As shallow & superficial as this will sound but i just want to know your thoughts on this. I am 24 & in a long term relationship with my boyfriend and its pretty much marriage material. The thing is that I am not really physically attracted to him but I think I do love him..I mean, what is love really??..I think the reason I'm staying is because I don't really want to go back into all that dating/single drama again. And also he is financially very well off which is something i guess all women want.. I don't want to be worried/stressed about bills/morgage payments etc in the future. I don't think I believe in love. I think if you stay with a person long enough you will grow to like (love) them..I know i sound cynical/pessimistic/stupid even..but thats how i feel. But I do have brothers who I would give my life for..I guess thats Love..When you will give your own happiness for another? What are your thoughts/advice on this? Anyone in the same situation? Or have been where I've been?
2006-09-13 21:15:15 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Thanks for answering aussie..Very insightful & thorough
2006-09-13 21:51:28 · update #1
In my experiences with romance, I have learned that there is a physical difference between true love and so-so love. Infatuation is often confused with true love, but what people don't realize is that it is actually the most corrupting love. For example, a man and woman share very strong intimate feelings for one another, soon leading to obsession and reliance. Simple acts such as hand holding and kissing have become extreme moments of pleasure, and the lovers become infatuated with each other. Do you consider that true love? Surprisingly, that situation is definitely not true love, but pseudo, schoolboy love. In order for one to know whether or not the love is true, consider how calm you are instead, how protecting you are instead of desiring, how promising your relationship is rather than how you never spend enough time with each other. It is only then that people realize that their relationship can transcend in calmness, rather than excitement. Calmness leads to attatchment, while excitement leads to boredom and corruption. I hope that answers your question on the definition of true love, so let us apply this to your relationship. First of all, are you ready for marriage at 24? Perhaps you should wait and figure out if you really want him for him or his finances. Also, if you are not physically attracted to him, you may not experience infatuation, but you will experience boredom and hesitation in intimacy. Moreover, the drama of dating and single life is not something to dread, but to revere, as it helps you get to know yourself and what you really want in someone. There will always be plenty of potential lovers. Again, make sure you are not engaging in marriage purely for the money, that is another element of corruption. Finally, time in an engagement does not necessarily mean an increase in love. In fact, even the most healthy relationships may dwindle due to lack of intimacy or attention. There is also an enormous difference between love for a brother and love for a husband. For a brother, you are willing to give up your own happiness. For a husband, you both must share happiness and sorrow equally for true love to be true.
2006-09-13 21:46:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
oh man I am kind of going through this. There is this guy who treats me like a queen exactly what we are taught we should look for in a man but I am still lookin for someone who gives me goosebumps and butterflies in my stomach. I want the challenge or chase. Girl I wish I knew how to just want what is good. Great question. I am passing up this perfect man for something I haven't even found yet. I think all the time I will regret letting him go later but I still want that person who just gives me chills. Does not make any sense.
2006-09-13 21:24:05 · answer #2 · answered by pyt_tlc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
find out what u really want. Some ppl look for true love and some ppl look for security - financial wise and of cos a man who loves u.
u want to look for true love, u will have to face all the dramas of dating before u finally found one. if u are happy to settle with this current bf then go for it.
i think he's the man u need, but u are unsure whether to find the man u want.
2006-09-13 21:24:13 · answer #3 · answered by UltimateKitty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have found true love, it's something that lasts for a life time. It's loving someone for what he really is, no matter his financial status. But everyone must make his/her own decisions in life.
2006-09-13 21:27:41 · answer #4 · answered by Mira 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree with you totally there. some may not agree but a lot of arguments do stem from financial problem. this is not to say rich ppl don't have problems like extra marital affairs etc. but the simple logic is you have one less thing to worry or argue about. you have a mature way of thinking. good luck.
2006-09-13 21:20:02 · answer #5 · answered by Yvette R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi!
true love is what when you feel love for a person within. you said 'you think you love him' first be confirm form yourselves. and dear going into any relationship you have to understand that relationship by different means and way. In lover affairs you have to date him, excuse me by date i don't mean physical to him.
2006-09-13 22:51:06 · answer #6 · answered by priya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i once was there and realized it was not fair to the other to be there for the wrong reasons. since then i was lucky enough to meet my true love. i know its real because i can not imagine a day without her in it.
2006-09-13 21:28:49 · answer #7 · answered by space_cowboy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him, either you know you love someone or you don't. This guy and his money isn't enough to make you love him and it's really that simple.
2006-09-13 21:20:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
mothers love is a true love .(heartful)
lovers love is a give and take (mathematics)
2006-09-13 21:20:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
love is true when you really feel it...and it's all up to you..hell, it took me 2 years to realise how much i love my boyfriend.and it's an amazing feeling, love...
2006-09-13 21:21:34 · answer #10 · answered by banzaiii 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋