My son is 13 and he met this boy who is 20 from a family friend who happens to live with them. This 20 year old likes hanging out with my son alot. They are always talking on the phone and this 20 year old is always wanting to spend time with my son. I have a feeling there is more to this but am I wrong? Could it only be friendship or is this guy interested in my son.
2006-09-13 16:05:52 · 22 answers · asked by heartofgold272 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
No - you are not over reacting! You are a parent & you are supposed to train up & protect your son as best you can - he is only 13 - why would a 20 yr. old be interested in him for anything other than perversion? Get on this immediately! Do not allow them to be alone and also speak to the other family about the boy. Not normal - and it is ok to be honest with your son - do not be afraid to talk with him about anything. My son is 14 and we talk constantly, I know his friends, where he goes etc. etc. - that's what a parent does!! Get on it! Hopefully nothing has happened to your son that will take years of therapy to resolve.
2006-09-13 16:25:14 · answer #1 · answered by Forever 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is something wrong with a 20-year-old who wants to hang out with someone 13. The only exception is if your son is exceptionally mature for his age, maybe he thinks/acts like he is 17, then I could see it.
Does the 20 year-old act his age, or maybe he is developmentally disabled and therefore at your son's level?
What do they talk about? Mature stuff, or 13 year-old stuff? I would keep my eyes and ears open and investigate this further.
I would not let them spend time alone together; make sure they are in your home where you can see/hear/observe.
2006-09-13 16:18:54 · answer #2 · answered by gator girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do they talk about? You should spend time with the
two of them when they are together. Does this 20 year old have other friends his own age? Talk to the family friend. See how he interacts with there children if they have any. Be very careful with your son. Does your son have friends his age? If your son doesn't have an adult male in his life, You could sign him up for Big Brothers, or get him in an activity at the YMCA.
2006-09-13 16:15:58 · answer #3 · answered by Maggie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO, YOU ARE NOT OVERREACTING.
Good question. Big Brother figure, or budding pedophile?
Time will tell. Be careful to NOT let your anxiety cloud your observation of these two.
Ask your son what they do together. Don't be suspiscious, just ask in casual conversation. If they do anything, and I mean anything that is not in your son's best interest (booze, drugs, porn, drugs ect) then this guy is setting your son up for probably more than a friendship.
But if they get your son's homework done, play sports, go fishing, and other normal "guy stuff" than maybe it is more like a "mentor" type relationship.
Peoples' intentions are clearly stated, through their behavior, and the choices they make. Does this guy want to make friends with you, or avoid you? Does he come over and hang out at the house with your son?
Also, observe your son. Does he seem to withdraw more than usual? Does he "hide out in his room" more? Does he avoid you? Is he short with you when you ask him a question? Is he angry or sad often? Or, does he seem happy, energetic, and enthusiastic? Does he initiate conversation, or contribute more to a conversation? Does he volunteer what he did with his friend, or brag about it? ("Hey Mom, we saw this really great car at the car show we went to on Saturday....I want to save up for one.....")
Your son's behavior is also a big clue to what is happening. If he feels good about himself, you will know it. If he is ashamed or harboring pain, you will know it by how he behaves.
Try to act normal for a week. And if you see signs of any type of abuse, whether sexual, emotional, or anything, see how he reacts to your telling him not to hang out with this guy.
2006-09-13 16:39:56 · answer #4 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not over reacting, When I was 13 I was hanging out with 20 year olds and doing drugs,I would get a home drug test at your local drug store. They are about $ 20. Then talk talk to your boy !!!
2006-09-13 16:45:11 · answer #5 · answered by Dude Man 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Always go with your gut feeling. If you feel something is wrong then do something about it. It is weird that a 20 year old wants to have something to do with a 13 year old.
2006-09-13 16:09:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
thats a tough one. It could be just friendship but yet he could "like" him. Sorry I wasnt much help. I dont really know if I would allow my 13 year old to hang out with a 20 year old but thats my opinion. Good luck!!
2006-09-13 16:08:54 · answer #7 · answered by Michelle : 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is an inappropriate relationship. You could all the police and have him checked out. But I would make sure your son understands that this is not normal for an adult man to be into a young boy.
2006-09-13 16:08:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
believe I would be concerned too to a level.......really - what 20 year old would have enough common interest with a 13 to need constant contact.....makes you wonder about the mindset of this 20 year old also plus leary of his influence with the 13 year old in regard to drugs, alcohol, etc
proceed with caution as to not build walls with your own relationship with your child
you are the parent - step in as needed - in time the child will most likely appreciate it
2006-09-13 16:10:28 · answer #9 · answered by Marsha 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have some suspicion myself. I think it's odd for a 20 yr old to have so much interest in a 13 yr old.
2006-09-13 16:09:21 · answer #10 · answered by Brina 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋