I have been married for 10 years. I was a stay at home mom for 3 because my daughter was sickly(better now). In Jan06 I went back to work making 40K. My hubby is a owner/operator truck driver and we have two other trucks we own and employ the guys through a company. Well, medical insur. with his company is crazy expensive. So it comes out of my check @ 400 on 1st and 15th for our two kids and him. Well , he makes anywhere from 4,000 to 13,000 a week (not kidding) but he has to pay the other two guys 45% of whatever they bring in on the truck! So if one of them makes 2,500 they get 45%. He is pissed at me because he says I don't pay enough bills. I pay for the kids lunch etc. and groceries and my cell and credit cards. Our monthly bills are about 4,000. I feel me paying 800 a month in insurance is a bill in itself! I would be broke if I continued to pay 500 in bills which is what I was paying before insurance started coming out! Now I pay 1 bill a pay period averaging 120 to 150. HELP
2006-09-14 07:25:02 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I admit when our accouts was together I would spend unnecessarily. So I did mess that up. Besides when I was not working he would get mad and not give me any and I would go to the bank an forge his signature. He would keep the money in the business acct. instead of putting in the household acct. So I like having my own acct. He was better person when he didn't make as much!
2006-09-14 08:18:20 · update #1
I definitely understand your frustration. Marriage should be a team effort. Maybe you need to write the numbers down for him and show him what you are contributing. Not to mention the "jobs" I'm sure you do at home such as take care of the kids, clean & cook. When money is tight it can come between people and make them unreasonable. Try to lay it all out for him logically, in a nice way.
2006-09-14 07:28:54 · answer #1 · answered by Nunya 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I sorry, but I can't grasp your husband's perspective that your paying medical insurance ($800) isn't 'paying the bills'. 800 x 12 equals 7,200 or about 18% of your gross income. You should take the time and check the monthly expenditures for about 3 months and then show the averages to your husband. He most likely has no idea of how much money goes out each month. You two need to develop a budget - based on 'family income' - and base your expenditures on the family budget.
2006-09-14 14:34:09 · answer #2 · answered by jack w 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are married. Why are you looking at it from the point of view that you or He is paying a bill. Shouldn't your incomes be combined into a joint account so you can share the burden equally. I understand he has a business to run but he still has an income from the business which is take home pay. It sounds like he is being selfish.
2006-09-14 14:33:08 · answer #3 · answered by miznike20 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to sit down and find out where all the money is actually going. keep reciepts for groceries, gas, credit card bills, cell phone bills, insurance (health/life/car/home)... everything you have that you spend on. and you need to figure out who's paying what, and it should be fair. you shouldnt only pay $1000 a month if he's paying $3000, ya know? but if you're buying food and driving the kids around everywhere and paying bills then you have to find a medium.
2006-09-14 14:32:02 · answer #4 · answered by mickey g 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Insurance is a bill, even if it's deducted from your check, and the amount you each should pay, should be in proportion to your incomes. For example; if he makes twice as much as you, he should pay 75% of the bills.
2006-09-14 14:30:39 · answer #5 · answered by eric l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When your married all the money is combined then you pay the bills. There isn't no his money or my money! Your husband better be glad that you work. At least you have a job, some mothers don't. Good Luck!
2006-09-14 14:32:54 · answer #6 · answered by BadAssGirlINWV 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you are definitely doing your share. And also keep in mind that presumedly you would be making more now if you hadn't been the one who put her career on hold for years to be home with your sickly daughter. And the insurance is definitely a large bill that you are paying. Unless you are making extravagant purchases you haven't mentioned, I think you are carrying more than your weight!
Good luck!
2006-09-14 14:31:08 · answer #7 · answered by Kris 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
BOTH of your paychecks (his of course after he pays the employees..his pay doesn't count until that is removed - that's his pay) should go in ONE pot - with no thinking at all about who makes more, etc. All of your bills - for both of you should be paid out of that one pot. THEN? 10% of the remaining should be put in savings. The rest should be divided in two for spending money for each of you. Marriage is a partnership. (on every level)
2006-09-14 14:30:21 · answer #8 · answered by svmainus 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look some guys would be very greatful to have a woman to pay any bills. Tell him to take it or leave it.
2006-09-14 14:29:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe one or both of you could could a second job working part time at home in order to increase your earnings--or sell things on eBay on the side.
2006-09-14 14:28:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋