Yes there are children involved-You have tried for years to work things out,he slams doors,calls you names in front of the children,you have tried your best to get him to quit and act like a father and a husband,but he just wont change,he is unsupportive not only financially but personally,and inside you feel so alone,first would you stay and second what would you do if someone else came into your world that made you feel like a princess-and remember when you answer that you have done your best to make this marriage work
2006-09-14 01:30:45 · 48 answers · asked by TAMMY M 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My guess is 3 people
2006-09-14 01:33:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are no perfect people in this world. Basically its what trait that you can tolerate in a person. This is my second marriage and i do promise there will never be another. My 2nd husband and I get along most of the time. But hes got some issues that drive me crazy. He has a drinking problem and doesn't want to work. Ive had cancer and he lost his job and hasn't worked in a year an a half. I thought that he would take care of me but its the other way around. You just get accustom to the situation or you feel as if whats the point now. Sometimes i guess its just convenient. Who knows !
2016-03-17 21:15:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there, done that. Tried like there was no tomorrow to make things work in my own marriage. I finally saw that it wasn't healthy for any of us involved to continue on the way it was. Not for me, my then wife, and not for my daughter. While I never believed in divorce prior to marriage, living through the things I did in my own made me see that sometimes a persons physical and emotional health is more important than the vows taken. Yes, it's worth fighting for - if you can save it, but your children will always remember how things were as well - and what they see, and hear will help shape their own views of how a marriage should work. Exhaust all of your options first. Seek counseling together, try communicating with each other more and differently. Find something that works, and if everything fails? Plan for the worst. Good luck to you and your family!
2006-09-14 01:40:51 · answer #3 · answered by loving father 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am currently in the same situation, except no children. When I met my wife she was working full time and supporting herself. Within a year of the wedding, she was no longer gainfully employed and I was paying the bills. Although she currently is employed "part-time", she can spend on personal items more than she makes. So I still pay all the bills, both mine and hers. I feel as if I am in a room-mate relationship, but they don't contribute.
I would jump through hoops for a woman that was as dedicated to the marriage and our success as I was. It's not about the money, I wouldn't care how much is made. It is about the commitment and giving 100% to the marriage. I say do what you feel is right. Take it one step at a time until everything in your life is as you want it. It won't happen over night, but it will happen. Anything worth having is worth fighting for. Don't give up on yourself and the kids.
2006-09-14 11:35:33 · answer #4 · answered by rikv77 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you have put in your fair amount of time trying to work on resolution. You have no support what-so-ever so you need to get the paperwork rollin. Not only is your husband's behavior detrimental to you but its gonna affect the children 10 times worst. His behavior might even rub off on your son's in their future relationship unconsciously. If you found somebody to treat you right then go for it, but first get your divorce proceedings started so you wont be guilty or seen as an adulterous. Every woman deserves to be treated like a princess! I'm glad you found a man who makes you feel that way. Also be sure that prince charming is compatible with your children, because 10 times out of 10 they are gonna be with you. Keep your head up and be strong, you can make it through the divorce and continue on with your life!
2006-09-14 01:47:31 · answer #5 · answered by superbad~honeydip 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi I would suggest to you that you go and find your happiness. i am in the same situation without children and for years i have tried and tried. You sound like you have given your marriage first priority so now its time to look after yourself and your kids. You deserve to be happy. Ask yourself this. Do you want to be in the same situation 6 months or a year from now? i bet you say no. Make a move and change your life so you are happy. Don't look back in a year from now and regret not changing your life. Life is short you have to make the most of it and be happy. If you can find someone who will treat you well, you deserve it so go fot it. Do it for you and your kids and be happy. Try to live life and rememer how to be happy again. It is possible.
2006-09-14 01:35:00 · answer #6 · answered by nat n 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If the marriage can't be saved & your relationship has become toxic, then the healthy thing to do - for everyone involved, especially the children - is to get out of it. But, at the same time - don't kid yourself. If a third party has entered the picture, things can get complicated. Do the honest thing - leave your husband - establish of life of your own with your children, get your bearings first, before leaping into another situation. This person who makes you feel like a princess will still be there - if he really cares.
2006-09-14 01:55:41 · answer #7 · answered by Scottie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would walk away from the situation. If he offers you no emotional or financial support then why are you with him? Wouldn't you want to get your children out of this abusive situation as well. If they're boys they run the risk of growning up like their fathr - if they're girls they might think that the abuse is normal and end up in a dysfunctional relationship themselves. Do what's best for you and your kids right now.
As for a new guy in your life, I don't think it's the right time. Walk away from your current relationship and take a minimum of 6 months to be alone so you can figure out who you are and what you really want. Otherwise you run the risk of making the same mistake again.
2006-09-14 01:44:20 · answer #8 · answered by sunssecret 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
From my personal experience, I wouldn't stay in a loveless marriage. Needless to say, a unhappy marriage also effects the children involved. With the scenario you wrote above, this is having a negative effect on them. Needless to say, when I left my ex husband I am seeing huge improvement in my oldest son. It was the best decision I made not only for me but for my son. I would also suggest to go to counseling as well, family counseling for the children to. I did ultimately find the happiness after the divorce...
Hugs from a Loving Mom to a Brilliant, as well as beautiful 8 year old Jared and Our Angel, Zachary (taken to soon but who will always remain in our heart) ~ Mel
2006-09-14 01:35:41 · answer #9 · answered by jaredsmommy2004 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i was in a relationship that sounded exactly like that. I was miserable, and i was always getting cranky at my then 16 month old girl. after a long time REALLY thinking, i decided to leave. yes it was hard, but you know what i put everything into trying to make it work, but he bother. that was 3 years ago, and i am so much happier now and so is my girl.
you really need to think about the situation, cause if you are fighting all the time, and are miserable, is that how to live your life, and do you want your kids to think thats normal. good luck
2006-09-14 01:42:11 · answer #10 · answered by cobstar 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is a key words you used here that I think you should re read again for your self?just pretend someone else wrote this ok?
The key words :you have tried your best to get him to quit and act like a father and a husband,but he just wont change.
I think that is maybe beginning of your trouble right there,
you or your husband should have never ever try to change or try to changed each other but sounds like you have.
You married him because you loved him and liked what he was so why have you tried and tried your best at that to change him?
you have been to him nothing but nagging mom not lover or friend.Now end of your story you were asking someone to help out for saving marriage is why I am writing and pointing out the words I saw it as,
And oh do try your very best to get the kids off of your story.
If you talk to him as in husband and friend and lover really talk to him, I think you might be surprise he too have feelings of want to be treated like prince.
2006-09-14 01:42:43 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋