My friend is leaving her marriage for her brother inlaw.?

Question

My friend I have known through school has told me she is leaving her husband for her brother inlaw. she has two young boys and He has older children, 2 girls one boy in the teen years.

She says they have both confessed how unhappy they both are, both couples have gone to marriage counselling and to no avail they both say that their partners are not responding and both are past the point of no return. She says thoughout the years they have both had the same interests, etc. My question is how does this affect a family. They plan on getting married so each others kids are at the moment nieces and nephews, and I'M sure when the family finds out it is going to be really hard on them.

They both have the attitude that they have a rigtht to be happy and the family will either accept or they wont and that will be a bridge they both have to cross.

What are your thoughts on the family tangle and the kids?

Has anyone known anyone who has married the inlaws?

Answer 1

WELL, IT MAY SOUND WRONG, BUT SOMETIMES LOVE JUST TAKES OVER. THE FAMILIES MAY GO THROUGH SOME DIFFICULT TIMES BECAUSE OF THE SITUATION, BUT IF YOUR FRIEND AND HER BROTHER IN LAW FIND A LOVE THAT WON'T QUIT, THEN THEY SHOULD BE TOGETHER, HOWEVER, THEY NEED TO FOCUS ON HOW TO DEAL WITH THE CHILDREN OF BOTH RELATIONSHIPS BECAUSE THE CHILDREN ARE MOST IMPORTANT.

MAYBIE THEY SHOULD KEEP IT QUIET FOR A FEW YEARS TO SEE IF THEY FIND THAT BEING APART HURTS. IF THEY ARE STILL IN LOVE AFTER A FEW YEARS THEN THEY SHOULD BE TOGETHER, BUT IF THEY ARE ENTERING A NEW RELATIONSHIP, THEY SHOULDN'T MAKE IT EVERYONE ELSES BUSINESS UNTIL THEY ARE SURE THAT THEY ARE REALLY IN LOVE.

Answer 2

Well i do agree that he should have stood up for you and stuff. And you do deserve extra recognize. Your taking care of your children how can men and women recall that being lazy (it is a 24 hour job of path). However perhaps you should just make an apology to your husband (he must suppose a bit of embarrassed) and might be speak to the mother and ask why she dislikes you a lot. The girl rarely knows you. However don't exhibit that your susceptible. Variety of now not talk as much as you possibly can most likely speak to your husband. Only to exhibit your still upset and are usually not letting this one slide. But be certain that your 7 year historic does not realize some thing. Wouldn't need to put any stress over him. And in case your husband nonetheless doesn't say or notice whatever (as most guys mostly don't ha ha) speak to him about it and say you do not like being treated this manner with the aid of him and his household. I relatively hope everything works out :)

Answer 3

I think it will be confusing and difficult for the family (everyone except them) Divorce and remarriage is sad and difficult for everyone involved no matter what. The problem here, is if husband of your friend feels betrayed by his brother, most likely other family will feel obligated to take sides. It really can tear the family apart. I hope they go about it in a mature way and are able to explain to everyone what's going on, and that their family loves them and supports them enough to be ok with it. I hope it doesn't cause too much trouble. You might suggest to her that they and the kids go through some family counselling throughout the whole process to make sure that the kids can vent their feelings and come to accept it quickly. Wouldn't want them to get too screwed up over this.

Answer 4

This is very common. It really reflects a lot of immaturity as love for the in-law is just displaced love for the spouse. If husband or wife dies and then the remaining partner marries the in-law - it usually works. If it is just a swap and all parties are alive it tears two marriages and the family apart. Ruins the kids and then doesn't last long. The ones being left often marry each other too and they should fight and keep the kids.

Answer 5

It's going to more than hard, its going to be devastation to all parties involved. The level of betrayal can not begin to be explain. Of all the men and of all the women why did they hook up with each other. They sound like two of the most selfish people in the world. Only thinking of themselves and not the confusion that this will cause the children. Not to mention the hurt that the spouses will endure. I don't think that they will find the happiness they were hoping for in this relationship. It will not be peace for a long time. They need to rethink their decision.

Answer 6

Let Jerry Springer sort that one out! No, really, the heart wants what the heart wants, it's sad there are kids involved, but kids go through much worse, and usually turn out okay, I'm a romantic, so true love to me is very important, I just can't condemn or endorse that either way.

Answer 7

Is this woman a Moron? Does she not know the confusion she will cause with her children? I can hear it now, "Mommy, why is Uncle Alan sleeping with you in your room instead of Daddy?" Their cousins will now become what their step brothers or sisters?? My God, has the man shortage become so bad that she has to keep it in that family?? It sounds like she needs to pull her head out of her A$$ & realize the ramifications of her actions on her children. Is she really so stupid that she can't see the affects this will have on her children or is it that she just doesn't care about anyone other than herself?

Answer 8

Do you think this will be a good move for those children? I agree they have rights to but really look at the whole picture, how will do Holiday's being in the same family? Yes they will have to cross a lot of bridge's ,but so will those baby's know matter their age. so please for everone's sake take your time.

Answer 9

i think its kinda selfish, not for nothing, those kids are going to
be awfully screwed up. If she had no kids with the 1 st husband
it maybe wouldnt have been so bad. This is a walking "Hamlet"
Think about it; theyre "aunt" is now their "mom"

Answer 10

This is very disfunctional. This will be very confusing for the kids. It is simply not right. They say they have the right to be happy? That is BS that shouldn't change their lives at their kid's expense.