I've been married for 5 years, 2 1/2 years into our marriage I had a one night stand. About a month ago I got a letter to take a paternity test,...took it...got the results and it's mine. I told my spouse and she's devestated. I want nothing more than to be with my wife. It was one night, one monsterous mistake. Anyone have tips on how to fix this one???
2006-09-13 16:49:26 · 17 answers · asked by Jack@ss 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are screwed brudda....you will NEVER have her complete trust again. NEVER! She might say she forgives you, but believe me, she will NEVER forget, and will most likely use the 'guilt card' every chance she gets, and because you feel so damn guilty anyway, she will one way or another make you pay for this for the rest of your life. Get used to it.
2006-09-13 17:06:54 · answer #1 · answered by The Oldest Man In The World 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Ok first offdid she know about the one night stand before you got the papers ... if so she forgave you that means it is only right she forgives the consequences.. I know easier said than done. Man up take on your responsibilities// The baby did not ask for you to be daddy he had no choice and every child atleast needs to know their father to make that choice but anyways back to your wife she needs to figure out if she wants to make it work if so maybe counseling also if this was just a one night stand she should know there are no feelings of love for this other woman ..communication is a very good thing just request she does not throw stones... if your love is strong it can pull you though anything believe I'm speaking from experience
2006-09-13 16:56:32 · answer #2 · answered by wildway0304 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say, things like this are hard to fix, because you shouldn't have strayed in the first place. Your wife will surely be heartbroken for a long time and she won't trust you either, if you are willing to live with that, then now is the moment to make amends, I suggest you tell her that you know that you have caused her tremendous pain and that you betrayed her trust, but you know that everyone deserves a second chance and you are willing to do anything to get her to forgive you, ask her what she wants as proof of this. I'm telling you, forgiving someone who has cheated is really difficult to do, and it will be totally up to you to win her back.
Good luck.
2006-09-13 16:59:31 · answer #3 · answered by White 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
These things are difficult, but not impossible, to fix. I would suggest finding a good couples counsellor immediately, so you two can start talking through the issues before they escalate.
You will need to be 100% accountable to her. Be where you say you will be. Come home on time every day. Be comletely honest. Do not give her reason to worry about you. Her trust will be shaken, for good reason, and you will have to earn this back. It can be a long road.
2006-09-13 17:41:43 · answer #4 · answered by Obi_San 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well be man enough to face the consequences of your 1 night stand..it was a mistake and yes it was YOUR mistake!!!
Your wife is of course devastated but I know that she will support you to go through all these...but be a father to your kid...he is still your blood. You have to support your other child even though it is not your immediate family.
2006-09-13 16:56:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds as though this has just happened and your wife is angry that you betrayed her . i would be too . let her cool off for awhile and don't talk about it unless she instigates the conversation. i doubt if one teeny weeny once only ''one night stand '' will stop her from loving you .it's the fact that she will think that you have had more than one night out with someone else and now she feels she can;t trust you .confession is not always good for the soul .and it destroys marriages .
2006-09-13 16:59:18 · answer #6 · answered by clrdanlob 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately there's not much you can do but pay the support and be a dad if you can and try to move on with your lady I know all about one nite stands I lost my first wife because of stupidity.It may be cool at first but the gilt sucks.
2006-09-13 17:00:01 · answer #7 · answered by Rodney T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get counseling with your wife, pay child support, and be a father to your child. It's not his fault that he was the result of a "mistake". You need to seriously go to counselling, though. You need to prove to your wife that you love her and are willing to do whatever it takes to make your marriage work, as long as she doesn't hold your mistake against your child.
2006-09-13 17:01:16 · answer #8 · answered by Kimmie 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can see your wife's side ,she will feel like her world has crashed down around her ,if you want her to stay with her ,you will need to be completely honest with her and let her be angry ,you deserve it but then after all the yelling and recriminations ,it is up to her if she feels she can forgive you.In order to be forgiven you have to own your mistake ,you can explain but don't make excuses,then you have to be completely honest and put up with her not trusting you ,you need to earn her trust back ,even if she forgives ,she wont trust you till you prove your self ,you need to be willing to work on that.tell her where you are at all times .next you need to make it up to her ,you may have to court her again but don't go overboard or she will think you have something to hide.last don't play with her if you want out go ,if she wants out give her time.lastly talk to her about the child ,you need to handle that together.good luck..we all make mistakes its just a shame for you ,your wife and the child that you were found out.
2006-09-13 17:16:25 · answer #9 · answered by stephanie n 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay with your wife but then you need to support the baby. One monstrous mistake is enough, so don't do it again.
2006-09-13 16:56:25 · answer #10 · answered by dtmc542006 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋