he is a nice person otherwise but when i tell him it upsets me,he can't stop and tells me it's no big deal.he makes fun of my weight as i put on 50 pds after my two babies in 3 yrs.i feel rejected and am losing confidence in my looks.i am working on losing weight but i need appreciation from him to feel confident in front of him.i am otherwise a confident person but i feel he pulls me down at times and then i cry.i don't know how to handle him and make our relationship better.any advice?
2006-09-13 23:11:43 · 19 answers · asked by fana28 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
WOW! tough question!
Confidence-
you look in a full length mirror- do you like the person you see?
If not change the things U do not like- in this world we really only have to please ourselves.
Him looking! this is normal!
Weight-
You dont say how much you weighed before you got pregant
average for woman is 115-120 pounds so you weigh , what 170
This is enough that your doctor would be concerned as you would be in the class of morbidly obese
If you do not like it,(which is obvious from your statements) there are ways to lose it- IF YOU WANT TO!
Lastly
His actions- if he truly loved you he would be supportive of you
2006-09-13 23:44:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anarchy99 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U said he is a nice person but at the same time u dont feel happy cos he does not admire u; i want you to be very careful so that u will not ruin your marriage; Men dont usually tell the person they Love how they feel about thier body; am sure he does not want to encourage u because he does not want u to feel bad about it; so no need for concern let me ask u:
-does he still make love with u
-does he still take u out
-does he love the children
-does he still help u sometimes(domestic things).
if he does all this then it means hestill loves u but u can still go on doing the weight loss one day he will tell u he as ever loved u the way u look everyminute and mind u all men admire other women apart from thier wives and for someone like him that does not hide that means he might not even be sleeping with them so dont fume over nothing; u are the best woman for him ; Good luck.
2006-09-13 23:24:31 · answer #2 · answered by segsky 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You don't need his appreciation. What you need is to quit feeling sorry for yourself and get up and do something about it. If you walk around feeling the way you do about yourself, he won't want to give you any appreciation or a second glance. You are in control of YOU. Why don't you go and join one of those places that offers toning tables. It is a great way to start on a program that is really low impact and with proper diet, you will see changes very quick. Loving yourself is the most important thing of all. If you have low self esteem, the whole world knows it. Get active and learn to love who you are and others around you (especially your husband) will come around! Good luck!
2006-09-13 23:26:15 · answer #3 · answered by swtz69drmz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's affecting your self confidence then it IS a big deal. Talk to him, tell him how his actions and comments make you feel and express to him how serious this is to you. If he continues to act this way (and don't believe that he can't stop, every person has the ability of self control and to think before you speak) then maybe you could seek counseling to help you both understand each other. Either way this is considered emotional abuse and can lead to more serious problems that can affect you forever. Take it seriously and talk to him about how you feel! Good luck!
2006-09-13 23:22:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have obviously not received your husband's message that you need to make an effort to reduce weight! Therefore he's using other women to give you that message. He was even direct with you regarding your weight and you've already guessed it.
Since you are making an effort, continue with it. Why do you need him to encourage you? Can you strengthen your resolve and do it even without his encouragement?
Your husband was obviously attracted to you physically before your marriage, and somehow you have not developed your other aspects of relationship to strengthen your ties. So he's still affected by your physical appearance.
Suggest you discuss with him what he wants from you. Only when you are both comfortable to accept each other's weaknesses that your relationship has grown for the better. Be sincere and truthful to each other and not hide discomfort.
2006-09-13 23:45:26 · answer #5 · answered by G.T. L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sweetie i know what you are talking about my hubby did the same thing, and i started turning the tables i lost some weight did my hair wore make up every day never let my husband or any one else for that matter seen me looking scruffy and i started looking at other men, and they started looking at me.
My husband stop immediately and has not once looked at anyone like that again
just remember you can't expect your husband to look at you the way you want him to look at you if you can't look at yourself that way!
do you still look at your husband that way?
i am going through a rough patch with my hubby, but today i have learned a couple of tricks from the people that answer my question. Love yourself first before you can be loved.
start looking at him, tell him how wonderful he looks or smell teach him to compliment you!
Good luck my sweetie
2006-09-13 23:30:11 · answer #6 · answered by sweet - angel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, we all look.....but he married you, he admires you everyday.....he just doesn't have to put that admiration's into a 3- second passing....he has you everyday of the week...every week of the year.....He is cruel for making fun of you....he should be encouraging you to lose the weight, and help you....but he is a man....and that makes him generally childish....chill out a bit....have fun with the children and him....and worry less about his visual stimulation, and take advantage, and give him the physical stimulation
2006-09-13 23:30:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think of you should focus greater on your job and supply up leaping to conclusions approximately human beings you do not understand. And gossiping approximately them. And predicting their habit. it is not approximately you, you recognize. once you're a delightful individual, merely smile and say hi once you spot her. She may be shy, she may be focusing on a paintings challenge - you have not any thought. it is not approximately you. do you pick to be friends for any reason different than she "feels like a Goddess?" i've got observed that various human beings right here think of others are watching them or their friends. i won't understand this. do not you have something greater valuable to do than notice who's staring at whom, if certainly they're, which they probable are not? Why do you care if others do not walk around all day with ridiculous grins on their faces for no reason? Shy human beings are shy via fact they're shy. great-friendly human beings are that way via fact they're that way. provide up examining each and everything. you're getting it incorrect besides. ETA: I wasn't touching on YA as gossip. i became touching on you discussing this female with the "very stylish" coworker, and examining her. you do not come throughout the time of as somebody in a position to make astute observations approximately human beings.
2016-10-14 23:54:38 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow..tough one. i would have suggested talking to him, but you already are doing it. Well hun, two can play that game....start noticing other men, flirt alittle....if he says anything, ask him how it feels to have the shoe on the other foot! God luck with your weight lose, but do it for you not for him...doing it for him is a sure way to failure and being unhappy. Always put you first in that situation.
2006-09-13 23:16:11 · answer #9 · answered by Firefly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Mam problem here is to consell ur partner but for you my best suggestion is be with him when he needs ur more .In mean when he is frustated listen him, when he needs u at night , make sure ur act the best according to likes
2006-09-13 23:17:55 · answer #10 · answered by sm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋