For a wife, I really feel so blessed (and loved) to have a husband who helps me a lot with the daily chores at home since we are both working and tired when we get home.
Eversince he was a kid, they had helpers at home to do these for them which we really didn't have on a regular basis and it surely amazes me how he never complains and do things without me even asking.
Once in a while, his guys friends would ask who does the laundry and wash the dishes (which he both does since I get to cook and iron clothes) and then some of them will give him (or us, if I'm also present) a smirk on their faces once they found out the truth.
My question is, for you guys and wives of helper-husbands out there, do you see yourselves or your guy friends lesser of a man if he does do all these (out of love I hope)? Does it decreases any macho points they once had before they got married? I love my husband so much and everything he does for me, but I'd rather do all these (or get a helper) if it does.
2006-09-13 16:47:32 · 24 answers · asked by kamahalan_12 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Having your husband helping you with household chores probably means that he is more secure in his masculinity, and doesn't need to prove anything to anybody else.
2006-09-13 16:51:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
I think, only somewhat ignorant people truly feel that helping with the household chores somehow "decreases" one's masculinity. Most people are probably simply paying lip service to a stereotype without giving it much thought. I personally grew up in a family where it fell upon my mom to do everything around the house - but simply because my dad was very busy working, and my mom stayed home with the kids or only worked part-time. Between my fiancé and I, I do most of the cooking, laundry, dishes and the like - but it's not because either of us feels that his masculinity would be compromised by doing these things, but simply because I'm good at these things, and he's good at others - like taking care of the plumbing and other handyman chores, working hard to pay the mortgage, keeping the computers and the home theatre up and running, etc. Try not to pay too much attention to people when they're being silly...just keep on doing what works for you and your hub.
2006-09-13 17:16:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just think of it this way.....if he weren't married and living alone, who would be doing all those things? He would, so why should it be any different when couples are living together and sharing all kinds of responsibilities. The guys that don't help should be getting the smirks, 'cause deep down they know it isn't fair if the woman is doing all the household chores as well as working outside the home. You have a good husband and by helping out, he knows you both have more free time to spend doing things the both of you enjoy!
2006-09-13 16:56:06 · answer #3 · answered by Geez Louise 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If a man helps his wife with household chores, I would say that makes the bond in the family relationship more stronger than
ever. The man would not feel that way (less of a man), because
it's like "four hands are better than two" and he is being
practical, considerate, caring and loving you.
I would encourage such healthy household chores between
husband and wife in the family. Good Luck.
2006-09-13 17:09:04 · answer #4 · answered by steplow33 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely not..i thnk of him as a 'real man' if he does it coz it shows tht he is responsible and caring enough to help the wife round the house. My hubby does the same n we very much share the household work n we've no problem in tht. However we do things we're good at e.g i cook n clean up the kitchen, do laundry whilst he clean up the other rooms n vaccum the house.Have fun n dont get too uptight about who's doing what. If he isn't complaining, why shuld u :)
On the other hand, his friends are just teasing him..guys do tht with their best mates to show tht they ar close enuf to point out their mates 'hubby of the yr' traits ..trust me, some of the guys who smirk possibly help out their wives/partners/mothers at home too..hehe..i know tht coz my brothers used to do tht to his friends n he's such a good helper to his wife..
2006-09-13 17:01:03 · answer #5 · answered by maria 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No no, this is absolutely wrong. Your concerned about how macho his friends think he is? This is not the 1950s. MORE men need to be helping out with household chores. There need to be more men who set good examples regarding EQUITY OF HOUSEHOLD CHORES. And you're suggesting that you just....do it all, or hire someone......if helping out around the house makes him look less macho to his friends???? Who cares what his friends think??! This is your life - you better demand that you have as much free time as he does, and therefore that he help out around the house as much as you - if you don't demand this, no one is going to just hand it over to you. I'm 28, and my dad always helped out around the house - dishes, laundry, everything - even though he worked full time, and my mom worked part time. What happens if his friends think he's less macho because he doesn't cheat on you - are you going to suggest that maybe he should do that - because they think that's just what men do? "Boys will be boys" they'll say. F.U.C.K. no. You better stand up and demand what is right, because no man is going to do it for you.
2006-09-13 16:57:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it shows that he is a man that loves and respects his wife and the home that they are creating together. I too grew up a spoiled kid and we had housekeepers but my dad still wasn't above loading the dishwasher after supper or running the vacumn after me and my brothers had a popcorn fight. My husband does just as much around here as I do and is just as involved in the child raising aspects too. If a man wants to think less of a buddy because he helps his wife then he isn't much of a man and I feel sorry for whoever he marries.
2006-09-13 16:52:32 · answer #7 · answered by Martha S 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Even if his guy friends give your man crap about helping you around the house, you know they're running home to help their wives with some of the same chores. Relationships are give and take and responsibilities are usually shared to some extent.
And, who needs macho points with guy friends anyway, it's what your significant other thinks of you that really counts.
2006-09-13 16:54:10 · answer #8 · answered by live2ride 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It does not make him lesser of a man. I hate that women have been stereotyped to do all the housework. He lives there too. Why should you do it all? You both work. I think it is sweet. My husband still helps me with some things and i am a stay a home mom of 2. They do it out of love!!!!! We just have great husbands and other people are jealous of that!!!!
2006-09-13 16:53:32 · answer #9 · answered by housewives5 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My God, you should be even proud of your husband!!!!
he is a person a lot of wives would envy...
Well, if he is just good in chores and doesn't fulfill your you-know, activity as husband and wife, or he is cold towards you then that is when you will start to worry about the macho thing.
But if not, you are the most blessed wife!!!
2006-09-13 16:52:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are very lucky to have a man that cares enough for you to do his share of the work, and is man enough to do it in spite of what his friends think. That makes him much more of a man than any macho chauvenists out there who expect a woman to wait on them even when they've been working just as much if not more.
2006-09-13 16:53:08 · answer #11 · answered by Bug's Mama 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋