2006-09-13 18:29:47 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Science & Mathematics ➔ Mathematics
The kid from the midwest farm goes off to college and gets a degree in math. When he comes home, there's a big celebration and a picnic with all the in-laws, out-laws, and other relatives to welcome him back. After lunch the kids father says, "Well, son, how about you say something in mathematics?" The kid thinks for a minute and says πr². The father just shakes his head and mutters about wasting so much money, Then he says, "No, boy, pie are *round*. It's cornbread that are square."
Two mathematicians are driving down the road when they see a huge flock of sheep. The driver turns to his colleague and says. "Wow. I wonder how many sheep there are out there?" His colleague glances out the window and replies, "23,245." "No way" replies the driver. "In fact, I'm going to call your bluff because just ahead is the shepards trailer and I need to stop and stretch a bit anyway." So they stopped and walked over to the shepard. The first mathematician says, "We were just admiring your flock of sheep. "Would you happen to know exactly how many there are in your flock?" The shepard scratches his head and says, "Last time we counted it was 23,245." The first mathematician turns to his colleague and says, "That's incredible!! How did you do that?" His colleague answers, "It's fairly simple. You just count the feet and divide by four."
If I'm telling jokes like that, I am **way** to drunk to be playing here ☺
Night all.
Doug
2006-09-13 20:04:19 · answer #1 · answered by doug_donaghue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if this is a good math joke, but here goes:
At a small college, where the engineering, physics and mathematics departments all share the same faculty lounge, a fire has broken out in a waste paper basket.
The engineering professor, seeing this, quickly goes to the machine shop, fashions for a lid for the the trash bin, and sets it on top of the bin, a perfect fin, smothering the fire.
Unfortunately, the waste paper basket is kicked by a passing student, and the lid falls in. With a renewed supply of oxygen, the fire starts up again.
The physics professor comes by and sees the fire. He quickly grabs a fire hose from across the room, points it a considered angle, so that the water arcs beautifully in the air, landing precisely in the trashcan. He turns off the water and moves on.
Still, the embers have enough to relight and the fire is soon burning merrily again. The math professor comes along and sees the fire. He pulls out a notepad, and writes some equations and, satisfied with the solution, moves on, ignoring the fire.
(In case you didn't get it... it is pretty bad...the math professor of course has no interest in a practical application of math, merely content that a solution exists.)
2006-09-14 01:42:13 · answer #2 · answered by John T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1+1=11
2006-09-14 01:33:01 · answer #3 · answered by ^ _ ^ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Q: What's purple and commutes?
A: An abelian grape.
Q: Why are bacteria bad at math?
A: Because they divide to multiply.
2006-09-14 01:54:10 · answer #4 · answered by curiouscat 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9....
Q:How many DIY does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: 1, but it takes 5 trips to the hardware store to get it right.
Q:How many recovering AA members does it take to screw in
a lightbulb?
A: I, but it takes him 12 steps to do it.
A: 1
Q: How many psychics does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
2006-09-14 01:41:19 · answer #5 · answered by jimbo_wizard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are 10 kinds of people in this world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.
2006-09-14 19:18:55 · answer #6 · answered by Aaron 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
math makes a man mad
2006-09-14 02:02:10 · answer #7 · answered by dudul 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
--------WOMAN NEEDS TIME AND MONEY
WOMAN=MONEY X TIME
--------TIME IS MONEY RITE,
WOMAN = MONEY ^2
--------MONEY IS THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL
MONEY = SQRT EVIL
WOMAN = SQRT EVIL ^2
WOMAN = EVIL
2006-09-14 01:38:45 · answer #8 · answered by sumone^^ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋