we have been together 11 years, married 4 and life is unbearable. He puts no effort into the marriage and always wants to cause arguments. This has been going on for years. I have tried, he says he will try but it is going round in circles. We planned an overseas trip to asia nex month but our relationship has gone from worse to hell. There is nothing to look forward to. We argue everyday and others days we just dont talk. The love has really gone. Its dead. I cant remember what it is like to be happy. I am going to loose $500 on each ticket so $1000 on our flights. Do i loose that or just hack it for the next month and then separate..i am sooo confussed.
2006-09-14 01:49:39 · 14 answers · asked by nat n 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Its worth 1000 not to go....Why suffer????
2006-09-14 01:55:02 · answer #1 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry for your situation in your marriage and I had a similar marriage for more than 20 years. Finally the love is gone and it's a very sad story. But I think, you should separate from your husband for a while and maybe your marriage will be saved after that. Because you both need experience this separation and then maybe both of you will realize that how much you guys loved each other before. So, sometime maybe separation is a good way to try. Good Lucky!
2006-09-14 09:19:06 · answer #2 · answered by Marilyn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't go...I am going through similar problems. My wife and I have been together for going on 3 years and have be married for 1 year and change, and for the last 6 months we have been arguing everyday. There is so much tension in the air you can cut it with a knife. It's so bad she wants to come to my job and try to resolve issues she has with me or just plain get me to talk and I really don't want to deal anymore. I applied for divorce last year and I stopped it, thinking things would work out. Girl cut you losses and go your way and find happiness within you. I do plan to file for divorce soon. Just so you know! I'm done. Peace.
2006-09-14 09:59:32 · answer #3 · answered by tangjuice81 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, go to where you purchased your tickets,if they are non refundable change the reservations excluding his name on the reservation and take soemone else and have a darn good time with your life. If you have put up with as you say you have give yourself a break and a present.Time to evaluate if there really is anything left to the realtionship.
Youare only hurting one person Anf that is you if you keep up with the broken promise's.
Give him the best holiday present you can. a so long charlie.
If he has mad promise's and stil does nothing to improve I doubt any counseling will help. get out of it and get a new life with someone you can enjoy life with.
2006-09-14 09:04:16 · answer #4 · answered by apostle1938 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd happily pay a $1000 to be rid of him if I had to.
However, I would in all likelihood kick him to the curb and take a friend.
Seems like you secretly are hoping that this trip may turn things around for you ...... but don't count on it --- sounds like the relationship is too far gone.
2006-09-14 09:01:12 · answer #5 · answered by cdnponygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey, in light of what you've said, i'd say the $$ just isn't worth it, its not like you'd enjoy yourself anyway right?
Deal with the financial loss, even try to refund the tickets/trip. If u explain the situation, even embelish it a bit, you could at least recoup part of what you paid.
Give it a shot. Then take that $$ and move on!
2006-09-14 08:54:01 · answer #6 · answered by cvs_girl_36 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well rather than lose the $1,000 i would go on the trip.. who knows maybe he won't want to go with you and you can enjoy the trip on your own.
You can still enjoy the trip just ignore his whinning and complaining and go and do what you want to do on this trip.. leave him in the hotel if he don't want to be with you and just enjoy yourself.. and as soon as you get back go and file for divorce.
tell him about it as soon as you have filed.. but if you think he is going to object to it.. wait until after you have packed all of your stuff and have gotten what you need out of the house. then call him and tell him that you have filed.. saves alot of arguing.. and you won't have to get a police officer to get your stuff out.. Wait to get started until he has gone to work.. It shouldn't take but one 8 hour day that he is working to get your stuff that you want.. get your girl friends to help it will go quickly.
When you have accomplished all of this take a couple of days and just be by your self.. this is going to be a major change . and you will need to adjust to it to go on with your life..
depression will most likely set in because you will think why couldn't i make it work..but remember making a family unit work is a two way thing and you did your best it was him that failed you.
good luck.. but ejoy your holiday you deserve it.. weather he enjoys it or not is up to him.
2006-09-14 09:06:37 · answer #7 · answered by Sandy F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go on the trip. Maybe getting away from it all will re-ignite the spark? Otherwise you can go your seperate ways once you get off the plane. Just because you go together doesn't mean you have to hang out together. Don't cancel the trip.
2006-09-14 08:52:36 · answer #8 · answered by MeNTeddy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take the trip. People are different people when traveling. Who knows. You may fall in love again. New places, new things, excitement. Go on that trip. Also, you may never go if you don't go now!
2006-09-14 09:03:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why haven't you tried counselling??? if the love is totally gone, then seperate ... no reason not to take a trip anyway, you dont have to stay together if you want to go see asia
2006-09-14 08:54:55 · answer #10 · answered by casurfwatcher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How much would it cost to get the names on the tickets changed and ask someone else along in his stead
2006-09-14 08:52:02 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋