting with him, have a heart to heart. Be honest with him and let him know that you feel this way.
2006-09-14 09:54:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe if you have sex with him you two can connect on an emotional level as well. Also let him know what you need from him. Lay it out so he will know.
2006-09-14 09:50:39 · answer #6 · answered by Jewells 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start giving him some special attention. Back/foot rubs, making his favorite meals or treat him out on the town. Show him how much he means to you.
2006-09-14 09:48:11 · answer #7 · answered by CJBig 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men equate sex as love when it comes from their spouse, there isn't a bigger hurt to a man than his woman not wanting him anymore. I know I am living it, thanks to medicine for paxil.
Now my desires are quelled, I can enjoy many other things .
2006-09-14 11:14:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
try having cybersex with a stranger online... get turned on and then pounch on your husband...
try porn, it is gets you going, ask your husband to lend a hand...
if you wanna talk, gimme a shout... :D
2006-09-14 09:48:22 · answer #9 · answered by Forlorn Hope 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
ME AND MY WIFE ARE GOING THRU THE SAME THING AND I SUGGESTED WE SHOULD GET BACK TO HAVING FUN AND GET BACK TO THE LOVE IN THE BEGINNING
2006-09-14 10:02:30 · answer #10 · answered by OFFICER CAMPBELL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋