I know my husband lied to me about looking at some pornos. I found some of them in an attachment, and I did a little work and discovered other places he had been online, and where this stuff came from.
When I confronted him yesterday, he said, "Huh? I don't even know where those came from." In this pitch and tone that he would NEVER use if he was being truthful. Anyway, I KNOW him, and I KNOW he's lying. Who put the pictures up there? A ghost? No one uses this machine but him or myself. I hate this fool right now, because if he'd lie about this, what else is he lying about?
Being that he won't come clean (poor choice of words given the offense) I don't know what I should do now. I am thinking about calling a UHAUL and packing my crap and my kids and moving on. I can do bad by myself.
2006-09-14 02:25:29 · 12 answers · asked by Goddess of Nuts PBUH 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Okay I totally feel you, listen to this, I was in the shower and got out and saw the computer lit up (like someone had just been on it) we have had this porn issue before and something just clicked so I went to the computer and the history had been erased. I went in the living room and asked my husband if he was looking at porn(he always woudl erase the history when he did it) he said he hadn't even been on the computer. I was like the history doesn't erase itself and it was lit up like you were just on it. He says I probally hit the button while getting a lighter off the desk! Yeah right! We fought and he swore he didn't. I knew in my heart that he did but apologized for accusing him. he accepts my apology and goes on to say I have to trust him and i am just imaging things, making me feel like I was crazy or something! So the next morning I get on the computer and the sound was turned down so I started thinking about it again. I went to the deleted files, cookies and saw the exact time I was in the shower he was watching porn! i knew it! I was so angry! How dare he make me apologize and feel crazy! He made me doubt myself when the whole time he was lying! I went off! He finally admitted to it! He had too I caught his ***! I was so hurt! I have even tried to compromise and asked him to not do it when I am there, **** is that too much to ask, obviously it was cuz I would wake up in the middle of the night and catch him in the computer room gettin off! I am in the next room, what's wrong with me. I felt like he was choosing porn over me! Anyway we don't have a computer anymore so those fights have stopped! I hope and pray we never have one again!If we do I don't know what I will do
2006-09-14 03:56:32 · answer #1 · answered by faith 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Darlin, i agree, if he's lied about this, what else has he or will he lie about?
That is not a good environment for you kids, regardless of how old they are. They are still vunerable to parents.
Don't pack up everything just yet as he can lock u and the kids out in a fit of temper.
Be sure to have a copy of the lease/homeowners agreement with you when u go just in case he tries to pull some really low tricks.
It would be good to let him be for a while, let him realize how much he takes advantage of you and takes u guys for granted.
Let him stew in his own juice for a bit, then show up and talk to him.
Ya never know, it may shock him enough to turn things around.
I did this with mine and it worked wonders.
2006-09-14 09:29:44 · answer #2 · answered by jelli_bean_36 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want people to be honest with you, then you have to accept what that truth is. What I mean is, if he'd been honest would you still have gotten upset? You need to ask yourself what makes you more upset. Is it the porn or the lying? When I ask my husband and children a question, I have to be prepared to hear the truth. I found my husband doing the same thing and he came clean right away. I stayed calm and we were able to talk. If I had gotten irate, he would have shut down. (because all I would have taught him at that moment is that he needs to keep secrets from me.) Sometimes the truth is hard to hear, but if you want it you have to welcome it.
2006-09-14 09:49:53 · answer #3 · answered by vitamin D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you do have a problem. his not being truthful and admitting it is a big concern and You would not be ble to trust him with any situation. Dont rush to pack, maybe you should send him packing instead.
HE needs help. If he is doing this it can lead to more serious situations and your family and you willbe the ones who suffer.
I am not sure family counseling would help, How ever If my wife would catch me doing this. Iwouldnt get much of a chance, Iwould be out the door. If this is going to continue,perhaps you need to consider a seperation although I hate to see families split. However as it stands now you cannot believe him.
2006-09-14 09:37:49 · answer #4 · answered by apostle1938 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Question one, how long have you two been married? Q2) Realize that men are visual creatures,. Have you asked him what he finds interesting/exciting about the women in porn. Q3) Have you both been doing the same-ol-same-ol in bed? Q4) Have you asked him if he would mind you watching it with him? Let your investigation include him by doing the 'thing' with him. He may be more apt to tell the truth than lie if you made him feel secure in sharing this hidden activity from you. As long as he hasn't sought gratification from others, then you still have time to 'fix' this.
2006-09-14 10:06:43 · answer #5 · answered by MrAlwaysRight 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
HE LIED because he know, you would react the way you did, flipping out at him, probably like you always do,why can't woman leave use be and stop snooping, then we wouldn't need to hide...you will never get it.....as long as he looks put don't touch,.. so what.....
2006-09-14 10:53:06 · answer #6 · answered by har 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nothing worse than a liar - i would tell him exactly what you told us here & give him a chance to confess and ask for forgiveness. give him one more try if he fesses up, but if he's not man enough to confess then move on - once a liar always a liar.
2006-09-14 09:29:42 · answer #7 · answered by livetall1 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe should just ask him why he was looking at porn, that you just want to know why he would.as for the lieing, its your choice what to do about that, and only you can make that choice.
2006-09-14 09:29:55 · answer #8 · answered by Cobra 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Things could be worst, don't pack up and leave just yet.
2006-09-14 09:31:36 · answer #9 · answered by shonnie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you're overacting, boys will be boys, it's really nothing to them looking at pornos. why don't you talk about it, be open about certain things so he won't lie to you anymore. he lied coz he knows that you don't like it, why dont you compromise
2006-09-14 09:31:21 · answer #10 · answered by dede 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋