Do you
1) talk to her directly about it?
2) beat around the bush? (no pun intended)
3) ignore it and leave it alone?
I ask because a supposedly straight girl at work has had my gaydar pinned at 100% since day 1. I'm not interested in her as a girlfriend, but I just want to know what's up with her without offending or making her feel uncomfortable. She has at least one lesbian friend, but she's implied that she's not completely comfortable with it. She is married and has children, but I don't think I'm wrong about her inclinations. I have not outed myself to her as of yet, since I've only known her for a short while. What would you do?
2006-09-13 18:51:17 · 25 answers · asked by WEIRDRELATIVES 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
But why would casually mention the Logo network to me, and her lesbian friend's gf if she doesn't want to talk?
2006-09-13 19:25:14 · update #1
Also, our workplace is not exactly a gay-friendly environment, so you have to be careful who you out yourself to.
2006-09-13 20:00:04 · update #2
It would probably be best just to leave that alone. It sounds like she's happily ignorant and married, so just let her live her straight, normal, boring life.
If you end up working with her for years and bond a little, you might be able to open that subject. Or if she's hating the life she's living and seems to not really be into the whole straight thing, then maybe delve into the subject. Just leave the subject alone for now. Most jobs are bad enough without adding some sort of awkwardness to it.
2006-09-14 04:10:10 · answer #1 · answered by carora13 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm not a member of the gay community but I must ask - why is it so important that you "know" which way she goes? I mean, while you may be comfortable with who you are, maybe she's still figuring stuff out... maybe she is just not into talking about it. Let her have her safety zone where she can flirt with women but say she's straight... just for a little while.
If you decide to let her know you're gay, don't make it some serious converstaion. I would just let it drop like it's the most normal thing in the world and very casually. Then she'll feel more comfotable if she's gay herself. You don't want a cofrontation "Yo, are you gay or not?" - that's not good, haha.
2006-09-14 01:58:17 · answer #2 · answered by trash1ey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a straight girl and have had an enormous amount of woman find me attractive for some reason. I am in no way and shape or form homosexual so I do not have a problem with it at all. If it makes you uncomfortable though, you might want to casually bring it up. I'm sure it wouldn't be the 1st time someone asked her.
2006-09-14 01:59:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anais 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Straight foward is the best way to anything. Beating around the bush wastes alot of time and may cause pain, depending on the situation.
2006-09-14 01:54:37 · answer #4 · answered by ThAt Qt WuD B Me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish I could get a vibe about people like that. I have no gaydar at all (or it seems that way so far).
In regular conversation, just drop a hint, big or small. Make a remark like "my ex-girlfriend did such-and-such", perhaps?
2006-09-14 03:15:56 · answer #5 · answered by ChiChi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Invite her out for drinks after work. Then just tell her there has been something on your mind. Tell her that you don't mean to embarrass her or offend her in any way. Then ask her is she is bisexual or lesbian.
2006-09-14 09:52:24 · answer #6 · answered by Q~T 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about it. You are at work. If you want to out yourself to her, then go for it. If not, just do your work. Sounds like she is looking for a juicy story or may want to live her lesbian fantasies through you.
2006-09-14 03:39:59 · answer #7 · answered by PROLADY 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Out yourself why hide for!! simple just leave it alone perhaps her family wouldn't of been accepting and she is in a unhappy marriage. who knows all you can do is leave the people alone who don't seem to want to discuss it.
2006-09-14 01:54:46 · answer #8 · answered by angelic_devil30 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello Weird, The best thing is to ask her directly,don't beat around the bush.That way you will know one way or the other.
Clowmy
2006-09-14 02:32:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but I would have to go with your number 3. Leave it alone
Because she's most likely tooooo straight.
2006-09-14 01:54:24 · answer #10 · answered by LVieau 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋