Since I have been healing from my tramautic childhood experience. I didn't have my first flashes until about 6 years ago. I whated to know if any other survivors have a hard time dating? I have dated in the past when I didn't remember what happen to me, but since then it seems like I am starting all over again. Meaning, my ideas of a relationship was based on what happen to me. It feels like I need some guidance in how to approach dating. I have tryed looking up the subject in some books, but I haven't see a book that helps survivors how to date again. Can you all give me so advice? Thanks
2006-09-14 05:52:57 · 4 answers · asked by think 2 in Health ➔ Women's Health
It IS very difficult to trust people when one has been abused, especially in childhood!!!! If you have not already sought help in coming to terms with the traumatic experience/s you endured as a child, please dont expect to have any kind of HEALTHY relationships. We CAN and DO heal from the past and it takes time, an honest look at what happened and what we hope to achieve in any relationship. You seem to have some insight into what makes you tick and thats GREAT!!! When people show us they are trustworthy over a prolonged period of time, we may find our defenses dropping and being able to trust. It is really important for us to stay in the moment and take each person we date as they are. Relationships are WORK, no matter who we are or what we've lived through. It may be easy to avoid the "work" of a healthy relationship by slipping back into the past. It is also easy to get into an abusive relationship if we have not done our own work. Good luck. There IS hope for all of us.
2006-09-14 06:02:02 · answer #1 · answered by Barbara A 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My guy was abused as a child. He didn't know it until he was about 25 and slowly he started remembering things. By this time he was already married to an abusive women, but stuck with her for 16 years thinking she'd change, I think like he was hoping his father might have changed. He is still to this day (mid 40's) bothered by what had happened to him, but with me he is finally able to smile and laugh. It'll take you time to find someone willing to work with you to find a way for you to slowly let go of some of your hurt.
He did so with lots of counselling, which benefitted him. My suggestion is that you try that route first.
2006-09-14 14:58:41 · answer #2 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
http://www.rainn.org/
Please go to this website for any information you need on this subject.
Advice from strangers can be good and sometimes not. You may not realize it, but there are many issues that you will have to work through and only a professional can help guide you.
Good luck and God bless!
2006-09-14 13:26:45 · answer #3 · answered by moekittykitty 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ok i won't
2006-09-14 13:52:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋