A lot of answers say if you want your spouse to change, make changes in how you are to your spouse. Since it is not logical (but common) to expect a one-for-one change ratio and to get angry when the spouse diesn't "live up to their end of the bargain", what is a good number of changes to make where you should expect some change in your spouse.
To be clear, let's say you want more sex, so you start being more attentive. If that doesn't work, you do more housework so-on and so-on.
2006-09-14 06:50:31 · 8 answers · asked by butnozzle 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wrong question, neither you or your spouse should ever change for the other. Why would you marry a person if there were things about them you had to change to domesticate them, thats insane.
It is about compromise and negotiation, both have to engage in it, communication is the important skill. If neither of you can compromise, or you feel you need to compromise more than he, you may wish to consider a change of venue.
Never forget marriage is supposed to be a contract and for a contract to work both parties must contribute.
2006-09-14 06:58:36 · answer #1 · answered by Dane 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GRRRRRR!!!! You should not expect change. You were obviously attracted enough to your spouse to marry her, why would you want her to change. If your sex life has changed, what is going on in your relationship to limit that activity. You should not be more attentive or do more housework just to get laid. You should be working as a team for a common goal to keep your love alive and your home presentable. If there is still a problem are you hygenically compatible?
2006-09-14 07:07:53 · answer #2 · answered by twoshotjudy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From my experience most expectations when are too high bring about disappointments and unmet expectation are real killers to a person who has them.
I believe change must always start with yourself and that includes your perception and expectation. The more changes you make for yourself the more people and situation around you will change. ( It like you reap what you sow )
As for wanting " more sex " you should be more open and honest with what you want.
Find time to sit your spouse down and tell him what you are feeling and ask for what you need from him.Give him time to think over your request or rather need in this case.
In the event he not meeting your needs for any specific reason of his own, you would have opened the door for discussing this issue openly.
2006-09-14 07:05:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing you say or do will change your spouse. She knows that you're just being phony to get more sex. Women are way smarter than men in every way and if men don't realize this they are in big trouble.
However, if you want something, the key is to not want it.
Want more sex from your wife? Don't want sex! Don't ever mention it. Don't ever think about it. Don't even care about it. If she asks you to have sex tell her you're not in the mood. If you touch her soft skin, do it because you just want to touch her, not because you want to boink her.
TRY IT!
FP
2006-09-14 06:56:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree, fairly some human beings on indexed right here are in hassle-free terms worried approximately their better half can do for them and are not prepared to look at themselves first and spot in the event that they're infact the challenge, that's a delight ingredient i assume. some human beings do not pick suggestions they only pick others to trust them that their husband/spouse has acted wrongly.
2016-10-15 00:07:54 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are like fire hydrants. Even if you piss on them, they are still the same colour, same shape, same location, and never move. They are there for a reason though.
2006-09-14 06:52:48 · answer #6 · answered by cotterall&elaineadams 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it depends on whos the worst person of the two
2006-09-14 06:52:08 · answer #7 · answered by 2VonnyVonnVonn2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i will be keeping an eye on this?
2006-09-14 06:57:41 · answer #8 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋