Etiquette?

Question

Isn't it amazing that REAL people are nice and polite but when you get these upper-middle class gits who hate you in the first place, they sneer at you just because you don't know one little bit of etiquette. So, when it boils down to it, they're using the epitome of 'politeness' as an excuse for just being plain rude and obnoxious!

Answer 1

I suppose so. The reality is that they probably don't know etiquette as much as they think they do.

They just think some people are thick enough to believe everything they say on the matter.

Answer 2

Naturally we all want to feel like we are better than other people. And I don't mean this personally, but by stating this, isn't the author then trying to make him or herself feel better than those "upper-middle class gits". Of course we can also conversely argue, that the epitome of politeness is being able to understand without even saying what should be acceptable socially, not only because etiquette dictates it. Hence those "upper-middle class gits" are making boors of themselves by being rude to the offender in question.

Answer 3

Sneering is bad manners so therefore they need to read up on etiquette! They are just using etiquette as an excuse for their rudeness!

I do think modern society needs to brush on etiquette a little. It'd be nice if people could thank each other in another form other than text or email..it's much more thoughtful to send a handwritten note. Opening doors for people etc. And its always good to know the etiquette for events such as funerals where it sometimes can feel like what you do or say could be wrong or hurting somebody. It has its place, but like most things it is mis-used.

Read Lady Troubridge for etiquette, written in the 20s... Its hilarious

Answer 4

Yes, I have noticed this.
Have you ever noticed how some waiters in posh restaurants look down their nose at people who are visiting their establishment and paying for their meal?
I saw this the other evening. A family of four sat down and ordered their meals and were celebrating someones birthday ( I heard them saying Happy Birthday).
One of the children didn't use the correct cutlery so the when the child had finished the waiter said quite loudly "Oh, my god. I'll just go and get you another dessert fork and a butter knife" .
Whilst he was walking away I heard him call the child a cretin under his breath.
Later in the evening I heard him say to the mother "Right, so you used the water glass for your wine? Why would you do that?"
She was mortified and couldn't answer him.
They left their meals and walked out . I don't know if they paid but I hope they did not.
It goes to show that it's not just middle class people who are arrogant when it comes to etiquette.

Answer 5

True in some cases but good manners go a long way. In my opinion no-one is better than me. I don't mean that in an obnoxious way but I really don't think anyone is. I believe nobody has a right to look down on me. If I spoke to the Queen I would still feel the same. Not a good example but hope you get my drift.

Answer 6

I admit that I used to feel inferior to posh people. one day , i placed an advert in the local paper for a gardener. A woman came to my home ,as she had brought her gardener with her , who was looking for an extra day or two's work. i will not forget how she stood in my lovely, but overgrown garden( hence the need for some help), and condescendlingly said, " Yes, I can see that you do need someone.I am not sure that this is what Jabu had in mind."Even though he was uneducated and could not even speak for himself, he stood there ,in his posh tracksuite ,which she must have supplied , and looked about as if he couldn't possibly be expected to work in this garden. I then had a quiet laugh to muself , at how pathetic she was. I decided that she may be better educated and wealthier, but that I would never want to be seen as the same person as her. This was a good experience as it made me realise that I do like myself as I am , and no-one is going to make me feel inferior again. funnily enough , she phoned me a few days later, asking if he can have the position, and I was able to say that it had been filled allready.

Answer 7

I think it was George Bernard Shaw who said something about
'Scoundrels who reside behind manners' ...or something like that.

Anyone who 'shows another up' because s/he knows not a piece of etiquette, is not a Gentleman, or a Lady.

A good counter to this situation is to be bold and to simply but 'politely' (always remain 'polite' or you demean yourself and demonstrate an inferiority in their terms) explain that 'you are unaware of this / that custom.'

Seek enlightenment, always seek enlightenment, it weakens the position of a supposed 'Superior.'

There is nothing wrong with being simply honest.

Regards.
Sash.

Answer 8

Etiquette, basically are manners, so if you are offending people you probably are not showing any manners toward them. Lack of knowledge in etiquette shouldn't be use to justify lack of manners. With all of that said I do get what you are saying and some people are just plain freakin' snobby with or without your knowledge of etiquette!

Answer 9

Strange question because you seem to align yourself with 'Real People' implying that you consider yourself "low class". You clearly have internet access and use words such as 'epitome' - even if its used out of context, I dont believe that you are lower or even middle class, you appear to be definately one of the "upper middle' class.

Its wrong to say that lower class people dont have etiquette, they do...just hide it well!

Answer 10

Manners cost nothing and people with manners teach others who don't have them politely but with no malice. People who are higher up in the social ladder don't necessarily have manners in the first place because how else would they have got there except for queue jumping, enough said I think.

Answer 11

Ah, but can't you see why we're a little bit prejudice about you? My earnings are taxed, then my savings are taxed, then when my parents die I am taxed a lot more, then when I die my children are taxed even more still. And it all goes to you, the little boys that sit on street corners waiting for someone to go past so they can spit on them, the familys that constantly go back to the counil complaining that their house needs a new kitchen, the bums that have never gone to work in their lives. Can you see why we are a little weary of you?