ok im 17...and my bf is 18 and he wants to get married..i dont kno what to do..dont get me wrong we love eachother very much..but i dont know what to do...any advice??
2006-09-14 04:46:59 · 14 answers · asked by derricklover21 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
IT IS EXCITING TO DREAM OF THAT PERFECT MARRIAGE. DOES HE HAVE A JOB? A COLLEGE EDUCATION? A VEHICHLE? DOES HE RESPECT HIS PARENTS? DOES HE HAVE HIS OWN PLACE TO LIVE...OUTSIDE OF MOM AND DAD'S? DOES HE ATTEND CHURCH? DOES HE WANT CHILDREN OR YOU? ARE YOU PLANNING ON GOING TO COLLEGE OR FINISHING HIGH SCHOOL? DOES HE MIND YOU WORKING? DOES HE PLAN ON HELPING AROUND THE HOUSE OR ARE YOU EXPECTED TO DO IT ALL?
THESE ARE QUESTIONS I THINK NEED TO BE ADDRESSED. ALSO DO THE PREMARRIAGE CLASSES WITH EACH OTHER BECAUSE MARRIAGE TODAY IS LOOKED AT "WELL IF IT DOESN'T WORK OUT WE CAN JUST GET DIVORCED...." THIS IS NOT A GOOD ATTITUDE TO GO INTO A MARRIAGE.
2006-09-14 05:00:09 · answer #1 · answered by baptism_by_fire_2000 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
As a happily married guy, let me just say this:
Statistically, marriages at your age don't work out.. because you and your "potential hubby" don't have enough "infrastructure" to SUSTAIN a marriage. You both may have the right intentions... but you need to be practicle. How do you sustain your life together? Some factors:
Education: A High school diploma in today's job market isn't going to get you very far. Sure... there are jobs that you can do that are very profitable... but, long term can you do them?
Career: I'm not talking about a job... I'm talking about a long-term plan for development and growth. In time, you will likely get bored of doing day-care or mowing the lawn.
Kids: Do you want any? How do you afford them? Kids are expensive! Average kids these days cost $20,000 - $30,000 a year to maintain, minimum.
I don't know you personally. And, I don't want to discourage you, because you all may have potential together. But, I would encouarge you to at least talk about it together... and see how you plan to get past the first 3 years or so.
GETTING MARRIED IS EASY. SUSTAINING A MARRIAGE IS HARD.
2006-09-14 05:20:29 · answer #2 · answered by Sam I AM 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
17 and 18 is too young! As grown up as you two may feel, take it from someone who has been on the road of life much longer than you. Go for a long (Really-Really long) engagement. People change especially when they are still growing. You are not yet established in your careers nor do you even have clearly established goals. These are all important factors in the success of a relationship. You are young ,there is no hurry.
2006-09-14 05:10:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not going to question whether or not he really loves you, I'm going to assume that he does. That being said, you are only 17, how much "life" have you experienced? No, I'm not talking about sleeping around, drinking, drugs....I'm talking about being away from your family (from your bf) and making decisions for yourself. I got married at 21 and although I am very happy with him, I would have waited to marry. I never had a chance to live alone or have my own place and make decisions for myself. I went from being the "perfect" daughter to a wife and lost a lot of my own identity in the process. Be sure of who you are before committing to him.
2006-09-14 04:57:22 · answer #4 · answered by Please use other door 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well how do you feel about this? most marriges around your age end in a few years and devorce is confusing and costs alot. maby you should go out untill you both are out of school and see if you two still have the same fillings for eachother. remember its your life your young do you whant to spend money on a wedding that might end later on in life then have kids and pay for a house. WHAT IF YOU TWO CAN'T AFFORD IT!!! so what i would do is finish school (the both of you) get jobs. see if you want to bet the odds and buy/rent a home get everything settled and then have kids.
2006-09-14 05:01:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you guys are still young and I know that you both really in love eachother so much. it is a biggest thing in life about marriage. and you guys are not ready, want to have good time and have fun and not worry about babies in your hand.. I didn't get married until i was 27 years old and didn't have kids until 32 years old so that pretty good life I have right now and now 3rd child due next year in april. smiling.
if living eachother right now it the time to learn eachother what really life is like... smiling.
2006-09-14 06:51:04 · answer #6 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
17 & 18 is a little young for marriage. Just given you are asking what to do should provide you with a hint. Obviously you are not ready, but you may be afraid to tell him this in the event he leaves you.
You can also have a fairly long engagement..... just because you agree to marry the man, does not mean you need to do it immediately.
Talk to him, tell him you love him, tell him you'd love to be engaged, but a wedding should not be planned for immediately.
2006-09-14 05:08:24 · answer #7 · answered by cdnponygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not get married until you are both 150% sure you want to get married. Stay together, enjoy life together and get married when you are in your 20's and more sure of the person you are and the person they are. Getting married will not change the way you feel about each other.
2006-09-14 05:42:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't think you are ready, don't get married right now. Go away to school or something and see more of the world and see how you feel when you come back.
2006-09-14 10:10:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you dont know what to do then you dont need to get married!
If he loves you then he will wait till you are ready
2006-09-14 04:49:32 · answer #10 · answered by bdmrplemons 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋