I recently found someone that I am feeling very good with maybe too good, but my children are a little bit "harsh" what do I do?
2006-09-14 04:42:48 · 11 answers · asked by mysterious 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Continue to date this person but don't attempt to introduce the children. I am with a man who left his (horrible) wife last July. We met 5 months later and quite a few people told him it was too soon - in fact one person told him he should never have another relationship again because of his teenage son. But my man had left specifically because his ex did not love him, just his money, and he wanted to take the chance of happiness while it was there. I take the view that his son is nothing to do with me (and the kid has not been speaking to him since long before we met) I have a relationship with the man, not his son. When his son wants to talk to his dad again, my man has told me that his son will just have to accept our relationship. I do think it would be wrong for kids to deny their divorced parents the chance of happiness permanently, whilst expecting to be able to form relationships themselves.
2006-09-14 04:58:34 · answer #1 · answered by Specsy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, take your time and don't rush things. I know how wonderful it feels when you finally find someone after you've been divorced. The thing is you have to give your kids time to adjust as well as yourself. I found that it took more than a year before I started realizing that there were a lot more options and possibilities out there life wise and relationship wise than I could have imagined. If this relationship is as good as you think then it will last and they will respect the fact you need to do what is right for your kids and you before jumping full blast into anything.
2006-09-14 11:48:51 · answer #2 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 children and its only been since December? Lordy be no wonder there being "Harsh" as they lost one of there parents to divorce and your bringing in someone new and strange....
You should be taking care of those children fulltime and not looking for another Lover - Friend - Companion etc.... If there younger they need you and Your "X's" full attention...
2006-09-14 11:46:37 · answer #3 · answered by Scott 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to date I suggest you keep it far from your children. Go out and date. Recruit family members or friends or hire a cheap sitter, until you two have made a determination it is serious keep it seperate. You don't want to parade people in and out of your home and your children's lives. It's a sticky situation- give your children some more time to heal and yourself some more time to get to know this guy. Good Luck
2006-09-14 11:53:01 · answer #4 · answered by therealprinsess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally understand, but you got to give it some time. Most people before they get married they date for a long time. like 5 or 6 years long time. So see if u still feel the same way about this someone after awhile. And ur kids will be fine. Your kids will soon be happy but for now just do things that ur kids like: make their favorite meal, write them little love notes and stick in their lunches, stuff like that have family time with them. Your kids will learn to like ur new boyfriend soon. And remember SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE IS WRONG!
2006-09-14 11:48:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it slow and easy. If you force him on the kids , they are going to resent him big time. Let him become a part of your family very slowly and the kids will accept him better. They're probably still hurt from your divorce, and the loss of their Dad. Slow and easy are the keywords, not only for them, but yourself as well. Best of Luck to you!
2006-09-14 11:48:02 · answer #6 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must remember these children has been through a lot, it takes time, you can"t just be thinking of yourself at this moment. If you must see your now friend, you go to his place, not having him their all the time, you have some working to do with your kids, so that they can grow up to be wholesome adults.
2006-09-14 11:55:38 · answer #7 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Might want to take it a little slow, then hopefully you won't have to go through another divorce.
The kids probably still have some resentment over this "new comer" Talk to them and explain your situation. Then let them know that while they don't have to be happy about the circumstances, they must be respectful to you and your new friend.
2006-09-14 11:49:29 · answer #8 · answered by Jeffrey S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do NOT allow your children to disrespect this man simply because he is not their father. They need to understand that life goes on and your entitled to be happy and move on with your life.
2006-09-14 12:28:35 · answer #9 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stay single untill they are grown ,, devote ALL your time to them ,, take it from a mother that would do it all over differently!!believe me ,,, you will never be sorry , they ARE the most important thing you will EVER have in your life.and dont forget to listen to Dr. Laura, and no 'shacking"
2006-09-14 11:47:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋