Without trying to be deliberately controversial, is paedophillia always a bad and wrong thing?

Question

Until the last century, homosexuality was illegal - even considered a form of mental illness. Most of us now know better.

Consider that in the ancient world, slaves were used as the owner saw fit; men women and children - particularly pre-pubescent boys. In the Middle ages in Europe it was not unusual to be married with children by the time you were sixteen and many cultures today still have child marriages. The age of consent in Holland is 12 and in Japan they don't have one.

Obviously there comes a point when all children are too young, but at 11 I would have loved some attention from my French teacher. I probably wasn't suitably equipped for it, but if I had been gay, or female and been had by a male teacher that I'd fancied, it would have been a good, rather than a bad experience.

Presumably paedophillia is a sexual orientation like being straight, bi or gay. As all people are natural animals - maybe it's just society in our current time and place that makes it wrong?

Answer 1

I guess the problems arise with the issue of consent. Whether a child could be considered mature enough to consent to sexual relationships- and if an adult, with their life experience, would be able to manipulate a child into giving it.

Our society rejects the idea that it's possible for a child to consent to sexual relations with an adult- I guess the question is whether or not people's opinions on this could change.

Answer 2

Children are not in a position to judge whether they are ready to have sex - and I doubt that that hardly any would want to anyway.

Paedophilia is wrong for many reasons. A relationship would be abusive as the adult would have too much power and would not actually care for the child - presumably losing interest as soon as they come of age - although the adult may fool themselves into thinking they 'love' their victim. To compare it with consensual sex between two adults of the same gender is not a valid comparison.

Also, the age of consent in Holland is 12 - but only if the elder partner is no more than 4-years older. Avoiding abusive relationships between adult and child.

Sex at a young age can cause serious medical problems such as infertility in women later in life.

I hope that you are just provoking debate and that you dop't think that this is a good thing that society miss judgess. No society accepts murder as an acceptable norm - and this is up there with it.

Answer 3

What about the freedom of choice ?!
When you're at a vulnerable age, or even as an adult a vulnerable stage you might do something you regret, and consider it as a bad choice.
A child has limited perception, does not have sexual maturity (let alone life experience) might be and is usually scarred for life.
One should question why one likes the innocence the child has.
Maybe it's the actual lack of choice that the child has that makes them attractive to the pedophile.

I find it repulsive, there has to be a clear boundary in order to protect them grow into the beings they want - by not messing with their brains and bodies.

Answer 4

I can almost see the logic in what you're saying, but it's warped. Different people mature, both physically and mentally at different ages.

To say that the age of consent in Holland is twelve is one thing, (you're wrong about that, btw) but the way I see it is that if your twelve year old daugter has a little intimate encounter with my twelve year old son, we (as parents) may not be completely happy about it but we're not gonna kill them or each other.

Conversely, I think it would be wrong (criminal) for an older guy to tempt a child with "hello little girl, would you like a bag of sweets/candy".

Children are not dumb, just inexperienced and learning as they walk the difficult path to adulthood. They know there's a difference between boys and girls, but they don't really understand what it's all about.

All kids like being cuddled and kissed - catching a newborn and holding him/her while the nursing staff quickly clean up the inevitable mess before they tell the new mom that she "has a hungry child" - get ready darling...... is amazing.


Please, in the name and sake of anything you consider to be sacred, let the children enjoy being children - we don't get many years of that - any of us.

Answer 5

I understand where you are coming from. However, you would be hard pressed to find a 15 year old who is mature enough to handle a sexual relationship anywhere. Another point to bring up is that in places like Japan and Holland, teen pregnancy is almost unheard of.

In most countries, the sexual age of consent is 18 for good reason. Sex with children is wrong, period. Especially when one person is a fully grown adult who can easily get a partner his/her own age is he/she only tried hard enough. Even when both partners are under age, it is a point of concern because a sexual relationship can really take its toll on someone who isn't mature enough to handle it.

Answer 6

I do understand where you are coming from, I know you are not talking about very young children, or any kind of abuse in terms of physical violence, pornography etc (at least I hope you're not). Of course this kind of exploitation at any level, at any age is totally abhorrent.

But I do think that during your teens you can be capable of making decisions, and it shouldn't automatically be thought of as paedophilia if a 23 year old man were to sleep with a 15 year old girl for example. It depends so much on the maturity of both people.

The problem comes when society sees everything in either black or white - no body is condoning child abuse for god's sake.... I certainly wasn't 'abused' when I first became sexually active but he was older.

Answer 7

I have had a smililar conversation with my boyfriend - in Ancient times children, to all intents and purposes, were classed as adults.

However; the reason today it is wrong, is because it is not, for example, in a legally binding marriage cermony that is commonplace - often these people are deranged and some make indicent images or view them on their PC's, and some will abduct children, sometimes even killing them as well as ... well, being horrible is all I need to say - which is where it stops being an orientation or a lifestyle choice.

Answer 8

How to answer without screaming. Of course its wrong, it is always a bad thing. At what age do you deem to young, We have laws here to respect/protect peoples/children's rights, to do the awful, awful acts that these beasts do can kill a child, can ruin them for life. Look more into your child brides come back and tell me how many of them lead a life. Sold for being a virgin. It is always sick. Slaves, there is a reason these are no more, it is wrong, Middle ages, get with the programme, we have moved on. Next you'll be saying is it OK to commit murder. I can only guess you do not have children. The mare though of my child being touched at any age brings shivers, watching the news when these beasts take and attack children is haunting. I do be live your born this way and that if you do it once you will go back. Our society doesn't make it wrong, it is wrong, having someone bigger, more evil than you saying this should be allowed. You worry me.

Answer 9

You have to see it in a cultural context. Laws and statues don't neccessarily take into account cultural opinions. I would imagine in Holland it would be generally frowned upon whereas in Japan it would be one of those things you go along with in the name of tradition and respect of the old ways. You can't compare the two.
It's a wrong before puberty. Maybe bodychemistry could be used to determine the effect of puberty on the action of the teen. Then they would have to grow up very quickly, get counselling as and where needed and be free to make up their own mind as to wether to have a relationship of any kind with an adult.

Answer 10

There is a difference between homosexuality, slavery and paedophilia. In the latter two someone is being harmed. In the first one noone is causing harm to anyone.

Paedophilia is wrong and I think it will continue to be considered wrong. Of course it's tricky to draw an age limit, age limits will probably keep changing, but molesting a child will never be accepted.