Once she was in love with me, but now she hates me like anything. I want to Marry her but she not even want to talk to me. She is impressed with him and likes him.
I never intend to hurt her, I thought Truth cannot be hidden for long, some or other day, say after years of her marrage, if he comes to know by someone else, then it would be problem. So, I told him everything. He refused to marry her.
I was not in myself to think, I'm totally confused and dont know what to do?
She likes him. Sometimes I think I should meet him again and tell him that I told him all lie.
Please help me. Advise me. What should I do?
2006-09-13 16:32:35 · 34 answers · asked by Sash1548 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
YES, I have done the biggest mistake in my life. It was not at all my part to tell him, still I have done it.
I used to tell her that she should tell him the truth, as I was worried if he comes to know from some other people, it is really bad. Becouse he had already shared with her about his first love and breakoff and was expecting her to be honest.
I was sure that he will marry her afterknowing everything coz he too likes her.
But I could not present this is a proper way, he was not ready to listen me anymore and I come to know that he decided NOT to marry her.
This all happened becouse of me.
Please advise me what shoud I do.
I am feeling very guilty.
2006-09-13 16:36:26 · update #1
I went to apologise her but she didnot listen to me, instead, she called her friend to hit me.
2006-09-13 16:37:03 · update #2
It's never good to lie so don't make things worse by telling him that it was all a lie when it was true.
She chose to have the affair with you. You did't rape her. She is angry that you went to the fiance and maybe you should have discussed it with her first, so she could have had the option to come clean with him.
If she hates you then it just goes to show your relationship was not meant to be. Move on. Find someone else. Who knows? Maybe when she sees you dating other women then she will realize she has feelings for you or maybe she'll get past her anger.
For now, assume she'll always hate you. If she's made her feelings clear then you'll just look foolish hanging onto a dream that cannot be.
2006-09-13 16:36:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man, you are perfectly fine, that's HER and HIS problem, if it wasn't you, was going to be another person. Use this lesson to know you should avoid this situation in the future, it's more likely that if you remain single is going to happen again, there are tons of married womans or womans that are going to get married looking for guys like you. From now on, is up to you to decide what you want to do in the future. You are a guy, you are being WAY too nice on feeling guilty, but please stop it right there. That woman was going to do it again with someone else in the future, that's the way it works, and things in that aspect doesn't change, ever. You have just saved an innocent guy from getting with the incorrect woman, he is not going to thank you, but you did the right thing on knowing that what was done was a mistake, and the only thing that was possible to do was to take some action about it, go, face the problem with both parties and think on your future how you will proceed. from mistakes we learn. I feel sorry for the other guy, you should feel sorry too, but is not your fault. I am happy to know you have opened the eyes of the other guy, that's kind of a relief!!!! can you imagine if that happens to you in the future, wouldn't you like to know?. You take time to heal and then you make another attempt, now is much better than later, not to mention if there are kids in between!!!
2006-09-13 16:59:22 · answer #2 · answered by livingthe30s 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing. You give the guy a favor for telling the truth. Do not feel guilty about.
I would never go back to her either because she could have done the same thing to you. You are smart enough to see it and be honest about the whole situation.
Move on and start over. You will find a better person than she is. Goodluck.
2006-09-13 17:42:01 · answer #3 · answered by leyte6519 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you did the best thing by telling him, but I don't think your motives were probably the best one. I know you said you did it because of him finding out later, but I think maybe you told because you were hoping for a break up. If you did it because of totally unselfish reasons, you'd say you didn't want this guy hurt or to go into a marriage with a big lie in it. This girl is probably not going to talk to you again. Sorry. But when you are truly friends with someone, you keep secrets. Now that it's out, I wouldn't go back and say it was a lie. Just let it ride out and watch the outcome at this point.
2006-09-13 16:52:02 · answer #4 · answered by t.larae 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may not realize it but because you love her you did a selfish thing telling him. Deep inside I think you wanted him to be out of the picture so you could have a chance even if it was not consciously what you did. Somehow now you have to deal with the fact that it backfired and she is mad as h ell about it. Time heals most wounds but I don't know if this one will heal for her.
2006-09-13 16:37:43 · answer #5 · answered by jusme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were jealous and thats why you went to her man and told him everything dont you think if she wanted him to know she would have told him you were just being vindictive because you wanted to be in his shoes and you knew just what to do to get there or so you thought except for one thing it backfired on you and now you feel foolish and shes mad as H ell at you because you ruined her relationship no one knew about this except you her and god and for some reason you tried to sabotage her relationship with her and sig other congrats you did just that but do you really think shes going o come running to you all she wanted from you was S ex if she wanted more she would have made that perfectly clear so now you lost her and you hurt her sig other all because you were JEALOUS.
2006-09-13 20:26:21 · answer #6 · answered by CaliMa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you really think that telling her fiance that the two of you had an affair would make her come back to you? You may be out of luck here. You need to back off and keep your mouth shut. If she was willing to cheat on him before the marriage, it wasn't a good idea to get married but it was not your place to jump in the middle of it either. Don't make things worse than they are, keep quiet, live and learn and don' t count on her coming back to you. Sorry, not trying to be hyper-critical but yeah, you betrayed her and she isn't coming back.
2006-09-13 16:40:16 · answer #7 · answered by justme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
really u did a blender mistake....i don't know what was Ur intention, but u would not have done like this...this really effect her life...u r boy so u wont be having any problem..she is the who has to pay for this....if u would have really loved her u would have let her live with her fiancee.....no man is ready to marry a girl who s character is not good....in our society having a affair is a big mistake thought she has not done any mistake....
if u really feel guilty...then just go out of her life....& let her live happily...u also try to be happy....
2006-09-13 20:24:40 · answer #8 · answered by sonu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
seems such as you destroyed the believe that she might have had with you. i don't understand if she would be prepared to forgive. It sounds as though she is interested in her fiance if she is worried greater approximately how he feels rather of how you're feeling. i might circulate on if I have been you. If she loves you and actually desires to be with then you she will come around... if not, you're greater valuable off. next time are not getting entangled with a girl who's in a courting. Sorry on your discomfort... i understand a broken heart is unfavorable.
2016-10-14 23:45:07 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were right to tell him. Like you said, she would get married and have problems later if he found out. Maybe even a divorce. He might have taken the children away to if they had any then. Pat yourself on the back for me. Not many honest men like you out there.
2006-09-13 18:08:55 · answer #10 · answered by Just_Curious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋