he was on the phone with an old friend when his friend asked him who i was he said a friend. that he was helping me out till i got a job.when i questioned him he said i was eves-dropping that what he said didn't matter.that it was no ones buisness i was with him.i feel like he is embarresed of me because i am a bbw. i don't know what to think.i am tring very hard to lose the weight but its hard.it takes time .im wondering if i am wasting my time.we get along so well.we have everything in common.but our sex life sucks.im afraid to let go and have fun because i don't want to get hurt.i was married 10yrs.i don't want to be alone.HELP.im pushing him away. we are supposed to talk when he gets home from work.what do i do
2006-09-14 04:24:33 · 24 answers · asked by confused shelly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Girl, if you find out, can you please tell me???!
I have the same damn problem..They expect you to know..Don't you hate that!
2006-09-14 04:26:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That fear of being alone is going to stick you in some really bad relationships if you let it.
I was totally prepared to say that some guys simply grow up in a family where expression of emotions doesn't happen, but no. If this guy can't even be bothered to refer to you as his "girlfriend", and thinks it's nobody's business whether he cares about you or not, then he is effed-up well beyond anything I would suggest you simply tolerate. There is absolutely no guarantee that he'll acknowledge you any more or differently once you lose the weight - odds are he'll move on to some other excuse instead.
It looks like you've got until he gets home from work to get it through your head that you have the right to be happy in a relationship, and that being UNhappy in a relationship is WORSE than being alone. Because at least when you're alone, you can regain total control over your life and what you want out of it. Absolutely insist that he be more demonstrative with his affections, in whatever form you want that to take, if that's what you want out of him, and be prepared to walk if he says he can't give it to you.
2006-09-14 04:32:34 · answer #2 · answered by Katie S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Deep down inside I think you know the answers to this problem. You have life experience that will help you. Use them. Search your heart and talk it over with him. Tell him how you feel and if he truly loves you, you will work through this together. If he is not willing to talk about it then you need to face the fact that he may not be in to you like you are to him. Don't let the fear of being alone dictate how you proceed in life. There are millions of men in the world. Work on yourself for yourself and not for others. Only you can control your happiness. No one else has that power unless you give it up.
2006-09-14 04:37:28 · answer #3 · answered by BECB 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know the best if it does not feel right.If your sex life sucks as well, maybe he just likes to have you as a friend, or convenience. Tell him that you decided that it is time to break up. If he fights for you, he wants you.If not, there is your answer. You are scared, I know, but don't waste another 10 years on someone who will leave you when you are older, and have a smaller chance of finding someone new. When it comes to loosing weight; the only thing that works is cutting calories.
2006-09-14 04:32:24 · answer #4 · answered by sheba 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When a man tells his friend that you are "just a friend" it is not a good sign. I had a guy like that in my life several years back. He says "friend" cuz he doesn't know what else to say for you.
I'm cubby myself, and my husband loves me regardless. He would like it if I were thin but he love ME. Being chubby does not rule out love for you, sista!
Its a hard lesson to learn but I have come to know & belive that you are better off alone than with a guy that calls you his "freind" and that you dont have great sex with. You are sacrificing you happiness for what?? I think that you would do well for yoursefl to let him go, move out and get on with greiving that 10 year marriage; continue to loose weight and find a hot man who likes to jump in the sack - A lot!!
You are worth more than you think you are!
2006-09-14 04:33:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he cared he would be telling you so and he wouldn't be afraid of who knew.
You shouldn't try to change just for some man, just be who you are and find a man who appreciates you just the way you are.
Your current man doesn't appreciate you and clearly he's not wanting others to know you are with him.
Being in a one-ended relationship is worse than being alone, I have been in both situations and I can assure you that you are better off alone until you find someone else.
2006-09-14 04:28:59 · answer #6 · answered by live2ride 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, I was with my new man for 5months. I knew he love me I just had to wait to hear it. And I did then when he did finally tell me he said you know i love you right? so he still really didn't say it. men claim to be simple creatures. but their not they are more complex than us. You are not pushing him away, and maybe you have less in common than you think. I was in a relationship for five years and what finally made me leave was my girls said lets make a list. We had a good times list and bad times list. bad out weighed the good. then we made lists about everything all of the bad out weighed the good. maybe you should take a step back and reassess
2006-09-14 04:35:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In this situation you have to be strong and NOT act on your emotions. Meaning, don't stay with him cuz you don't want to be alone, and don't leave him cuz you're mad. Do what you truly need to do for YOURSELF....I have a feeling that once you lose the weight, he'll be taking you out to show you off. Do you wanna be with someone like that??? So, you can be alone, with yourself, losing your weight, treating yourself right, and demanding nothing but respect from others... OR you can stay with him waiting for him to tell you he loves you and thinks your pretty and introduces you to his friends. If he ever does. PUT YOURSELF FIRST!!!!!!
2006-09-14 04:32:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are not pushing him away it's him pushing you away...why be with someone who is ashamed to be with you? He can't admit to his friend that he has a girlfriend? Maybe his friend isn't just a friend. You should talk to him and then move on with your life, losing weight would be much easier if you still wanted to and you would be making a life for yourself after 10years of making one for two people...
2006-09-14 04:28:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry dude, do not recommend to be harsh or something yet you're getting used mate! How lengthy have you ever been putting up with those s**t? and how lengthy extra do you want to proceed putting up with all of those? in case you ain't chuffed you recognize what to do no individual has to allow you to recognize.
2016-11-26 23:01:40 · answer #10 · answered by southern 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girlfriend you are a beautiful woman inside and out you don't need a man to define who you are. if you feel he is ashamed of you then you need to get rid of him. if you stay with him you will only be hurting yourself. which you are all ready doing if you arejust a friend to his friend then that is what you really are to him just a friend nothing more. tell him you don't want or need his hand outs
2006-09-14 04:29:33 · answer #11 · answered by ms1choc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋