If I get any wise-a55 responses or remarks they will be flagged as abuse.
When I am with my husband the only way I can reach orgasm is if I fantasize and concentrate really hard on almost violent images.
Most the times they involve images of women together, sometimes men, usually in violent sexual acts.
I've wondered if I was a lesbian, as it's the only way I can climax, but I'm not attracted to women.
I love men and everything about them and find them sexy, but women do nothing for me.
So why do I need to think about women to climax? Or violent sex? BTW, I almost never put myself into the situations I'm fantasizing about. It's more like I'm an observer...
NO JOKE: NO CRAPPY JUVENILE ANSWERS FROM HORNY 15 YEAR OLD BANGLADESHIS
This is serious for me, so respect that.
2006-09-13 22:58:49 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I've read several answers so far and I wanna say how much I appreciate all you've written.
AS for counseling, well, I'm working on it and I'm also on anti-depressants (which also decrease the libido..yay).
I have an appointment with a sex therapist coming up (no pun intended!)
2006-09-13 23:14:35 · update #1
Get you husband involved in a little role play!
2006-09-13 23:05:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anarchy99 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like maybe you have a fetish. S & M is a fairly common fetish (sadism/ masochism). If you don't necessarily want to do these things then maybe it's a kind of voyeristic sadism. If you imagine the women as kind of being in place of you.. like relating to how it would feel that would be more masochistic or maybe submissive. Fetishes can occasionally be very specific depending on the person, and *sometimes* have deep psychological reasons for being there. Just look up fetishes, look up s/m and don't be ashamed as long as it doesn't make you do anything you would normally deem immoral or wrong. Maybe do some LIGHT experimenting if your husband is up for it (hair pulling, bum slapping, dirty talk, whatever) everyone has a comfort zone and a lot of people like a little pain with their pleasure.
2006-09-13 23:15:46 · answer #2 · answered by Moxie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A fantasy, however violent it is, is just a fantasy. So there is no need to worry. However, if, in order to get orgasm, you need fantasize about increased violence, you may need help.
Second, fantasizing about lesbianism does not make one a lesbian. A serious self-dialogue, and use of creative music could help to change the scenarios you fantasize about. However, this requires a little patience and practice. If you masturabte, you could use different scenarios for fantasizing with a pleasing background music, until you orgasm. This way, you could condition your mind. However, its a choice you have and is not compulsory at this stage. I hope i have clarified. I used to have similar issues. My personal fantasy used to be rape.
2006-09-13 23:10:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't sound like anything out of the ordinary to me, it's just what turns you on enough to reach orgasms. Don't worry about what others may think of your fantasies since they're just that, fantasies. Even if you were to decide to live them out some day then that's fine too....as long as the other people are consenting to it as well.
Unless you really dont like the fact that those scenarios turn you on, there should be no need to counseling or meds.
2006-09-13 23:38:58 · answer #4 · answered by zooba 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a psychological malfuntion to me, but I too have some sexual difficulties when I'm with a lover. So far, just them being there with me inside them just doesn't cut it, so I picture raunchier, dirtier sex in my head... maybe too much porn, but I've only climaxed twice while having sex, it took me 2 straight weeks of sex every night with my first love to *** and even then, I had to consentrate and focus soley on orgasming. So it seems we're in the same pickle... maybe we need help... or maybe we just need to step up our sex lives a notch or two. Good luck on the sex thing...
2006-09-13 23:09:51 · answer #5 · answered by mopar-man 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing weird about your fantasize it what makes you orgasm and also makes you human we all have them men and women. So if its not causing no harm in your relationship with your husband then don't worry about just let go and enjoy.
2006-09-13 23:06:09 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is an attraction to sexual violence regardless of the sex involved. Sadism and masochism are common sexual fantasies and too often acted out. Enjoy as long as no one is being hurt.
2006-09-13 23:03:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well baby, i am exactly like u. it's like u were describing me. whe i visit porno site to get orgazm i always watch threesoms with 2 women and one man or some violent sex. i fantasize about violent stuff all the time. but unlike u i would really try sex with a woman, but i don't know how to get hooked with a woman. i also wish i could see my husband fu''cking a young virgin. i really don't know why is it happening with us, but i think we should go into action. i have never been with a woman but i want to (probably)
2006-09-13 23:05:44 · answer #8 · answered by jacky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well why dont u tell ur husband ur errogeneous zones and help him to make u reach ur O.....sometimes it so happens that one fantasises about violent things to reach an orgasm...its not wrong..
as long as u r enjoying it and its not harming anyone...such kind of fantasizing wont harm ur love life...but u do need to teach ur hubby how to make u respond....and thinking and fantasizing about woman doesnt make u a lesbian!!
all the best.
2006-09-13 23:03:38 · answer #9 · answered by v v 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry, just so long as you can reach orgasm and nobody not even your husband needs to know what you are thinking at that time. If he ask you just boost his ego by saying that you are thinking of him.
2006-09-13 23:03:55 · answer #10 · answered by ancalagon2003 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋