My divorce is almost final and I keep wondering... I'm 36, with 2 kids and a divorcee. I just wonder if there is any man out there that would want to get tied up in all of that? A good Christian man, that will adore his wife/girlfriend, that won't cheat on me or lie... All I ever wanted was a man to cherish me, communicate with me, and love me with all of his heart. I think all women want that actually.. probably men too.
I just don't understand for the life of me why my husband of 15 years up and left to be with a woman who isn't terribly intelligent, not nearly as attractive as me, has 4 kids under 7 yrs old and would be part of an adulterous relationship yet profess to be "Christian".
Lots of unanswered questions I suppose but I love marriage, I love having a special man in my life and worry that this may happen all over again.
2006-09-13 15:07:16 · 25 answers · asked by spudette70 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I didn't say I was looking for love.. I was merely asking what it's like to be single after being married for so long. I guess I had hoped for some experienced answers.
I am not trying to find love.. nor am I interested in any relationships right now. I honestly can't believe how rude some ppl are when you put your heart out there and ask a bonafide question.
And no.. I'm not a we blanket. I have a lot of friends, a wicked sense of humor, loved my husband (still do sadly) and would have done anything for him. How is it perfect strangers can be so presumptuous? And.. in reference to being so Christian I was a we blanket... buddy, take your judgemental attitude elsewhere -- you don't know me.
2006-09-13 15:20:45 · update #1
I Believe there is a God. I believe that things happen for a reason. I believe that your wishes to be cherished and desired will be returned to you as soon as you decide that you will put those qualities out there and offer them to your friends, children and other loved ones... and for the one who you have not yet met. He will respond in kind.
As far as what it is like. Well, my divorce was different, because I could not wait for the cold hands that forced themselves on me to be removed. And then I was free.
You mentioned that "sadly" you still had (have) feelings. These will take time to heal and with your faith, you will receive that healing. In the background of your words is the hope that a Godly man will love, adore and value you. Once you have healed and ready yourself. I believe that you hope will turn to faith and it will present itself to you. In the meantime, there are so many opportunities that exist for us now. I have learned to celebrate the joys of not having to ask to input on everyday decisions and relish in my alone time when the kids do not need me. Be blessed, my friend.
2006-09-13 15:24:01 · answer #1 · answered by Serendipity 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy can I relate to your situation. Married nearly 18 years with 3 wonderful boys & hubby decides this isn't for him anymore. By all accounts we had a very good marriage - he was just going through a mid-life crisis and didn't want to deal with that because it was easier to leave. That was 5 months ago yesterday.
He couldn't get the courage to file for divorce even though he kept telling me it was over & he was NEVER coming back. Alot has happened since then.
Don't know how long you & your husband have been apart but I can tell you that it does get easier with time. I too loved being married and hope to have that again some day. There are so many wonderful things about being married. Keep your chin up and do your best to keep yourself busy. Keeping busy also helps.
I was a stay at home mom for 10 years and had to enter the workforce once again. It was the absolute best thing that ever could have happened. I was planning on going back to work anyway but him leaving just pushed me to do it much faster.
They say it will happen when you least expect it to happen. There is someone out there for everyone.
I wish you the best of luck & if you ever want to talk or chat feel free to email me at pattysattic @ Yahoo.com
Good luck & take care of yourself!!
2006-09-13 15:46:03 · answer #2 · answered by PattyW 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He left because he probably felt that he was never good enough for you. Next to his loser of a new woman, he looks pretty good! Hey, he's even a better Christian now!
Anything in life can happen - the same thing or something worse like he's perfect, never cheats and life is great then a rock falls on his head and kills him dead. Just enjoy today and deal with tomorrow when/if it comes your way. There is more to life than having a man, especially when you have 2 beautiful kids. Would you still have married your ex if you'd had a glimpse of the future and knew how it would end up but also knew that if you didn't you wouldn't have your kids exactly as they are? Don't forget that you are blessed even if your marriage failed.
2006-09-13 15:21:57 · answer #3 · answered by DeeDee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you are going through this. I was 42 when my husband died. That was 6 years ago. I have not gotten involved in a real loving relationship since. I am just starting to get to where it might be something I am ready for. Being married isn't everything. I think it has taken me this long on my own to realize what kind of man I want in my life. You say you are a christian than just trust that when the time is right God will provide someone. Don't push it. Enjoy your children enjoy yourself. Just don't jump into anything because you won't be happy just being married if they aren't the right one.
2006-09-13 15:14:09 · answer #4 · answered by Stand 4 somthing Please! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am 36 and divorced w/2 kids (15 & 8) and have men willing to get involved all the time! It's me that is not always ready! I went back to school and loved it!! I have made new friends not only in the church, but ones with other ideas and beliefs. I laugh alot. I do not judge anyone. I see humor and kindness in everyone else. My house is clean, I am on the Dean's list, my kids are great and still love their dad (I never talk bad about him), and I am better than ever.
PS I was married 14 years.
2006-09-13 15:12:06 · answer #5 · answered by JULIE J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm not divorced but was widowed at 39. It was fun and exciting at first(I was married 18yrs) being single. But after about 5 yrs it became frustrating! Thank goodness, I didn't settle because this past yr I met a wonderful Man I plan to marry within 6mos. Enjoy your freedom at first and when the right person comes along you'll know it! I wish you lots of luck and best wishes!
2006-09-13 15:20:06 · answer #6 · answered by kelley1031 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe instead of wondering how/ if you will ever find the perfect man you should focus on being the perfect parent for your kids. Divorce is a very hard time for everyone especailly the little ones, and your quest to find your soul mate may in the end hurt them.
2006-09-13 15:11:50 · answer #7 · answered by K C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gee, I would be hurt too. I'm 45, had a fiance,(w./3 children), who left me after 2 years because she " simply fell out of love". Then the next girl I was with for close to two years left me for two guys. So I have an inkling of the hurt.
I also agree that what I'm looking for is someone who will be my life partner.
My desire is to find someone who has plenty of love to go around - enough love to love her children and me at the same time.
2006-09-13 15:17:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationship needs constant nourishment. We would be up all night wondering what went wrong but all it is, he simply fell out of love for selfish reasons.
Forget about you are more this and that, it's his loss anyway. The most important is, children are with you and you deserve greater that he had offered you.
If you really what you described you are then there is no problem. The man of your dream will find you when you are ready.
2006-09-13 15:51:28 · answer #9 · answered by tangerine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are no good men left. Bruce Willis was the Last Boyscout.
Richard Gere got the girl in Officer and a Gentleman.
Tom Hanks is a Castaway
Lance Bass is gay.
2006-09-13 15:12:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋