wife of 10yrs left i am trying to learn how to live i didnt try to make freinds while she was here and now i am lost and am trying to meet people any help would b appreciated
2006-09-13 15:27:55 · 18 answers · asked by eddie w 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Good Evening! What a good way to start out finding some way to pass some time. Getting on the Internet and reading answers to questions should give you some ideas and will help pass time for a week or two and give you time to start to adjust. You may want to get involved in a mixed bowling league. You never know who will be there or who may know someone, if it's no more than to make friends. You may also want to get involved in volunteer work. You could meet lots of different people this way. Who knows, you may want to find a part time job for 6 or so months until you have adjusted to single life. You just need your eyes opened again to a different life style. You sound like a nice guy so you should not have any problems meeting & making friends. Best of Luck to You.
2006-09-13 16:42:33 · answer #1 · answered by HolidayGurl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HI Eddie,
It's a great thing that you've reached out here rather than drinking or adding other problems you don't need right now.
There are so many fun things to do to recirculate yourself. Just get out and be seen. A gym is a sure bet because you'll meet a variety of people so you have choices of whom you wnat to get to know. Also try gourmet groups for singles. Stay away from bars though. You sound too sweet and vulnerable for the sharks you might meet there. Get out and do the things you enjoy and that's the only way you'll meet compatible friends, maybe even a wonderful woman. Post here anytime you're lonely, but we're just cyber folk. You need real friends.
2006-09-13 22:52:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first question is what kinds of friends are you looking for. Is it female friends or male friends, or both. I would first start by having confidence in yourself.
1) Walk tall and feel that you're strong at heart.
2) Be able to speak words with self-assurance.
3) Show that you are unique in your own way and able to stand up when the going gets tough.
But always remember, never be bitter at any woman because of your wife and don't think that any woman you meet will be like your wife.
There are so many things to consider when you say "My wife left me".
You have to ask yourself why your wife left you...
Did you do something to make her leave you?
Did you do something unforgivable?
Or you weren't "MAN" enough to take responsibility and control the household as a husband should have?
Did you let her be the head of household when she clearly wanted you have that role as Man / Husband?
Are you getting divorce or going through divorce procedure?
******** DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE? ***********
You have totally lost you identity by not knowing who you are. You have built your personally around your wife / wife's friends that you forgot what it is like to be "YOU".
You even forget how to make friends because you just when to work and mingle with co-workers and came straight home to watch TV or work around the house?
Did you forget to say "I Love You... Honey" when you came home?
For no reason at all, bring flowers to her just because?
Did you have faith to get out and venture to meet new people of the same sex and opposite sex?
My advice is to go out and join a group, if you like sports... find a group that loves that same sport. You can look in you local newspaper under community events and find anything that is common to your interest.
If you're a christian, find a Bible study group and meet people who are very supportive and will not look at you as loser, but help you find yourself and help you be the real person that you really are.
If I am wrong in every way of the words that I have described, then my deepest apologies.
If I am right... let time heal the wounds and move in a direction that will make you feel good about yourself and know that you have a purpose in life.
2006-09-14 00:21:32 · answer #3 · answered by run_stand_1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dear friend,
the best way i found to make a friend is on the Internet. Sometimes people say the right things at the right time to make you feel better and give you some assurance. Even if they aren't who they say they are maybe they can help .you have to live in the moment. You should make her see what she's missing. Put yourself out there and someone will come along.I know how it is, you feel like if you just had someone to talk to,that has been there and knows what to do maybe it will help. Find a way to occupy your life without her. You know there has to be someone who has had a secret crush on you while you were married, just look around and you'll find what you need.
2006-09-13 22:40:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Start at work, ask someone if they want to do something after work. You can also try the internet, but you never know who you're really talking with. The best thing may be to join a gym or take a couple classes in something you are interested in, then you will instantly have something in common with the other people in the class. Plus it will help keep your mind off things with your ex. Sorry to hear you're going through this...it's hard...trust me I know. Good luck!
2006-09-13 22:34:16 · answer #5 · answered by Cateyes77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to join a singles church group or go the other direction and go to a club..and ask a pretty girl to dance..............believe me there are plenty of women out there looking for a good man..............If you are a good man, you will not be alone for long.
Bless you and good luck
Also join groups or take classes in things that interest you and you could possibly meet someone who shares your interest.
Hope you learned your lesson about wrapping yourself up too much in one person.........develop some male friends and do some man things.......have a football party or something that men do.
Even strike up a conversation in a grocery store........."wow, these avocados are really reasonable this week, do you know how to make guacamole, without my wife, I am lost in the kitchen."..
Hope it helps
2006-09-13 22:38:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, stay away from the bars!!!!! Unless you want a bar rat as a girlfriend that is...which I don't recommend. What do you like to do? Hike? There are hikking clubs all over the country. Try charity runs. Do you like to ride horses...go to a rodeo and talk to people. Like NASCAR.....go to a race. Like dogs...go to a dog show. Like reading books.....go to a Borders that serves coffee. Like music....go to a concert. Like Search and Rescue stuff....join a SAR team.
You'll need to pick hobbies that are somewhat social. Walking on the beach is nice but if there aren't many people at the beach you like then you may not have much of a selection. Try a dating service in your area. Do volunteer work with something you enjoy. Learn to like yourself so that other can like you too...selfconfidence (IMHO) is very very attractive.
2006-09-13 23:36:27 · answer #7 · answered by RainaDeLaSol 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start with your inner circle of people. co workers, family, neighbors.from there try a sport , or hobby where you can meet other new people. Bars aren't the greatest place to meet people. And there are tons of on line dating services. you don't have to date , you can look for a new friend. Good Luck!
2006-09-13 22:35:34 · answer #8 · answered by joy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the gym, or play sports. You'll meet people from your own area, and have a common interest with, and you'll build up your body- making you feel confident and attractive (ever causes for anxiety for recent divorcees).
Alternatively, find some kind of activity or social club. Get yourself a pastime that both allows you to meet people, and that you can enjoy for its own sake.
2006-09-13 22:32:39 · answer #9 · answered by Jim 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
people will tell u go to bars, but all u will fine there is losers an whores, friends at work an threw family, wish u the best life sucks an sometime its better with out a mate, im leaving mine after 26 years , an im in the same boat
2006-09-13 23:07:42 · answer #10 · answered by cris 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋