this is my first baby and my hubby and i aren't doing all that well financially. i'm shy and got overwhelmed at my wedding and wedding shower. i just wanted to hide in the bathroom and cry. it was just too much to take in and people were bossing me around, i didn't like the focus being on me. we really need the stuff that i would get at a shower though.
my mom said i could send birth announcements and people would still give me stuff but i dont' think they would. i live in a small town in michigan and their all kind of hillbilly around here (blunt but true)
2006-09-13 14:50:15 · 22 answers · asked by confused mom 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I am just like you. I had my baby shower 3 days ago... I really didn't want one. I HATE being the center of attention. Thankfully my wedding went all right... as did my baby shower. The worst part was the opening presents part... I HATED doing that only because the whole entire time I was opening presents, EVERYONE was carrying on their own private conversations... so I didn't even feel like going "Ohhh a blanket... ohh a dress." I just gave up and pulled things out of the bag without saying a word. I didn't even bother saying thank you's because every time I would look up at the person who gave me the gift, they would be chatting and laughing away with someone next to them. So... I was just like screw it. I probably didn't look gracious... but I wasn't going to shout over everyone and it kind of p*ss*d me off. I didn't even bother reading the cards outloud either. I opened them, sat there reading them to myself and put them away.
I wouldn't say to send out birth announcements and expect people to send you stuff, because they probably wont. And don't ask them too, because that would be seen as rude to a lot of people. Try to have a baby shower, its really not as horrible as I thought it was going to be. You don't have to have games or anything either. Just food and open presents... that's all. It's not so bad.
2006-09-13 15:07:17 · answer #1 · answered by Ashley P 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Most people dont throw baby showers for themselves. Do you have a good friend or family/inlaws that may be willing to throw a shower for you? Most of your CLOSE friends and CLOSE family will bring a gift when they come and see the baby, but I would not expect strollers and play pens. So if you need big ticket items and this is your first baby then hopefully someone can help throw you with a shower and you can register for the things you need. If not you may want to check second hand shops. I live in Illinios and there is a chain called Once Upon a Child which has loads of nice stuff that you can get for less. You will also probably want to send birth announcements out let people know your good news, but dont expect gifts as a result. Most people will look at it, and say "oh, how wonderful" and that will be that.
2006-09-13 22:01:23 · answer #2 · answered by sooz 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you don't have a shower, people will bring you a present when the baby is born, but they are unlikely to bring you the really big stuff (strollers, etc) The customary gift after the baby is born is more like an outfit, etc.
If you need to be outfitted with baby stuff, see if freecycle.org is active in your area. If you post your needs, you will probably get a used version of everything you could imagine.
That said, you're about to be a mom, and you will need to work through your people relations problems. In a few years, your child will be starting school and you will need to be equipped to stand up for your child, talk confidently to the teacher or to other kid's parents if there are problems, etc.
The only way to get comfortable with other adults is to muddle through some uncomfortable situations. With practice, it won't be such a big deal anymore. Try to gather the courage to get through a shower if you can. Good luck!
2006-09-13 22:04:59 · answer #3 · answered by I'm_Bored 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
A baby shower would be the best way to get more presents...
When my son was born, allot of people visited me in hospital (even people that I thought wouldn't come) And everyone bought presents then. I never had a baby shower and we got heaps of stuff anyway!
As for birth announcements... just being honest but I don't know if that would work, then again your letting the people know your pregnant, so they can buy you presents when the babys born.
Im not sure about over there, but here in Australia they have second hand shops, and If you go in and talk to the people and let them know that your having trouble they will give you things you need (blankets, cot, etc) and you wont have to pay.
You know...the places that give out food vouchers?
And if your too scared to do this maybe your mom could go in for you......
Good luck and I hope you get everything you need!
2006-09-13 22:01:16 · answer #4 · answered by 0bnsgrl0 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
NO. You can't expect gift without a shower. you may still recieve a few from close friends and relatives but that's it. your best bet is to have the shower but keep it simple. tell your mom and you hubby your feelings and explain to them that they should run interference between you and the guests. attention will be on you but if you keep guest busy with party games and food, that will give you a moment or two to breathe. also make know to guests that the host or hostess will be in charge and that everything will be set to a strict schedule limiting time to overwhelm you. keep it sweet, short and simple. and also let guests know that after the baby is born you would like some time to adjust to being a new mom so they should not come over as soon as the baby comes home and that they should call to make sure it is ok to stop by. that way you can schedule time around your little one's waking hours.
2006-09-13 22:31:41 · answer #5 · answered by Kisha H 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I did not want a shower either. This is my 3rd from a 2ed marriage. My older kids and 8.5 and 10.5 I DON'T HAVE ANY Baby stuff from them left. I did not save stuff because this was not planned. This is my husbands 1st his moms 1st Grand baby my hubby is a only child. His mom has planned a shower I don't have much a choice NOT TO GO. I need the stuff so I'm going to put aside my personal displeasure 4 crowds to let his mom celebrate her grand baby and to get gifts. People may send stuff after but THE BEST way to get a LOT is a baby shower party. People seem to like going to them it won't cost you a friend or relative is supposed to foot the bill and throw the party. I would put aside your personal issues for a few hours to do what needs done. My shower is from 12 to 2 SO for 2 hours i can handle the people i bet you could to.
2006-09-13 22:09:45 · answer #6 · answered by ally'smom 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tough one...I can relate to the "hillbilly" thing. Have the shower; you need the stuff. But maybe consider inviting ONLY your closest friends/relatives. Why put up with those you don't trust and/or don't even consider a friend?
Also, if you're a little financially strapped right now, check out the local thrift stores and garage sales for baby stuff. I got a nice baby outfit at a garage sale myself recently.
Best of luck!
2006-09-13 21:58:37 · answer #7 · answered by tegleha 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
These woman are being rude to say that you CANT throw your own shower ... it's better if someone else can throw it .. but you cant make someone throw you a party know what I mean? Maybe you and your mom can do it together? I just had my shower and it helped me a great deal. I have so little left to buy now. If send people birth announcments and wait for people to come see the baby after its born...then you'll be getting presents late...you need them now. I say, see if your mom can help you throw it.
2006-09-13 22:09:19 · answer #8 · answered by Maria 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
this is true when the baby is born you will still get gifts just for having a baby. I think that is better then a shower in that case as when you hold a shower people feel obligated to buy gifts for your baby. But when you send out birth notice they are more happy to buy something for the baby and they can also be sure the sex of the baby and it makes it easy to choose a gift for a boy or a girl.
2006-09-13 21:56:33 · answer #9 · answered by Mrs Magoo 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You can also register at a baby store, or even Walmarts on the invitations, (whoever has the shower for you) they can put down that you are registered. Walmart does have a baby registration. They will help you make a list of the things you are in need of and the people who are invited to the shower will look on the registry and can pick out and purchase a gift you checked off. I think this is such a great idea.
Lots of luck!!
2006-09-13 22:04:24 · answer #10 · answered by CTMEDS 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋