My husband has a habit that has eaten away at him for 2 years and is now starting to hurt our marriage. Is there any way to encourage him to seek help without further hurting us and still telling him I love him? While I would rather not be more specific on a public forum, it is something that affects only him except very recently, and the recent turn of events that affect our marriage will hurt him far more than me. He needs some kind of intervention or something. I am committed to him, but I don't even like to be around him anymore because of this.
2006-09-13 18:11:04 · 13 answers · asked by mountain_laurel1183 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you can't help him until he wants to help himself and it sounds like he's not ready, infact he's even willing to risk his marriage to you. be firm and let him know that although you are there for him you will not tolerate this behavior, sometimes it takes tough love to shock someone into realizing their bad behavior and then seeking to change it.
2006-09-13 18:14:02 · answer #1 · answered by hell_in_a_handbasket 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are involved in a church, I would get the elders of the church together with him. If not, perhaps getting involved in a church would help. Also, a support group for whatever his habit is. The last answer that I would have is to have a few of his best friends that he can safely confide in help him. The Bible tells us what we when men come together to support one another it is like iron sharpening iron. God bless you and you need to get support yourself on this one. This is a family problem not just his problem. I'll be praying for you.
2006-09-14 01:24:43 · answer #2 · answered by oneradnursey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All that I can tell you is that if your husband does not
want to quit whatever it is he is doing, NOTHING you
can do will help cure him. HE has to do it.
You can be there to support him, but if you are serious
about not enabling him, then you must set boundaries,
realistic ones that you are comfortable with. I suggest
getting in touch with an appropriate counselor for your
particular situation. Good Luck. Addictive behaviors
are extremely challenging. Take Care.
2006-09-14 01:17:36 · answer #3 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear that... I think, the only way things can even begin changing is if he himself admits to having a problem, and decides he wants to overcome it. Without it, your efforts will be futile, however well-meaning you might be. Once he has resolved to do his best to overcome his problem, you can be supportive, and help him help himself. Encouragement and support means a lot in this situation - but he has to take the first step. Good luck!
2006-09-14 02:02:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to tell him how it makes you feel. Keep it personal about you and how it is affecting your life. Don't make it attack on him.
Suggest counselling together so you can help him with his problem. Reassure him how much you love him but let him know that you don't think you can continue on this way.
If he loves you, he will be happy that you want to be with him and help him.
2006-09-14 01:14:08 · answer #5 · answered by sarah071267 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope people with destructive habits or addictions don't stop until its what THEY want, anything less won't stick anyway. He's a sinking ship and staying committed to him simply commits you to going down with him!
2006-09-14 01:15:08 · answer #6 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Agree on a trial separation (after speaking with a lawyer) while he deals with this problem with a professional.
2006-09-14 01:24:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is sacred. For better or worse. For richer or poorer in sickness and in health. Whatever you do remind him and yourself of that.
2006-09-14 01:35:39 · answer #8 · answered by charity2882 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's addicted to porn isn't he?
My friend's husband is addicted to porn. It damaged their marriage.
2006-09-14 01:24:34 · answer #9 · answered by kickbutt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't tell us anything regarding his condition.. if you love him .. stand by him
2006-09-14 01:14:30 · answer #10 · answered by G. C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋