i have been in love with the same man for 25 years but we were just friends i haven't seen him in 13 years and i have since married. i shouldn't have never married because i don't love my husband and he is aware of this but he needs a wife and my daughter needed a father figure so i did it. now i have found my love again and i want to be with him and he wants to be with me. i just don't know what to do.
2006-09-14 08:33:49 · 22 answers · asked by iwearpink4life 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You married a man to be a father to your child. You do not have any right in this world to remove that child from her father. You need to be an adult and understand you cast your life around your husband. To give us this I don't really love my husband crap proves how totally shallow you are. Grow the hell up. Whose child is the girl? If you move out now it will be even more pain spread around for no good reason.
This is how the follow your heart crowd would have you do this.
Divorce your husband for no good reason. Rip your daughter away from the father she knows for no good reason. Inflict that pain on both of them for some concept of a love from 13 years ago. Move in with some guy who is many years older than you remember. He will figure out very quickly what a total lowlife you are for doing this to a guy who has done nothing except support you and the child. He will learn to find you with total disdain. Eventually he will leave you to the totally lonely and desolate life you deserve.
2006-09-14 08:51:34 · answer #1 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest and tell your husband you want out of the marriage. I don't understand why you marriaged him just because your daughter needed a father figure. Sounds like you put your daughter and your husband through hurt that they don't deserve... Before you do any more hurtful things your really need to take a hard look at your actions and try not to repeat the mistakes you have taken in the past.
2006-09-14 15:39:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You haven't seen him in 13 years, and time changes people. If you really think you want to give this a shot, stop and think first. How will this affect your daughter? You, your lifestyle? Why didn't the two of you get together before if you were so in love? Whatever you do, don't cheat on your husband. And remember, the feelings you have for this guy are feelings from a long time ago. Please take things slowly what ever you choose to do, and get to know this guy for who he is now.
2006-09-14 15:40:36 · answer #3 · answered by kandekizzez 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have a family now all your doing is feeling sorry for yourself because your life didn't work out perfectly becasue you made these decisions pathetic that your infatuated with somone after so long you can't have it all without trashing others lives think of somone else for once your just so caught up in your little world you don't think enough about anything except the current state of things what if you fall out of love with that person as well I have a definition for your statement as well "i have found my love again and i want to be with him"=I have found a way to ruin another home leave my current life behind and destroy my family for my selfish desires but maybe this isn't getting through to you say you go with him and he leaves you for another woman maybe you have a new daughter now ? that's what your attempting to do don't kid yourself with your pathetic lies you tell yourself to make it all seem like it's a good idea and think in more then in the present for once and about the future
2006-09-14 15:42:08 · answer #4 · answered by BlueCherubi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Life is short. Unfortuantly, you have only 2 decisions. Be with the man you married because you've already committed and made that decision. Or, you follow your heart and go be with your true love. Just make sure he wants to be with you before you give up what you've already got which is mainly stability for yout daughter.
2006-09-14 15:37:43 · answer #5 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That really sucks. Your daughter may need a father figure, but she doesn't need a bad marriage to be her relationship role model. You shouldn't remain in a loveless marriage, but you shouldn't rush into anything with the other guy, wither. That's just my opinion, though. Hope it helps.
2006-09-14 15:36:59 · answer #6 · answered by mluikart 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best thing to do is to get a dissolution - it is a whole lot cheaper than a divorce, but can only be done if both parties agree on everything. You can't stay married - it just wouldn't be fair on your husband, your old love, your daughter, and especially you.
2006-09-14 15:37:59 · answer #7 · answered by hiedistump 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You said vows for better or worse, until death do you part. Stick it out. Divorce is a sin. You so sound selfish. That's the problem today. People only think about themselves. Think about someone else for a change. Start with your daughter.
2006-09-14 15:38:17 · answer #8 · answered by sheeny 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Follow your heart, but don't make any rash decisions (again). You have a daughter to think about. I think that you should leave your husband anyhow, but don't get tangled up in something that may leave you hurt. You are not being fair to you or your husband by staying with him. THat is just flirting with disaster.
2006-09-14 15:48:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Regardless of how you feel about this other man you have an obligation to your marriage. You and your husband took vows to one another. If you didn't love him you shouldn't have made those vows. I think it would be very selfish to ruin your family's lives so you can be happy. How about being happy with contentment?
2006-09-14 15:38:51 · answer #10 · answered by Jewells 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋