Pregnant??????????He is married???????????

Question

I am pregnant 3 1/2 months and naturally went to call my bf well i did and guess who answered the cell phone i was shocked to relaize the woman i was speaking to was his wife I HAD NO IDEA HE WAS MARRIED!!!!I feel heart broken i really love this man i am 19 years old and he is 24 . She told me they have been married for 7 years and to verify this she sent me a copy of the marriage certificate and told me never to call again. What do i do i love him?!!

I am not sur i want to keep my baby anymore?he is coming buy my place tonight do i tell him?

Answer 1

I think that you should INFORM his wife that you are carrying her husband's child and explain to her that this is NOT your fault because you didn't know that he was married and the person that she should be upset with is HIM - NOT YOU.

Please think long and hard on whether or not to terminate your pregnancy. I found myself in the same situation as you are now in (20 years ago). I chose to terminate my pregnancy and have REGRETTED it every day since. Each year, on what would have been my delivery date, I'm depressed and cry and count how old my baby would have been. I constantly think of whether my child would have been a boy or a girl, etc.

Please go to a Center (Planned Parenthood or something like it) and discuss your options with them. You should be well informed of what the consequences are for each option (having the child and keeping him or her, giving the child up for adoption, or terminating your pregnancy).


Bright Blessings & Prayers for you and your child. Good Luck!

Answer 2

First off were you gonna keep the baby just because of him or because it was a LIFE that you create that is a part of you. Really consider adoption over abortion, if that is waht you meant. There are women out there who pray to have a baby!!
Although you may love him. He is married and you have to consider that... What kind of man was he in the first place to keep that from you or even to be sleeping/seeing you.(No offense to you intended,if you didn't know) Give i some time and thing about it before you do anything drastic. I would send the wife a copy of the pregnany test from the dr.s office be sure to black out the Dr.'s name so as not to cause you problems later. Then I would have MY child. You need to think , if you want child support which you can get then put his name on the birth cert. If you don't and want no ties to him as bad as this may sound put father unknown on the cert. It doesn't seem like it now , but there are REAL men out there that are still Good men, that have morals and family values That think of others more than that!!
Be Strong!! And know that God is always there!
Good luck!

Answer 3

Honey, I'm so sorry for you but men are just idiots you know? I'm going to be real (not rude) and tell you somethings, the final decision is up to you of course:

1. He is a jerk now and he will always be, no man like that deserves your love, it'll be hard but you'll have to get over him.

2. He's never going to leave his wife for you and your baby, he could say that, but he will never keep his promise. And why would you want that anyway, he'll do to you the same he did to her 7 year wife.

3. He's responsible for giving you child support, if you choose to keep the baby. You could also stop the pg and move on with your life, but that's a very personal choice. One thing is sure though, moms are the ones that have to be there for the baby, the dad can (jerks) leave you anytime he wants.

4. Talk to him tonight and TELL him you are pg, and let's see how his macho face turns to fear in a second, prove how much of a man he is, see what he says, tell him how you feel, and then take a decision.

I'm really sorry that you are going through this, sure babies are Gods gifts, but it's so unffair that you'll have to do it on your own because of such an A**

Answer 4

The next time you see him, you kick him in the nuts and then as he's writing on the floor tell him about his sweet little wife and show him the marriage certificate!
Don't even entertain fantasies of him dumping that poor woman he screwed around on and marrying you.
Chances are, he'll either A) NOT dump her OR marry you, or B) he MIGHT dump her - and get with you, but in a year (or 2 or 5 or whatever) he'll likely be screwing around on YOU. Do you REALLY want that? NO! Stop seeing him romantically IMMEDIATELY!
Beyond that point, you two have a lot of legal things to work on: adoption options, child support, etc. Abortion shouldn't even enter into the conversation.

Forget worrying about that turd....his fate is set, and it shouldn't include ANYTHING to do with you.
You need to figure out what you're going to do. At 3.5 months, abortion is ABSOLUTELY out of the question.
So the question comes down to two options: Do you want to raise this baby as a reminder of the philandering, cheating a$$hole you were seeing, or do you give it up for adoption? I personally might opt for the second one, but I'm not in your shoes....that's a very personal and long-reaching decision only YOU can make.

If you DO decide to keep the baby, tell him you intend to file for child support. Too bad if it f*cks up his marriage - he already took care of that on his own when he started screwing you and was already married to another woman. Since you've already contacted the wife, chances are his marriage is in the sh!tter as it is. Get the monetary help you will definitely need to raise HIS kid - IF you keep it (again, refer to the adoption thing above).

I do NOT envy you, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that I would NEVER EVER have another thing to do with that bastard.

Answer 5

oh honey, this is very sad...im so sorry you are going through this while you are pregnant, im sure that makes it sooo much harder. But listen, keep your baby, love your baby and you will be happy. As hard as it may be forget about him. You dont want a guy like that, he would just do the same thing to you. Leave him now and be strong for your baby. make sure you get child support from his cheatin ***! You are sooo much better then that and now you have one of the most wo nderful blessings in the world. Thank God for that! Its not going to be easy but you can do it! Hang in there be strong and think about the great things to come! I hope everything works out for you!

Answer 6

..I find it really hard to believe that you didn't know he was married, but anyway if I found out that my husband conceived a child with another woman during our marriage and we were able to get past it there's NO WAY I'd ever let him take part in that child's life. I'm just being honest! I would resent that child to no end. I think the best thing for you to do is to find that baby a nice couple that really wants a child that they can't conceive. Think about it. This baby deserves a loving home with 2 caring parents. Not only that but what will you tell this child growing up when he/she wants to know the story of it's parents. You have a big decision to make and I would strongly suggest thinking long and hard about your life and what you REALLY have to offer a baby given' these circumstances. And BTW .....hell hath no furry like a married woman's scorn

Answer 7

Hey girly,
You need to do whatever your heart and head tell you to do. If you want an abortion. Go for it. If you want the baby, do it. But I definately think you should tell the jackass about it. If the two of you decide to keep the baby, then his wife will have her own decisions to make. I am married and my husband cheated on me (before we got married). I had to realize that I am an adult. The girl he cheated with had nothing to do with it. It was my husband's decision to stray and I do not own him. If my husband got another woman pregnant, I would end our marriage and encourage him to be with the child. It is not the child's fault his father is a jackass! His wife sound like a B****! You make up your own mind. Your body, your life.

Answer 8

Don't kill your baby just because you found out your boyfriend is a cheating jerk! Keep the baby, tell him you are keeping it & that he will be held responsible for partaking in supporting the child even if only financially. Is wife will either have to deal with it or leave him, that is her decision. Do what is right for your child you have to think for the baby now, not for yourself. Good luck, sorry for your unfortunate situation.

Answer 9

Actually, It is NOT too late to get an abortion if you truly want one.
Think hard about what you want to do. Dont decide on a whim.

Dont let anyone talk you out of what you REALLY want to do. If you want to have this baby, do it. It will be hard, trust me. Im a single mom and I dont get any help. Keep in mind if you keep this child and sue him for child support, he will have visitation rights. If you truly want to cut him from your life, you can give the baby up, also.

I love my son with all my heart, but I wish that things had gone differently. His father is not involved, I dont recieve any support, and I suffer from post-partum depression, even after one year.

You do not have to be a single mom if you dont want to. If you truly dont want to keep the baby, dont. If you're having doubts now, you might feel resentful that you have a baby without the family you were hoping for after the baby is born and that wouldnt be fair to you or the child.

Good luck.

Answer 10

I am sorry this happened to you. Don't continue to see him. He lied to you and that means he doesn't really respect you or care about your feelings. Tell him the truth about your feelings on keeping the baby. If his name is on the birth certificate, you'll need his consent to give it up for adoption, so he has to be on board. If he refuses to let you give the baby up, consider giving him full custody of the child and sign over your rights to it. Between the two of you, you need to come up with a solution that works. If you think your feelings are too strong for him, then ask him to leave his wife, but beware, he cheated on her, he could do the same to you.