I had an affair and it ended 6 mths ago and my partner has forgiven me after we talked about why it happened and what happened.
I love my partner but i can not get over the guilt of what i did.
Have others had affairs and just put it behind them? Can you ever forgive yourself to stay with your partner you cheated on?
Please help, i dont know if i should just leave.
2006-09-13 19:51:19 · 8 answers · asked by Sara 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i am in councillling and have really learnt a lesson, just dont think my partner deserves someone who could do that to him.
2006-09-13 19:57:01 · update #1
You are not a perfect human being. Ask God for forgiveness.This will lighten your load. forgive yourself for what you have done. `Til then..you ca experience true peace.
2006-09-13 19:58:42 · answer #1 · answered by maconsolviaa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have answered your own question...Your partner deserves someone to honor the commitment and love him like he deserves. And ya know what, you also deserve to be in a relationship where you too are fulfilled and don't feel the need to risk loosing your relationship. There are many kinds of loves, but the kind of love that lasts a lifetime is the kind of love that you should not be willing to risk loosing. You cheated and risked loosing your partner; therefore you must not be fulfilled in some way. Cheating is only a symptom of a bigger problem that exists in a relationship. Find out the problem, do your best to try and fix that problem, then you will be able to walk away knowing that you did the best you knew how. Your partner has forgiven you, but you know he'll never forget, and unfortunately for both of you, you won't either.
2006-09-13 20:32:06 · answer #2 · answered by Cynthia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I don't think you should leave, unless that's what you want. You need to think carefully about how you feel. Is it just guilt that is preying on your mind, or is there something else there? Why did you cheat - were you unhappy with your partner? Are you back with him/her because you're really in love, or because you can't face the thought of how hurt they'd be if you left?
Remember feeling sorry for someone is no reason to spend the rest of your life with them.
If you are in counselling and your counsellor is not able to help you with this question, then you need to change your counsellor.
The important thing to remember is, this is your problem alone. You must never remind your partner of what happened, even if you are just apologising for it. It's history now so don't open old wounds.
2006-09-13 20:44:39 · answer #3 · answered by Kylie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to break the news to you, but its not guilt at all you still like this person and you probably still think about it now and then, be honest with yourself you are an intelligent man either get over it because she has forgiven you or get out and leave...but before you go be honest with her and yourself and let her know you still have feelings for this person..................just be honest! with yourself. Tell her the truth.
2006-09-13 20:01:58 · answer #4 · answered by Dr. Phill klueyain Jr. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We're just human and people make mistakes. For as long as you have truly accepted that what you did was a terrible mistake and you are sorry for it, then be thankful that your partner has forgiven you.
2006-09-13 19:58:04 · answer #5 · answered by marisu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right now your guilt is your punishment. You can forgive yourself and put it behind you. Learn from this and never repeat it. Leaving will not solve anything, facing it will.
2006-09-13 19:55:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are doing the right thing in counseling. I believe you just need to forget it and move on. If you cant then youre only cheating yourself...good luck.
2006-09-14 05:57:44 · answer #7 · answered by Johnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave the past and work for the future !
2006-09-13 19:55:43 · answer #8 · answered by handsomedev2001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋