Do you think I'll get sole custody?

Question

I filed for divorce and the court date is on September 25. and I put on the papers that I want sole custody and he will have open visitation rights since he's never been there for his daughter. I'm doing the divorce by myself without a lawyer(Pro-Se) and a sheriff already took him the summons of divorce and I went through all the steps. He already told his dad he's not going to appear in court that day and he lives in Puerto Rico and I live in New Jersey. We were married on June 2002 and he left on August 2002 with another woman and if I don't call for him to speak with our daughter, he doesn't. So what do you think? I'm really nervous

I would really like him being part of her life. I was raised by my dad but my mom was always around so it was all good. That's why I let him have open visitation rights too.

Oh I went to the child support office like a few months after he left he owes over $2,000 and I haven't seen a cent since May of 2005

Answer 1

First of all, I feel deeply for you and your child. Do not worry. You have nothing to fear and no reason to be afraid. You have already faced difficulties and shown that you have what it takes to overcome.
I think you will get sole custody. The courts are designed to do what is in the best interests of the child and they are actually good at it.
At the same time, I don't think that that is why you wrote. I want you to know that you are not alone, you are not crazy and you are not "wrong." Drop your guilt. He left. He cheated. He chooses not to be an active part of his child's life. His loss.
Protect you and your child. Continue to be honest and upright. Stay close to God and be at peace. Things will work out better than you could plan them.
Peace and may the Hand of God be upon you.

Answer 2

This is a time when you will be nervous and even feel depressed, but you seem to have your act together and are taking the necessary steps. From what you have said, it seems like you should get custody. Mothers usually get it - even in contested divorces. If your husband has been served, it is up to him or his attorney to respond. If he doesn't show, that is to your advantage and he could lose everything by default. Because he is gone, that is no reason to not ask and get child support. He is the biological father and has responsibilities. Even though he may not want to pay, there are government agencies out there to assist you and garnish his wages. Like I said, you seem to have your act together. Stay strong and good luck.

Answer 3

Given that your daughter is so young and he doesn't seem to show a lot of interest I think you will get custody (I certainly hope you do). If he doesn't appear to contest it you shouldn't have any problems.
As regards you having to make the effort to keep in touch for your daughters sake, I wouldn't bother. If he's interested he'd do it, if not your just setting up a scenario that will eventually bring hurt to your daughter.
Although male I do know what you're going through. I fought two custody battles, after two failed marriages and, unusually, I got custody both times.
Be strong for your daughter because if you don't handle it right it is she who will be the biggest casualty.
I do wish you luck and hopefully you will be celebrating on the night of September 25th.

Answer 4

First - Anyone who represents themselves in court has a fool for a client.
Even if you cannot afford a lawyer there are nonprofits that can help.
Two - Ask for full custody. Say things do not work out in P.R. and Mr. Personality comes back to now be the dad. You need to make sure you have control. You can not believe how ineffective the courts are towards the person with custody.
Third - Stick to your guns. It's your child, you are the mom.

Answer 5

No doubt you will get physical custody. He will be allowed visitation. Make sure you get an order for child support.

He sounds like a real loser. I would minimize your daughter's contact with him. By encouraging his involvement you may open yourself up for a future custody battle. So far, he has only had contact when you initiate it; don't do it anymore. The judge will look badly upon him if he doesn't make contact with his own child.

Good luck, you sound like a nice person. Move on and forget this loser. He is not worth your time or energy.

Answer 6

in keeping with what your saying, you may definately get sole custody. be sure you document (save a log) of each time he calls your daughter, sees your daughter, or provide you newborn help. The extra documentation you have once you visit courtroom will make you look extra perpared and intense relating to the area. i don't be responsive to the way NJ handles issues yet in IL if he became served the summons and fails to look you may ask the prefer to proceed with out him.....making certain you sole custody.

Answer 7

I don't know if you will. In California they give joint custody to lots of people... Be prepared for anything... and if you can... speak to a lawyer at least. Also, that is her father... no matter where he is at, no matter how much he hurt you (and himself)... that is her father nonetheless... please don't make her feel bad by speaking ill of him all the time.

I am a child of divorce and this kind of thing drives kids crazy.

Answer 8

Unless he has contested in some way you will probably get your way. If he was goign to contest I think you would have been notified by now. Besides that, if he doesn't even bother to show he is showing the court how important his kids are to him..

Answer 9

good luck girl, sounds like you know what you're doing, and it sounds like you have everything on your side. best of luck! try not to worry...