2006-09-13 19:36:01 · 45 answers · asked by Desert Sienna 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
First freak out, then deal with whatever came up...
2006-09-13 19:47:12 · answer #1 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would try to imagine myself in her shoes before talking to her. If you could do that, you would know she could be ashamed to tell you, afraid you will be angry, or worse, disappointed in her, and any array of other emotions. She is sixteen and old enough to get herself pregnant, so I would talk to her and ask her what she wanted to do about it, then go over what her options and plans are. I would try desperately not to be angry with her, but I would tell her what I hoped she would do, whatever that is for you. I would tell her my experience being a mother and a wife. I would really want her to know every thing she needed to know to make a decision. At least I hope that is how I would behave. I might just cry!
But I am one of those people who also believes that if you are in love at an early age, why wait? Get married, have the children early. By the time you are 40 they are grown and you can still have a great life. I think society holds teenagers back from starting their lives. In other countries, women get married and have babies young. Only in America is it frowned upon. Perhaps because we have more financial and educational opportunity here, but who really gets to take advantage of it.
There are so many women in their 30s now who have never been married and don't have children and the clock is ticking and they can't find a husband. What to do?
If she's in love, and he's in love, and the situation looks good from your own experience, support her, encourage her to start her life. If it looks bad, the father isn't around or doesn't love her, or the situation would prevent her from starting her life, then perhaps you could encourage her to consider other options within your religious beliefs.
Just try to think of how you would feel if it were you coming home to your mother, and try to treat her as you would like to be handled in the same situation at her age.
Good Luck.
2006-09-13 19:48:24 · answer #2 · answered by Instant Justice 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'd be honest and let her know how hurt and disappointed I was that she hadn't trusted me enough to ask my advice before having sex. Then I'd put my arms around her and tell her I loved her and I will be there for her.
I'd set up a prenatal exam and request that she be tested for HIV and STD's since she was having unprotected sex. I'd expect her to carry the child to term and finish school, so I'd facilitate that in the most comfortable way possible for her. I'd contact her high school counselor and set up an appointment to see that person together.
I would then want to have a face to face with the boy and his parents. Hopefully, the two families could work out what should happen with the baby.
I'd pray and support my child who is still a baby herself. If she wanted to keep the baby, I'd support that, but she'd have to do the majority of the work. I'd fill in where I could, but not disrupt my schedule to raise my grandchild. I'd enroll my child in Parents Too Soon and make sure she had a real plan for birth control that would work effectively for her after the birth.
2006-09-13 19:54:21 · answer #3 · answered by Chris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The issue here is that of avoiding a situation like this. But since you little girl is already pregnant there are not as many options of things that you should do now. The fact is that your daughter is pregnant. What you need to do now is to support her the best way you can and be more loving and tender. She needs you and your love more than ever before.
2006-09-13 19:47:16 · answer #4 · answered by ccapetanios 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would ask her what she wants me to do. It is important to find out what her expectations are from you as a per ant and what she wants from the boy. Do not blame shift or try punish her as it will cause a gap in communication between you and her. She is now at a all time low. Be there for her. Get hold of the boy or his perants and put together a plan to help prepare for the baby. His family must be made aware that they will have to contribute financially and morally. If they wont fine but make sure you do not make the same mistake. Good luck my friend. You are going to be tested to the limit with this one.
2006-09-13 19:41:59 · answer #5 · answered by Charles Athole M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I came home 17 pregnant and scared. My family was very calm, being a young mother is scary. You need love and support to help you grow up and be reasonable for the life you brought into the world. Gods plan is different for every one, my daughter saved my life.
2006-09-13 19:44:33 · answer #6 · answered by Missy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will just have to accept the fact that it is your daughter in the situation and you will have to accept the situation whether you like it or not. Your daughter needs your support now, more than ever, especially if the father of the child is likewise a minor and may not be emotionally and mentally prepared for the responsibility. Make your daughter feel that you are behind her journey towards motherhood and you will just have to stay with her until she is no longer a minor and can make decisions for herself. God Bless.
2006-09-13 19:41:16 · answer #7 · answered by marisu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be supportive .. be there for her and let her know whatever she decides she has a home and a family that supports her. Its a tough situation for any child to be in.. especially when your young. School is still very important and needless to say its something she should still continue to do.. if she is going to keep the child, then needless to say she will need to have a good career to support the baby. Especially as time goes by.
Hugs from a Loving Mom to a Brilliant, as well as beautiful 8 year old Jared and Our Angel, Zachary (taken to soon but who will always remain in our heart) ~ Mel
2006-09-13 19:37:58 · answer #8 · answered by jaredsmommy2004 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
actually, it should not happen at all, if you are a friendly mother. right from the beginning mother should play an important role by being a dear friend of her daughter, this situation would never arise at all. however, if my sixteen year old daughter comes home pregnant, i will ask her to prepare herself for delivery also on her own. this will be my first reaction. may be, as months pass by i will prepare myself to be a good grandmother. most importantly, i will see that my daughter gets married with the same person who has put her in that position, if that doesnt work, i will ensure that my daughter completes her education and settle herself in a nice career ahead for the betterment of the whole family.
2006-09-13 19:45:56 · answer #9 · answered by shankari n 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I would be there for her I would love her and support her and be there since I would be needed the most I got pregnant when I was 17 and my mom and dad were there for me through everything I wouldn't get mad at her because I have been in that situation but also I want my daughter to know I am always here for her and she can tell me everything I don't want my daughter ever to be scared to tell me something I want her to know she can talk to me I don't ever want her to be scared to talk to me I want her to always be open with me one thing I can say is I wouldn't allow an abortion I don't believe in that and if she wouldn't want it I would save that baby by taking care of it myself no innocent life should be taken I have two girls 2 and 4 so I don't think I need to worry yet *lol*
2006-09-13 19:44:16 · answer #10 · answered by blondeqtwitanicebooty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would definitely not put her throw the trauma of aborting her child! u are her mother..she did a mistake but is ure duty of parent to love, support and never harm her no matter how wrong she is! if she wants abortion i say u should know better what the consequences might be and talk her out of that idea by letting her know that her child will be loved and wanted in ure family and ill have it with joy coz is part of her! u don't have to make her feel guilty ore low for what happened..with u on her side she has all the chances!!
2006-09-13 19:49:00 · answer #11 · answered by dafneeselena 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋