i need help plz i need help?

Question

i need help on my metophor poem
i wrote mine but can you guys please fix it better for me thank you
here the poem:

Happiness is a bowl of ice cream
In hot summer
Ice cream is like a life saver
Without a ice cream
your mouth becomes
hot oven
Once, you bite
Your ice cream
With your mouth
Your mouth dances
And enjoys
With happiness

Answer 1

Happiness is a bowl of icecream
in the heat of summer.
Your mouth is a hot oven
and ice cream is the life saver
that makes your mouth dance
with happiness
at the first bite.

Answer 2

Your Poem Should go like this.

Happiness is like a bowl of ice cream,
It melts in your mouth and cools in your heart,
In hot summer Ice cream is a life saver,
Without a ice cream I become a slaver,

When your mouth becomes hot as an oven,
It can barbercue a chicken as good as an oven,
Once, you bite your ice cream with your mouth
Your mouth dances and enjoys with happiness

Answer 3

I think that you are doing well but maybe try to read one word from each line and make substitutions i.e.
ice cream
summer
life saver
ice cream
mouth
hot oven
bite
ice cream
mouth
dances
enjoys
happienes (coolness)

Answer 4

Happiness is like money, wonderful to have and hard to get,
You enjoy it while its there and miss it when its gone,
Each time you get it again you learn to keep it a little longer than before, till eventually you are figure out how to save it, to make life better a little longer.
hope I helped you!!!!

Answer 5

I think you need to find somthing else to write about.