How do I tell John he is consuming my time without sounding like a grouch?

Question

I adore him and truley care about him, but he plans things with me then never follows thru. He refuses to get out of bed before 10 or 11 o'clock and then it takes him until at least 1 pm to get his stuff together and he just sucks up my entire day. He invites me to go out to eat then postpones it for 2 hours until I am starving and then wants to go after I have pilfered thru the cereal box, snacked on a bag of chips and drank 2 pepsi's waiting because I havent eaten since the day before. I fill up because I have to wait on him so long.
I am very prompt and get up at around 7 or 8 am every morning and do my own thing such as laudnry and vacuming. I am showered and ready to go by at least 8 or 9 AM.
He is driving me crazy. We went on vacation and since he refused to get up before noon, we ended up driving thru 2 states I never even saw because it was dark and now he wants me to go again. He thinks vacation is sleeping all day I guess.
How should I handle him?

He works 12 hour nites 6 nites a week and I work 12 hour days. He has this thing about keeping up with my paycheck. He thinks I dont know he is obsessing about the money I make vs. the money he makes.

Answer 1

If you're up and rolling 5-6 hours before he is... when do both of you work? Do you have anything in common, or is this a relationship based more on sex?

I wouldn't sit around wasting my day waiting for him; but rather do whatever I would normally be doing, and tell him he's welcome to join me, but I'm not wasting my day waiting on him. Forget about worrying about sounding like a "grouch". I think that's a reasonable expectation to want to be productive. And if he doesn't, he's probably not worth wasting your time on.

Answer 2

Sit him down and talk to him. Tell him exactly how you feel without getting mad. Tell him that you feel like he is putting you off, not spending quality time with you, that it hurts your feelings, whatever it may be doing to you. He can't fix it if he doesn't know it bothers you. The longer you put off telling him, the more it will fester inside of you and become worse. Good luck.