my ex fiance and i broke up 3 months ago, we have known each other 10 years, we were friends then in a relationship for 4 yrs, although his ex has custody, his two girls and I became very attached, we broke up once and even then he wanted me to stay in touch with his girls, their mom loves what I do for them and also wants me to stay a part in their lives, recently he has become very bitter and angry, he told the girls mother and me he doesn't want me to stay in contact with the girls, they are 5 and 8 they still continue to call me frequently, their mother does not want me to stay away, this is very difficult because I do love them, and I don't want to hurt them, he will have a fit if he thinks I m talking to them, or seeing them, I have tried to distance myself, but they still call, so far I just keep it to myself I don't want to hurt them. Will he ever get past this anger. The mother has custody, as long as she lets them call, is it wrong for me to be there for them.
2006-09-13 18:37:36 · 5 answers · asked by snickerdoodle 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Why not, they love you and you them right?
2006-09-13 18:40:26 · answer #1 · answered by wanttolpve 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are in a pickle here! It won't be easy for a while and that is tough on you as I read your words and into your words, the sadness that is currently present. We men can be so ignorant at times. I guess I would stay in contact with the mother for now, because the guy can't tell their mother who she can talk to(you) and perhaps you can work out a way to occassionally see them like out in the town when the mother might mention where she might be with the little ones, and if you happened by, then, ..."what a nice coincidence that all of you might cross paths someplace once in a while." (Grocery store) No big deal for occasional meetings, though if the guy has issues with you at this point, until some time passes and he can maybe lighten up, you probably won't get nearly the time together you all were used to. Just try for a little time as best you can for now, and the kids will know you love them, but you cannot upset the apple cart by adding to the issues between the mother and the guy. Hope it works out for you and you all can live in peace...and of course the love! I think the mother will think like you, so....
2006-09-13 18:57:31 · answer #2 · answered by John L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is hard because you have no legal standing with the children.
If the mother doesn't want you to stay away, they why do it. The children did nothing wrong. However, you have to be prepared for the day that one day there will be a new man in your ex's life who may not be so happy with you seeing the children.
2006-09-13 18:39:55 · answer #3 · answered by sarah071267 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With them being 5 & 8, it sounds like their dad is already using them as a pawn with you.
As long as their custodial mother, you, and the girls are all happy with the arrangement... go for it; as long as it's best for the girls!
2006-09-13 18:52:13 · answer #4 · answered by ♫☼♥ ≈ Debbi ≈ ♥☼♫ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
for sure!! They need you!!
2006-09-13 18:53:30 · answer #5 · answered by Maimee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋