Is it wrong to view porn to compensate for a poor sex life?

Question

I am married and am suffering from a severe case of ... well a lack of sex maybe once or twice a month. Plus I am only 25 so I am in my peak. Help please!

I haven't really watched it because I think it is kind of stupid but I need to release some sexual pressure

Answer 1

Anything to compensate for lack of love at home is wrong, in my opinion. I understand that you need a release, but have you talked to your wife about this? Maybe if you give her a chance she will be more willing to help out. My husband and I have had to work out differences, including those in the bedroom, and communication is a key to making a strong, happy, successful marriage. Please don't give up on that commitment! Temptation is one thing, but anything such as porn, affairs or seeking satisfaction outside the bonds of marriage is such a betrayal that it could do real damage to your relationship. Talk to your wife and give her a chance.

Answer 2

Right or wrong is a value judgement. However, what is best for a person so that they can maximize their life and happyness is probably what you meant. Viewing porn is likely to cause you more problems by increasing your expectations, distorting your view of sex, and frustrating you more than you already are. You may wish to look at why your wife only wants to have sex with you once or twice a month. Would more romance, flowers and such help her be in the mood? Is sex painful for her? Is she afraid of getting pregnant? Does she have other fears or religious objections? Could you make sex more interesting for her? Does she need counseling or therapy?

Answer 3

I believe it is. I think pornography is just plain wrong. But I commend you for staying faithful and trying to find a solution for the problem that you AND your wife have. I personally believe that lack of communication is the reason why most, if not all, marriage's sex life suffer. Have you asked your wife what you could do to "put her the mood more often"? Are you feeling rejected? Is she feeling insecure about herself? Was she ever sexually abused? There are so many things going on in both your heads that not discussing it will cause a distance between you in that area. You need to decide together that you need to talk about what's going on, how you guys feel. And you must discuss it open and honestly and commit not to pass judgment on each other and blame each other. She knows her body and you know yours. You have to coach each other on what you each like and don't like. The best way to work through sexual problems is by being open and honest with one another and to reassure each other. May I suggest a book? Light Her Fire by Ellen Kreidman. It will give you great insight to the woman's mind and emotion and how she interprets love from the husband. Good luck to you and hang in there!

Answer 4

My husband often leaves on business trips and I never let him leave with a "loaded gun" if you get my meaning. First you must consider why she isn't cooperating. Is it health related? Worries etc...Ask her how she would feel about your method of compensation. Is she offended enough to do something about it? Maybe she is tired from work. Try going to bed before your actual sleep time. Help around the house. Has she recently had a child? This can also contribute to the slack. Otherwise as a woman I say do what u have to barring going outside the marriage but BEWARE internet porn is addictive for a reason.

Answer 5

Guys are visual so your normal there and a high sex drive is a good thing. Brother, I would recommend talking it over with your partner because communication is the key to any successful relationship, with out it your pretty much toast. If your partner is not interested then there is a problem that will only get worse. Take a hard look at what you are doing and what is going on with her. Try being more romantic. Leave her notes, buy her flowers, tell her you adore and love her. Do the dishes, help her clean the house, wash her car. Do stuff that shows her that you are thinking of her and not just yourself. People are selfish by nature but show her and TELL her that you love her and she will want to make love to you more than you will be able to handle. It works, trust me on this one lil' Bro. Take care of her!!! Make sure her needs are getting met!!! Did I already say this works??? Ya it works...

Answer 6

I think instead of looking at porn you should talk to your spouse about your sex life. Maybe your just not doing enough to "spice" things up, as some of the others were saying. Ask her why she doesn't want to do it as much and tell her you would like to.

There are tons of idea's on how you can make things more interesting. Maybe she needs things to be more exciting before she can really get into it.

I would also think that it would be depressing for her to know that instead of being with her you want to look at porn. Or, that instead of trying something with her that is more exciting you would rather just look at porn. I don't know about other women but I would get jealous.

Answer 7

No as long as you aren't watching porn instead of talking to her about this issue. If you don't communicate your feelings towards her & your sex life then things are going to get a lot worse!
Try to find out what her fantasies are & help her to fullfill them. Try to get her more interested in your sex life! If you get her excited about your "adult playtime" then, believe me, it will open up a whole new aspect of your relationship & you are gonna wish you had done it sooner!
Also, do some reading & pick up some knew techniques. Brushing up on your oral & foreplay skills always benefits a couple. Don't tell her though, surprise her! It will make it all the more exciting!!
I do it every so often for my man cuz he's worth it & I love him. You can fix this, you aren't alone on this one. Good Luck Sweetie!

Answer 8

No, it's not wrong, but you should talk with your wife about why she's not willing to be as sexually active as you'd like to be. The best thing is to always go to the source of the problem to get it resolved. If she disapproves of you watching such things, she needs to do her job! There's no reason you should have to suffer just cause she's not putting out. That's one of the perks to being married is the fact you can get it where, when, how you want it. Not to 'hold out' cause you can or for whatever reason. You don't have to watch porn as there are other ways to satisfy yourself sexually, but whatever works for you, go for it!

Answer 9

I know alot of people may tell you.(Talk it out with her) But I know you have already tried that and if it were that easy you wouldn't have asked the question. Speaking from experience its either 2 things. (1) She has interest in someone else/having someone else or (2) The exitement that once was there is gone.(which will eventualy lead to number 1) My advice to you is to start dating, co-workers maybe.What ever works. Dont drag yourself behind her and beg because when you make her feal like you need her thats fueling her. You cant ad nothing else to the relationship to spice it up that isn't already there. Unless you arent scared of the risk of taking viagra........... See other people dude. Start thinking about yourself.

Answer 10

You are not wrong as you are not cheating. You need to talk to your wife and tell her you are suffering. Is she aware you are feeling like this or have you just had a baby or something? There must be a reason for you two not having sex, there is definitely a problem. It would be ok if you didn't mind going without but you do. You may need to go for couple counselling to resolve it.