Am I the only one that thinks men should not have to pay child support?

Question

Once a woman is pregnant and if the man wants nothing to do with it he no longet has any options and is screwed for 18 years. On the other hand the woman has plenty of options if the pregnancy is unwanted. She can have an abortion, she can give the baby up for adoption, or she can keep it and have every aspect of it payed for with child support. I think if a man finds out he is going to be a father and wants nothing to do with a child he should be able to go to the courts and fill out some forms giving up all right and legal obligations to the child within the first three months of the pregnancy. That way the woman knows up front that she is gonna be doing it alone. I mean that is basically what a woman does when she gives up a child for adoption. Why should it be diffrent for men? They always say it takes two to make a baby, so how come the man gets screwed when it comes to equal rights, concerning the baby? I for one, will never pay child support for a child I do not want.

Before anymore people answer this saying that I am sorry, should keep it in my pants, blah blah blah. AFTER the woman is pregnant, the man has no more rights, period. Thats it. What I am saying is that if the man has no rights the woman shouldn't either. Would you tell the woman that she couldn't give the baby up for adoption or couldn't have an abotion to get out of it? No? Then why would you tell a man basically the same thing? Oh and faerie, for your information if the woman doesn't put you on the birth certificate she can most certainly give up the baby for adoption without the real fathers concent.

One more thing, for the people saying that I need to be in this situation to understand what I am talking about. I have and that is why I feel so strongly about it.

Answer 1

I work with many guys that are paying child support, and man is it a rough system! Getting thrown in jail for a missed payment or giving the money to your child as a gift vs. through the state can just trow you into a vicious cycle that spirals downwards.

Whether I agree with your point of view or not, it does not take away that it is a good and valid observation. However, I would modify it a little bit. Instead of waiting for the woman to be pregnant and then filling out the paperwork, why not have the woman fill out the paperwork BEFORE she is pregnant, and before there is any intercourse. I mean... there's Birth Control, why not have Parent Control? I'm not being sarcastic. It used to be awkward to ask your partner about protection and now it is just an acceptable norm.

The way it is now is the most just way because there is no proveavble (sic) way to say "she knew I didn't want a baby". Well if you have her sign it, she will know up front what to expect and you can have something to show the courts that if she does have the baby it will be a conscious decision to have it as a single parent.

Answer 2

Yes, there are many options for a woman who gets pregnant. There are many options beforehand to prevent pregnancy. If you do not want to risk being forced by the courts to pay child support, I'd suggest you keep your pants zipped up tight, or you think first before having sex. It is not just the woman's responsibility to prevent pregnancy. It is yours as well. Wear a condom every time. Get a vasectomy. Make sure the woman is using birth control as well, or has her tubes tied. Don't have sex unless both of you have taken every precaution against pregnancy and disease. But even then, there is always a chance of getting pregnant if you're having sex. When I was younger, I got pregnant through a condom and a sponge while I was on the pill. I had a miscarriage in the end, but I was still pregnant. It can happen. So if a woman gets pregnant by you even though you've taken every precaution in the world, it still doesn't all fall on her. You played an essential role in conceiving a child. If you want nothing to do with the child, but the woman wants to keep it, you will be legally responsible to cough up the cash, else pay the consequences.

Answer 3

I assume that you have never been pregnant. I am currently expecting and the father wants nothing to do with it.Just because of this does not mean that I am going to give my child up. It takes 2 people to make this baby and the mother has to go through everything. Yeah the mom can have an abortion but oh well, if she wants to raise a baby then let her. And with adoption in most cases the father has to give up his rights. So yes a father should have to pay for child support. Do not let men get away with getting any girl pregnant without taking some type of respopnsibilty. Plus if he pays then it is helping something that HE helped to create and the mother has to carry.

Answer 4

I think you have a grandiose idea of what child support entails. All of the women I know who get child support get some measly amount like $50-200 a month, which covers very little. The only people I know who have "every aspect of it payed for" are celebrity wives who have high-paid attornies.

I do agree that it seems unequal that a woman has so many rights over a fetus while a man has few. But, in the long run of thousands of years of history, it has been the women who have gotten screwed, so sometimes it is important to create legislation to help balance out negative trends we have seen in history.

I'd say that with you feeling this strongly about the topic, it would be a very good idea that you abstain from having sex with anyone who you don't want to have a child with, since no form of birth control is foolproof.

Answer 5

Frankly, I agree with you. Men should have the option of walking away. I'm a woman and I completely understand where you're coming from. Why would anyone want a man in their lives that does not want to be a father to their child? Making someone pay child support for 18 years, though morally "the right thing to do" perhaps, should not be mandated by law.

I'm a mother of a beautiful baby girl and would honestly prefer not to have anything to do with her father. If he would sign away his parental rights entirely to me in exchange for never having to pay child support ever again, I would sign those papers in a heartbeat.

I would stress, however, that that contract would have to be permanent and irrevocable under the law (which is not the case for biological parents; a father can always come and assert rights to a biological child, no matter the circumstances). If he were to sign those rights away, that should be a complete termination of acknowledgment of paternity in every sense of the word.

I certainly understand the women who have the perspective that men should have to 'pay for their mistakes' or whatever. But, honestly, it takes two to tango and if the woman later decides to keep the baby over the objection of the father, that's her choice. There is no sense in involving an unwilling party for 18+ years. If the man wants out, I think he should be shown the door, understanding that he can never return.

Those are my two cents.

Answer 6

If you don't want to be in that situation then either quit having sex or have yourself fixed. If you are having sex then you know the chances are that you could get the woman pregnant if you are not responsible enough to take care of a child then quit having sex. when a woman gets pregnant it is not just her responsibility it is also the mans. Also I think that if a woman gets pregnant and the man would like to raise the child then the woman should have to have the baby and give it up to the man and pay him child support I think it should be worked in both directions. i think if a woman is going to have an abortion or give up baby for adoption then the man should have to sign the papers to.

Answer 7

i think that you need to sit and think about the reality of that sort of situation. i am pro-choice, however many women do not see abortion as an option, whether for religious reasons or for their own peace of mind. it's easy enough to say the things you say and have those sorts of opinions, but until you actually have to walk in those shoes you will never be able to make an educated judgement on the matter. don't be to quick to speak on making the woman responsible for it, just because you take the cowards way out.

if she were to keep it and give it up for adoption, pregnancy is a huge stress put onto a womans''s body. there are many things that can happen to her while she is pregnant, hormone changes, back problems, loss of work as the pregnancy progresses, just to name a few.

and if she were to have an abortion, it's not as easy as just saying, i'm getting an abortion. that is a major surgery and it would not be easy to go through that procedure plus have the knowledge that you are making a huge and sad decision.

there is alot more to this topic than just bailing on her.

Answer 8

I think the only circumstance in which a man should not have to pay child support is if the woman does not want the man in her or the babys life and he is willing to give up all rights to the child. Other than that, pay up.

Answer 9

I sure hope there aren't many more like you out there. Very few women give up their baby for adoption, and a lot of women can't bear the thought of having an abortion. So, if you have unprotected sex - as a male or a female - and the result is a pregnancy, both of you are responsible and both of you have to face the consequences. You don't want kids, stick with yer rightie until you do or make sure you have safe sex.

Answer 10

A man can sign papers stating that he is giving up his parental rights and have nothing to do with the child. If you didn't do that, then suck it up and be a man. Take responsibility for your actions; you were careless to have unprotected sex so deal with the consequences. Being a father is more than just paying child support.