How is this acceptable? "Boys will be boys" and "men are visual creatures"... bullshit. What, the fuq? Am I supposed to just revel in the joy of being lied to and deceived? All you who basically told me this in my last question, and all who beleive it, can go suck an egg. You are by yourselves on that one.
2006-09-14 03:19:54 · 22 answers · asked by Goddess of Nuts PBUH 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am not married. But I have to say, I agree with you. Coming to this answer board, and reading some of these answers, I come away thinking marriage is all about cheating, lying, porn and threesomes...the "whatever feels good at the moment" attitude makes me sick. And people wonder why the divorce rate is so high. I am not trying to be some "holy roller" or anything like that, but honestly, if you marry someone, do you not promise to "Forsake all others"???? Do people even know WHAT THIS MEANS???? It doesn't just mean keeping your dick in your pants!!!! Geez, screwed up society.................
2006-09-14 03:25:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 2⤋
I had to go back and look at your other questions before answering this ...... seems to me that you have been being lied to and are dealing with feelings of betrayal! That is something completely different than just viewing porn. IT HURTS plain and simple. It is very difficult to rebuild trust once it has been broken down. While, I myself don't find anything wrong with viewing porn in general.....I do find it very wrong for a partner to do when they know that their spouse is uncomfortable with it. Maybe a real good talk might get you some of the answers you are looking for. It is true that men are very visual creatures, but, I think that there are ways to meet those needs without porn. Have a good talk with your husband, try not to be judgmental, and to have an open mind.....It won't be easy, but it could make a world of difference for both your marriage and your sex life. Good Luck.
2006-09-14 03:30:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
While it's clear that you are not asking anything, but are preaching, here's a response anyway. 1) I cannot speak for all men, and neither can you. 2) I can speak for myself, and I condone viewing porn because I find it erotic. 3) My wife no only condones it, she's as big or bigger fan than I am, and we typically view it together. 4) This is acceptable to us. Others, including yourself can accept it or not. 5) Congratulations on your PhD in Psychology, and on your hard work in determining that all men are "visual creatures." 6) considering your obviously foul mouth, it's a bit surprising that you are this sanctimonious. 7) You are welcome to revel in your self-righteousness. 8) If you think you were lied to in your first question, why would you ask it again? 9) While I'm sucking an egg, you can piss up a rope. 10) You are correct, my wife and I do view by ourselves, and don't annoy people with our views on the subject.
2006-09-14 04:05:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I did not comment on your previous post. I am a married woman, and I disagree that pornography is only for single men. I KNOW that men are visual. For me, it would not be the porn--It would be the lying. I don't think I could easily forgive my husband lying to me. And I think 'boys will be boys' is a cop out. I agree with the woman who said people only lie when they're going to be 'in trouble.' I think that if you saw a counselor, they would tell you that viewing pornography is normal, and can be a healthy outlet for any adult when viewed on an occasional basis. Additionally, a counselor would have you ask yourself why this is so offensive to you, because that part is about you. Then the counselor would tell your husband that he breached your trust by deceiving you and then lying to you. This may be the only lie he's told you that wasn't white, but now, you'll have to doubt everything. I feel bad for you that your husband hid things and lied to you, and I feel bad for your husband that he lives with someone so closed-minded.
2006-09-14 03:31:15 · answer #4 · answered by steelypen 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Some people may condone it because they would rather their husband view porno instead of going out and having an affair or sleeping with a prostitute. In their eyes, the consequences of it are less or smaller. I am not sure if that is the case; but I think it is what some think.
Others watch it together as husband and wife--which is an interesting thought. I think that might be dangerous too--just a bit more subtle or in a longer term.
2006-09-14 03:29:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
The problem here seems to be that you are lied to and deceived. If you want the man your are married and committed to not to view pornography that is certainly your right. The fact that some men and women don't see viewing pornography in the same light as you is insignifigant to your issue. What they do is their business, what you want your life to be is yours. What other people feel is appropriate for their relationships is irrelevant to yours. Why do you care?
2006-09-14 03:31:18 · answer #6 · answered by georgietwodogs 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Look at it this way. A lot of men watch porn to full fill fantasies. Lets face it, if you are such a prude that you get mad at him for looking at porn there most likely are a lot of things that you will not do in the bedroom that turn him on. Would you rather him look at porn and have a fantasy or hop in his car, head to his mistresses house and have an affair? And if you are one of those women that say your feelings are getting hurt because he is checking out other women, you need to open your eyes to reality. Men are visual creatures and your man is gonna be attracted to other women cause they all have boobs, asses, eyes ( whatever it is that you man is attracted to.) What you need to realize is that he shows you that he loves you by not acting on those feelings and cheating. He is gonna have those fantasy either in his head or on paper or on the TV screen. Maybe instead of thinking me me me, you should try to understand your man or husband instead of change him.
2006-09-14 04:02:50 · answer #7 · answered by Danny 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I totally agree with you. This whole boys will be boys attitude was started by men and somehow became accepted as the reason for all their wrong doing. And what about bachelor parties ?? I have no clue how women allowed this to occur and it boggles my mind that it is still going on today and is accepted. Men have come up with many ways to do disrespectful things and women just sit by and accept it.
2006-09-14 03:28:24 · answer #8 · answered by JustMe 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
No one said this behavior was acceptable. But if you're approach is an attacking one, 'anyone' questioned as such would lie. It's the nature of our corrupted humanity. If the relationship IS important to you...again express your feelings of hurt (because he has lied to you) and really think this through. You would let one deliberate error destroy how many years of you two being together? Hey, it's not right but at least he was looking at women and not men or animals.
2006-09-14 03:27:29 · answer #9 · answered by MrAlwaysRight 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Read your questions....you've backed him into a corner thats why he's lying. I dont think hes a liar generally. How would you react if he admitted to looking at porn? If you'd freak out and leave him, then you've backed him into a corner and he has not way out. Nobody reacts well to that situation.
1) Guys look at porn. We do. Get over it.
2) If you force a guy to tell you he won't, he's lying to you (mind you he shouldnt lie, that I agree with).
Why would you force him to say that any how? Tell me whats wrong with porn without using the words "its just wrong" or "its immoral"
I'd guess you're just insecure about your body or self-image. Probably told by your parents that sex is dirty
Get over it, he's not gonna leave you for a porn star, any more than he'll leave you for a movie star.
2006-09-14 03:36:20 · answer #10 · answered by SillyQuestion 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋