I met a married woman tonight, should I see her again?

Question

We both are in crappy marriages where our spouses contribute little if anything to the marraige, both financialy and emotionaly. For the first time in a long time, I enjoyed the conversation and company of a woman. Even though she is an amazing woman with many of the caracturistics I am attracted to, should I see her again and let fate have its way or stay in my marriage

Answer 1

I truely believe that you should follow your heart,why should either of you spend the rest of your lives unhappy,married or not,if it doesnt work it doesnt work,you can wait for ever and you cannot force something to change that probably never will.I kinda live by my own rule,once I can say that I gave it my all,then I move on,I wish you all the best in what ever you decide to do,I think you are an amazing man

Answer 2

Rik-

I just am getting over the heartbreak of my life by letting "fate" take over in such a situation. I had a whirlwind romance with a man I'd know 29 years ago and when we at last reconnected, we were both "happily married", he for 26 years and I for 28. We had been off and on lovers in college. It was if 29 minutes had gone by since we'd last talked, not 29 years! We live 1500 miles apart, but we saw each other 10 days out of the 8 months we carried on a secret romance. Well, at the end, not so secret. We ended up back where we started, married, but not to each other as we dreamed of.

My advice, keep it as a friendship. You should both take care of your marriages at home, either leaving them with NO regrets or go for counseling and get the marriage back on track. I lost a newly found best friend who won't, who can’t even acknowledge I'm alive now. I still cry and it's been 11 months.

From a recent "other woman," I advise to exercise control because right now you still can!! Think carefully. The heartbreak has not been worth it for me -- it never goes away. I know he feels the same, else wise we'd be friends. I'm the elixir and he can't even have a little drink of me or he'll go to the dark place in himself where he loves me, and he still loves me. We just had other commitments that had to come first.

Answer 3

If u are in a crappy marriage, what makes u think the solution is outside of it? This should've told u that it is time to work on it. Why are u taking the easy way out? The fact that you're enjoying communicating with another woman tells me you're lacking the same connection with your wife. So...what's stopping u from getting that back? I really don't understand people of your mentality when the solutions are right there inside their own marriage. What ever happened to upholding your vows and trying to make it work?

Obviously, this is all going to be up to u as this is your life. Just consider that the grass is not always greener on the other side. It just seems that way because you're forgetting to mow your own. Consider that u might end up having this same issues with this other woman down the road, should u decide to hook up with her.
So my suggestion is: Choose wisely because u will be the one who's going to live with the consequences later on.

Answer 4

No - my ex husband had an affair with another woman and we are now divorced. Deal with your marriage first. If you try and work things out with your wife and you both decide to end the relationship - you will be able to leave with your dignity in tact. Cheating solves nothing and causes too much pain. My ex and I may have been able to work things out or we could have both agreed it was for the best. Now I look at him and see a stranger - the man I knew is dead. If you ever loved your wife - do not do this to her. End it properly then see the other woman. Oh and you might want to tell her the same thing.

Answer 5

NO! Didn't you watch dr. phil? You need to respect the union of marriage, yours and hers. I think its great that you feel a connection to another woman, but try to fix or get out of what you're dealing with now and THEN seek out someone else. On the other hand, you only live once, and what if this is the one that would make you really happy. No. I still say, fix it or get out of it. Often, when you start something in the middle of something else, it doesn't work anyway. There's too much unfinished business and resentments arise. Good luck

Answer 6

It sounds like you have no idea what a marriage was in the beginning. Ok look at it this way you both lose your marriage over this stupid stuff and then you get together don't you think there will be problems there to. Its just common sense.If you can't make your marriage work and your already doing this to your other half what makes you think you could make anything else.

Answer 7

If you're not happy in your marriage you need to take care of that situation before you start a new relationship. I understand how great it can feel to be attracted to someone who is so completely different than your spouse, but trust me, no good can come from having someone on the side.

If your marriage is that bad that you're out meeting other people, you really need to revisit why you're still married in the first place.

Answer 8

1. Use spellcheck. (It's spelled "characteristics")

2. Perhaps you both could talk your spouses into swinging/partner swapping.

3. It'd probably be best to divorce if you are both stuck in such sucky marriages (or at least that's your excuse...)

4. I'm engaged and have no intention of leaving, but I do have some guy-friends. There's no rule barring you from a platonic friendship if you're married... just make sure it stays that way. ;)

Answer 9

Like a lot of responses state, consider all the pros and cons.....mainly who else will be hurt by the decision that you make (kids?) they didn't ask for this! No kids, then re-look at your marriage and decide for once and all, is it salvageable, do I still love her? Only you know the answer...all we can do from the outside is to cheer you onto a new relationship or encourage you to right your marriage vows.
Good luck on your journey.

Answer 10

Lonely people are vulnerable to play dangerous games. Often time it is thought of being an antidote for healing their broken hearts but in the end it turned out to be a poison that can kill both of them. To sum it up, short time pleasures is equal to long time
suffering and pain.