I'm 23, wife is 22 (young I know) with a 2 yr old son. My wife left Tuesday because she was unhappy. She felt lonely and useless at home while I was gone all day and worked. So she packed up all her stuff while I was at work ( I had no idea), and left me a note that said that she was going back to school and moving in with her parents. I'm not a sleaze-bag, I haven't been the best husband, but I have always provided for my family. I've never cheated on her, or abused her. But I know that I've failed to convey my love effectively. What should I do? Her note said not to contact her immediately but how long should I wait before I call? I think she is just jealous of her twin sister and single friends in college having fun. Any help is appreciated.
2006-09-14 05:15:31 · 9 answers · asked by Rivrav 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to find a way to make her feel wanted. Tell her and show her that you love her. Call her now, forget the 'don't contact me immediately crap'. You two need to sit down and talk. You guys have a child together and no matter how crappy she feels, your child needs to be put first. Her just running off with him because she feels lonely isn't in his best interest. If she wants to go to college, find a way to make it happen where you guys live. If there isn't a college nearby, there are always schools online. She needs to know you'll do anything for her. She also needs to see that you're going to change, that you're going to show your love for her and not take her for granted anymore. Find a babysitter and take her out more often. Make her dinner on the weekends. Bring her home flowers just because. If you want her back, you need to become a better husband for her.
And to that one answerer who said that the poster gets up and goes to work and his wife gets up and does nothing....Get real! She has a two year old son to watch and take care of! That is hardly doing nothing all day! What planet do you live on??
2006-09-14 05:39:59 · answer #1 · answered by Lucy_Fir 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One concern I have is that you haven't called her yet...Most young girls dream of the wedding, the playing house and being a mother, and then quickly realize when the new wears off that its not all its cracked up to be...You need to contact her and your son and sit down and talk. Its not going to be easy for either of you but explain to her that it will get better..If both of you try. Maybe she can take a part time job to make her feel like she also is contributing to this relationship. Also make sure when you get home take enough time to notice that the house looks good or dinner is great. Little things go along way. Besides that's all any of us want in life is to be validated..
2006-09-14 05:35:04 · answer #2 · answered by Mechelle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She has a kid, so she needs to get over being jealous of her sister and friends who get to party. That all ended the day she got pregnant.
As for you, you need to prove to her that you'll be there for her and if she wants to go back to school, she can go part time. Support her in what she wants to do.
If she said call immediately, you should have done it the minute you found the note. If not, she may be thinking you don't care. Call her!!!!!
2006-09-14 05:21:07 · answer #3 · answered by Kelly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Write a letter and mail it to her parents house and see what happens. I think if you know you haven't been the best husband then that is a start. Just tell her how you feel and how you want things to change. But make sure it is the absolute truth.
2006-09-14 05:29:10 · answer #4 · answered by onnie9902 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go see her and convince her that not only do you love her but you support her plan to go to school. Help her feel useful and loved. You got your work cut out for you but it will be worth it in the long run. DO NOT SLIP BACK INTO OLD HABITS!!!!!
2006-09-14 05:21:19 · answer #5 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'M SURE IT WAS TOUGH FOR HER TO BE SO YOUNG AND STUCK AT HOME ALL DAY WITH A CHILD. MAYBE SHE NEEDS TO GO OUT GET A JOB OR GO TO SCHOOL SO THAT SHE FEELS LIKE SHE HAS SOMETHING TO DO. LOOK AT YOU, YOU GET UP EVERY MORNING AND GO TO WORK. SHE GETS UP EVERY MORNING AND DOES NOTHING. SHE NEVER DISCUSSED THIS WITH YOU BEFORE? IT JUST SEEMS STRANGE THAT SHE WOULD UP AND LEAVE WITH OUT ANY WARNING. I THINK THERE IS ALOT MORE TO THE STORY THAT YOU ARE NOT TELLING US
CALL HER ON FRIDAY. THAT GIVES HER ENOUGH TIME.
2006-09-14 05:20:53 · answer #6 · answered by FRECKLES 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First you both have to know if you love each other enough to make this marriage work....second ...you must communicate to each other....and then comprimise to each others needs...and most of all Put God first in your marriage then all will work out ...trust me...if you dont trouble is coming!!!!
2006-09-14 05:25:56 · answer #7 · answered by JANIE 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Call her today. Offer her more help to go back to school. If she wants to better her education. If it's just to run around.....Well,then she's better off where she is.
2006-09-14 05:31:02 · answer #8 · answered by whataboutme 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I WOULD START WITH PRAYING FOR HER AS WELL AS YOURSELF. THERE IS A BOOK CALLED POWER OF A PRAYING HUSBAND. IT IS BY STORMIE O'MARTIN.
ALSO I WOULDN'T WAIT TOO LONG TO CALL AS WOMEN TEND TO TEST MEN. SHE IS SEEING MOST LIKELY IF YOU STILL LOVE HER. TRY DATING HER ALL OVER AGAIN.
ANOTHER BOOK IS FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES. ALSO IN CHRISTIAN BOOK SECTION. HER LOVE LANGUAGE SOUNDS DIFFERENT THAN YOURS. TRUE OFTEN BETWEEN HUSBAND AND WIFE.
I HOPE BOTH OF THIS HELPS.
2006-09-14 05:20:31 · answer #9 · answered by baptism_by_fire_2000 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋