It's money that he loves the most, citing that having our 4 children was a big burden to him. I HAVE NO REGRETS ABOUT HAVING MY KIDS!!!
2006-09-13 17:09:44 · 16 answers · asked by kitty 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's never good to stay in a relationship based solely on the kids. You have to make yourself feel good and it seems that he hasn't done that in a long time. Besides when you stay in a relationship just for the kids they grow up to think it's ok to lie and be in a nonloving relationship. Leave him and take half of everything he owns. Better to be happy than not.
2006-09-13 17:15:25 · answer #1 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Grow a backbone and leave him, why stay with him if you do not love him anymore, and well, since obviously he loves money more than you? You are only holding him and yourself back from finding someone or something that will make you happy again. And don't say for the sake of the children if this is the reason you are staying with him. Imagine what goes through those children's minds when they see their parents not loving each other and a father saying they are a burden on him. Why should you and your children stay in that enviroment? 15 years already wasted on your part as is, 15 years is a long time for staying with someone you do not love. I am only guessing it is because of the kids and your lack of backbone to move on. I might be sounding harsh, yes, yes I am. But it is far more harsh for you, for living in a relationship for over 15 years not loving your husband and father of children, it is harsh to expose your children to a relationship where parents don't love each other. One loves the money and the other is wanting out. Only other thing I could say is try talking to him or possible marriage counseling, though 15 years of not loving him anymore seems like you need to find someone that you will love, and will love you back and not the money and even hopefully love your children as his own.
2006-09-14 00:21:26 · answer #2 · answered by Fallen 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why do you have to live with him? There are always choices. I would suggest a divorce with him paying child support and paying you alimony. There is nothing wrong with that. Your children will be better off in the long run if he thinks they are just a burden for him. I hope this helps.
2006-09-14 00:18:53 · answer #3 · answered by organic gardener 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
tell him about it.
"Divorce him! You will get alimony and child support" that's what the b.itch would do. The guy supported you and your 4 kids, first of all how would your kids feel about it? second if you don't love him for 15 years then it means you probably married for 17-18 years and that would probably make you over 40 years old, who would want a woman of that age with 4 kids? love, love, what is love?
For all guys, make contracts with your wifes, they are all bi.tches, they would divorce, get half, and then would jump on someone else's dick!!!!
2006-09-14 00:11:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Who said you "have" to live with him? Sounds like he doesn't have any love or respect for you or the kids if he claims that they're just a "big burden".
Have you tried counseling? If that doesn't work, then move on.
2006-09-14 00:17:42 · answer #5 · answered by ♫☼♥ ≈ Debbi ≈ ♥☼♫ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If it is any consolation to you, there are many such faultess wives like yourself around. What you have to do is surprisingly simple, but not always easy. You must come to terms with yourself and your position. Yes you have chosen a life with a man who is less than sensitive to your needs and feelings. Maybe he once was a nice, thoughtful young man, but now he is another person altogether. He may have married you once, but now you know that he is married to his other love - money.
So what you have to do is to reclaim yourself. Don't waste any more time on expecting him to provide you with happiness or love. I am not suggesting that you find another person to love or to leave your husband. Such 'solutions' often appear to be the quickfix answer, but honestly they will bring great pain and misery.
When you reclaim yourself, it means that you look for reasons to improve your life. The life that was once all yours. So accept that you may not have one who loves you, but you can pamper yourself by going shopping, go to the spa, have elegant lunches by yourself or with your lady friends. You have done a great job as a mother and a wife for so many years. Raising 4 children is not an easy task. You truly deserve to be rewarded and congratulated. Look at all the years you put in. These are the reasons why you should allow yourself the rewards I suggest. It is a great time to read and find out about life's meaning. Raising 4 kids may have been a burden for your husband, but it was you who laboured at their birth and have been providing them with maternal care all these years. Do not underestimate your efforts. It is perhaps time to love yourself more. After all it was in the span of your life that you sacrificed so much for those you love. Now your time has come. Don't try to convert your money loving husband who is blind to the wonder that you must be. If he is insenitive or blind to your needs, you will only get more miserable if you continue to wait on him. Life is still full. No matter what age you are, be happy with what you have and accept that which is your fair share of unplesantness in life. If you wait for all problems to be solved before being happy, you will have no life left. For life is always fraught with difficulties.
So go and do the things you have always wanted to do. Further your study, take a trip with your friends, make new friends, watch weekly movies. Try exotice cusines. Do things you have never done before. A woman does not always need a man, before she can love life and be happy. An attractive woman is not always one who is physically beautiful. An older woman strengths are often overlooked. Such a woman is self assured,happy with herself and often has great emotional insights uncommon in young girls. She often exudes great confidence and wisdom and is still an attraction to any discerning man.
I strongly advise you to take a serious look at yourself and realise that what you present as a problem may well be a wakeup call to start loving and rewarding yourself. You are no less a woman now than when you were a young adult years ago. Don't resent your husband for his thoughtlessness, just do what you should do for yourself. Nothing will shift unless you make time for yourself to look within yourself for your happiness. You have done enough for others, and you have done well for them. It is your turn now. Go have a great time. You deserve it. Or will your need another 15 years before you do something just for yourself?
2006-09-14 03:06:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I lived with my ex husband for 2 years with no love. I finally left. but I have no kids. Maybe it's time to leave. Or marriage counsling if he goes. He sounds like a very stubborn man.
Good luck
2006-09-14 00:13:25 · answer #7 · answered by roxylee11782 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
man o man, I have 6 children and my wife has no use for me other than the ol' wallet, where do you live? I love children, mine are all except for 1 grown.
2006-09-14 02:30:53 · answer #8 · answered by kiny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you no longer love him you have wasted.15. years of your life as well his to let him know this and act like adults for your .4. children . good luck . ?
2006-09-14 00:20:13 · answer #9 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Remain faithful to your husband. Be submissive instead of being sarcastic. As much as possible, be supportive specially if it is for the sake of your family.
2006-09-14 00:20:00 · answer #10 · answered by dtmc542006 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋