My boyfriend asked me to marry him and i said yes. we dont pal on getting married for at least 3 years so we can finish college. we have told me family and i want to put our engagement announcment in the paper but i can't because he wont tell his parents he doesnt think they will approve or understand that we plan to wait until after school. I'm not trying to be mean and i guess my question is what should i do to be more supportive and can someon explain it to me. i know how he feels (kinda i think) but i dont get it and i need it explained by a third party i guess. so if u have any idea on how he feels let me know so i can understand.
2006-09-14 02:47:33 · 10 answers · asked by adnama_n_werd 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i have met his parents. i love them and they like me too. they act like they love us being together that is why i dont get it. i even offered to tell them myself
2006-09-14 03:03:41 · update #1
and no i need to know why he is so dead set against telling them
2006-09-14 03:04:50 · update #2
Parents have a great influence over their children's lives. I do not see why your boyfriend cannot just explain to his parents that he is engaged and that you are marrying after college. If he cannot stand up to his parents on this, there are other things that he is not going to stand up for. Be careful... if he is spineless when it comes to his parents... I forsee problems in the future. Being engaged is a promise to marry... if he cannot put your happiness before his parents', I do not see a bright future. Are they crazy to the extent that they will not understand the words "We will marry after graduation"? Part of growing up is being able to face tough situations. I think that he should announce it to his parents and if they are uncomfortable with the situation you can all sit down together over dinner or something and discuss it... like adults. It will also put into good practice your ability to face tough situations together.
2006-09-14 03:06:37 · answer #1 · answered by fareen 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is very early to get engaged if you don't plan on getting married for 3 years. A lot of things can happen in that time. I would let him tell his parents in his own time, and you be busy with school and starting to think of how you want your wedding. The paper can wait until you are down to 1 year.
2006-09-14 02:56:26 · answer #2 · answered by ht_butterfly27 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a HUGE step for guys and sounds to me that he's still a bit shy about it. Are your religions different?
What kind of relationship do the 3 of u have w/ his family?
You could also ask them directly about how they'd feel about the 2 of u getting married, this will answer a lot of questions as well as bring up new ones.
The two of u need to stand together on this tho if his family shows resistance. Let them know that you 2 are doing this the smart way, finishing school and then starting a life together.
2006-09-14 02:53:25 · answer #3 · answered by jelli_bean_36 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably just does not want to get the "you are too young to be commiting to just one person and are too young to be getting married speech." The important thing to remember is that he has commited to you and that he believes you are the one he wants to be with for the rest of his life.
I think putting it in the paper is a little premature and you should wait until you set a date and that date get closer. Simply live life the way the two of you would otherwise. Wear the ring he is giving to you, if he is at this time, and rest in the knowledge that he loves you and wants to be only with you.
Congratualtions and may the two of you have many. many happy years together.
Peace
2006-09-14 02:57:29 · answer #4 · answered by Raistliin 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is afraid that circumstances will change in three yrs.And he doesnt want to get their hopes up for a marraige just to dissapoint them later.Or maybe he wants to save all the excitment for closer to the time your getting married.If everyone knows now and has to wait 3 yrs for a wedding it might take away some of the excitment and magic of the real event.And men ;know matter how much they love you ;are always scared to death of the m word.I wouldnt read to much into it.Im sure when the time comes he will be passing out invites himself.good luck God bless
2006-09-14 03:20:48 · answer #5 · answered by melissa_froggies 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems like there are issues he's not telling u or he's ashamed to tell his parents about u talk to him about it and if he still won't tell them then I say dump him and get on living ur life.
2006-09-14 03:02:30 · answer #6 · answered by sarge 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to know why his parents are so dead set against it. have you met them?
2006-09-14 02:49:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does it really matter? Your marrying him not them so just go along with his request.
2006-09-14 02:52:23 · answer #8 · answered by DialM4Speed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Meeet the parents or dump him. There is more to this than he is telling you.
2006-09-14 02:52:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
MAYBE ITS BECAUSE HES KNOWN HIS PARENTS ALL THIS TIME AND HE KNOWS THEY DISAPPROVE WILL BUT IT'S TIME FOR HIM TO GROW UP YOU BOTH SHOULD MEET WITH HIS PARENTS AND TELL THEM YOUR PLANS
2006-09-14 02:54:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋