1. People, I am college and often dont know what to say, when to say & how to say and that kinda screws my image up. How do I change this aspect of my approach? I really look like a joker at times.
2. Since "1" didnt work wonders for me (but I still want an answer for it), I'm kinda re-inventing myself. I often let my friends make a fool outta me and let them get away since I feel and they temme, that its all for fun. But thr are limits rite? How shud I conduct myself that ppl dont kinda make a fool outta me and/or send them a clear mssg that its too much coz if u get too heated up, ppl shall trouble me even more and if I continue letting lose, I'll have no repute left.
3. How to act shrewd, yet not sound rude?
Guys, plz help me out. Serious replies plz.
2006-09-14 05:18:40 · 12 answers · asked by Rajeev 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
sounds like you need to hang with a different crowd....best way to reinvent yourself hang with an new crowd....go somewhere or do things you have wanted to do but haven't done.
2006-09-14 05:22:18 · answer #1 · answered by turner32542 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Just be yourself.. Say what you feel like, when YOU want it and in the way that makes you feel good. Think about it youself. Try to analyse which people get respect and love of others? Well, surely not the ones who think about their every step, not the ones who are trying to be something for others.. Thats all too artificial... All people are different and you can never satusfy each of them. So, be yourself. And if somebody doesnt accept you it's their problem. As soon as you will understand this you will gain respect.
2. If they are really your friends then just be honest and tell "thats too much dude" or "enough for now". Even better is to answer with another joke, what can actually be hard. Anyway it is natural for friends to make fun of each other. But if it's just people who surround you, dont let them make fun of you. Of course some innocent jokes which are a part of every day life are ok. If its people you dont like+jokes you dont like, answer rude and short.. or be over it... smile and walk away... as long as people see you dont care nobody will be interested in making jokes of you.
All in all, just take it easy, be who you are, search people who accept it. Jerks have always existed, someone will joke about someone else always.. it was so and will be so.. Be over it.. Dont let others spoil your life.
3. Shrewd but not rude.. hm... use your sense of humour, make jokes about people, but not too cruel ones... If you have problem with finding the right joke at the right time buy some humour book, or read some jokes in internet daily.
PS: think, maybe there is smth more important in life than image.. many people apreciate persons who are good, reliable friends, whom you can trust and so on... In long-term that has more value than image..
2006-09-14 05:39:18 · answer #2 · answered by Magnetic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not certain I completely understand your problem. However, all I can suggest is be yourself around your friends. Don't pretend to be something you aren't. If you come off as a fake individual, you will be perceived as fake.
As far as them making a fool of you, avoid doing anything foolish. If they ask you to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable or awkward, don't do it! Say something like: "You do it first!" That will usually shut them down pretty quickly.
Please don't take this last part as an insult or an attack. But it appears you need to learn how to stand on your own two feet. You are an individual, not a puppet.
Learn to influence others instead of having others influence you.
I can't give you any advice on how to do this - it is something you must learn for yourself.
Best of Luck!
(By the way, I am a junior in college. I am currently attending Southwestern Oklahoma State University.)
2006-09-14 05:27:50 · answer #3 · answered by Oklahoman 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The saying goes "If you can't say something nice, say nothing." But letting people make a fool out of you doesn't do much for your self-esteem. If you feel that these people are bugging you for no reason, either tell them to quit it or just walk away. You don't need the extra stress.
2006-09-14 05:23:17 · answer #4 · answered by Blue Jean 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1- Don't think to much, just say what u feel. Sounds like you are trying to hard.
2- Friends aren't friends if they treat you like that, take a break from them, find some new friends and when they do heat you up don't let it bother you and especially don't let them know it bothered you.
3- ignore them, its the best medicine you can dish out. They will find someone else to dawg
2006-09-14 05:25:00 · answer #5 · answered by chris_birdie72 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you have very low self-esteem. You should talk to an advisor. Maybe there are groups to go to. Also, if Your college isn't very big, You might want to go somewhere else. Re-inventing Yourself is alot of work, and Your studies might suffer. No One deserves to be made fun of. Only If You're a comedien.
Good Luck
2006-09-14 05:24:32 · answer #6 · answered by Catnipgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. get a backbone
2. realize that you are living your life for you, and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.
3. Say whatever you feel when you want to say it. Just be yourself.
4. People will have and show way more respect for you if you learn to stick up for yourself. If you don't like what someone is saying tell them to shut it. Simple as that!
2006-09-14 05:24:47 · answer #7 · answered by thankgodformaryjane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Liso -> .... Secondly, YOU set the tone for how people treat you.
^^^ Thats so true. Dude, u seem (dont mind Rajeev) a bit low on confidence to speak your mind out and seem to act lame at times.
So Liso, could u kinda enlighten us a bit more abt the subject? Maybe every1 could take a lesson or 2 on "Setting a TONE for ppl to treat us".
2006-09-14 15:29:53 · answer #8 · answered by Cristiano R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your going through what they call finding urself. Do you like it when ur friends use u as the butt of their jokes? tell them u don't tell them that u have out grown that side of you. Be stern in your desicions and they will respect u in the long run for it. Plus there is always a time and a place to be silly.... you need to draw the line.
2006-09-14 05:23:31 · answer #9 · answered by Redneck Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For starters, I wouldn't call those people who make a fool out of you "Friends." Secondly, YOU set the tone for how people treat you. You don't have to be rude to let people know where you stand. Don't allow them to set you up. Change who you hang with.
2006-09-14 05:37:04 · answer #10 · answered by Liso 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think for any change every body need a break . so i think you can do this..
take a week long break.keep some points in your mind.
don't speak too much.
be a well dressed .
show your interest in your study
make very few close to you.
i think you try this.
2006-09-14 05:24:51 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋