Why do most affairs for men happen after the children are born?

Question

I don't want to lead any answers so I won't supply any details.

I am surprised that a lot of the answers refer to sex and not attention.

Answer 1

Because you don't have as much time for each other than you used to all of a sudden you have to put a baby's needs before your own. Its about maturity. But I disagree. I think most affairs happen before the arrival of the child, when the woman is pregnant. She is not as sexy to him anymore or he just wants sex & she's too uncomfortable to participate in sexual acts. Whatever...The guy often wanders & finds what he wants elsewhere. It all comes down to maturity. If you can't set aside your own feelings & needs for a while then you are not mautre enough to be having a kid. You know what I mean?

Answer 2

I would have to say there could be many reasons. One reason could be that after the baby is born all the attention is shifted from the man to the child so maybe he is feeling left out. Another reason could be that after childbirth a lot of women suffer from postpartum depression which can cause a women to not do her hair, or clean or want to even take care of there baby let alone take care of her mans needs. Another reason could be that the man is just not attracted to his mate with all the extra weight that the woman carries for a bit after the child is born. These are just a few of the reasons. I will say that whatever the reason that the man cheats, it still is not excusable. That is the time that the man needs to be most understanding and practice the most self control as the woman has been through a lot in the last nine months to give the man a child.

Answer 3

After a child or children are born, the amount of sex decreases and in some cases stops all together. I am the father of 4, so this is from experience (it only decreased for me, never stopped).

It is caused by several things, but the most common one is the demands on the woman's body by the new child, breast feeding being held etc. This continues until the child is at least 3-4 years old.

IMHO most Men cheat for sex, most women cheat for companionship/attention.

Answer 4

The women may not fancy sex for years after kids, maybe not at all in some cases. Also the woman is probably going to be stressed because in most relationships the woman does all the kid stuff and the house work too. Remember then that they have to look after the husband which is like having another child! This leaves her feeling stressed and tired which is never going to get you in the mood! On top of that the man would then probably just want the sex without thinking about the woman because he would just need a release and that would make for rubbish sex for her... which wouldn't make her want it!

Answer 5

Women are generally the care givers, therefore they're busy with the children. Hence, the relationship changes and he begins feeling neglected and seeks out attention somewhere else. If he could only help with the family and communicate more, things would go a whole lot smoother. When you have a family things will no longer be the same.

Answer 6

I think husbands sometimes don't think about the time after the baby is born. A baby needs a lot of attention so the husband is not getting all the attention anymore. I'm not saying that the husbands are jealous, just that they're not ready to give up some of that attention.

Answer 7

After being married for 13 1/2 years and 4 kids, Ilife changes when you have more and more kids. Everything, not just kids have something to do with divorces. There are a million reasons why, but I think the best reason is not enough sex for the men and not enough attention for the women and children. We women have a lot of responsibilties like working, taking care of the kids, house chores, and community work. And what does the men do? work and come home, then expect dinner on the table. After dinner, watch TV and go to bed and expect sex. When the wives said they are going to bed, it takes them hours to get to bed, because they have so much to do. After feeling overwhelmed, sex is the last thing on their mind. So, when a wive reject sex from the husband, the husband thinks she doesn't love him anymore. Then after many rejections, men start to look elsewhere to satisfy their needs. Men are not very helpful with house chores and taking care of kids. Even if they do, it's not to the level that women expect. Men barely shops for their own clothes and shoes. And then they complains that we women spend too much. They don't shop, so they think they don't spend any money. So some men will act dumb so he can do nothing. Do you see where I'm going? They become lazy once they have you to help them. Among the kids, they are the biggest baby Huey. LOL One major thing that can impact a marriage is communication, trust and understanding. Wouldn't you say that I am sick and tired of being sick and tired? Not only do we women have to deal with the kid's attitude but the husband's attitude too? Like I said, every little things just adds up soooooooo big, and you will blow up one day once they hit the red button. Every time a husband disappointed his wife, his wife take one point off from her heart. Once it becomes low or negative, it will be hard to love again.

I recommend anyone to read the book, "The Five Love Languages" to find out what is love to you. Both wives and husbands to read it so both can understand each other, If he or she reads the book and still very stubborn and selfish, then it's a waste of time to live with that person. Because if he/she knows what needs to be show or done to show love to you and still refuse, then that person doesn't love you enough to show respect for your needs. So, men! if your love language is physical touch, you need to help your wife with house chores and the kids so she's not stressed out. Make arrangements for your kids to stay home with the babysitter, and take your wife out for dinner or a mini vacation out of town. The more time you spend with her as a friend, your wife will continue to love you more. All we need is someone we can trust, lean,and shares our feelings. We want our husband's full undivided attention.

Answer 8

Because the girl gives all her attention to the baby instead of the man. Because the girl is going through emotional things and doesn't "put out" like she used to. Because the man gets jealous of the baby because he is no longer #1. Because the man is not faithful or committed.

I think it is a two-person problem. Both the man and the woman have responsibility here; but ultimately it is the man who chooses to have the affair that is in the wrong.

Answer 9

because the wives put the children ahead of their husbands ... while children do need care and tending, when the wives dont involve the husbands in the nurturing of the children and instead seperate the duties of parenting to "provider" and "nurturer" while forgetting to nurture the love between husband and wife, inevitably, he will seek outside the home for what he no longer receives at home ... most affairs are not about the sex, but about the nurturing and companionship that the wife no longer takes the time to give to the marriage. wives forget that their husbands need as much nurturing, support and understanding as they have always received. by maintaining that with their husbands, two positive things will happen ..1) the husband will share the full parenting experience including nurturing his children, and 2) the husband will share responsibility and the family unit is strengthened because of it. by putting the husband ahead of the children, the wife winds up with less work in parenting because the duties are shared between them and the family is closer as a unit.

Answer 10

Because things are no longer the same. Their is another person to share. The old saying three's a crowd. When their is two people , they have each other when a baby is born into this relationship there is less attention towards the original two.