Should my friend have asked me to provide a holiday to New Zealand?

Question

I explained in an early question that I'd won £5k's worth of holiday vouchers and didn't know whether to pay for my mum to go somewhere as she'd been ignoring me for a month. I was going to go to the Caymans with my son; pay for my mother & brother to go to St Lucia, then pay for my friend to go to Florence and then take a holiday next year by myself.. that would be the £5k spoken for.The Florence holiday is the cheaper one [I'm in the UK] but my friend asked me today if I could pay for me and her to go to New Zealand... instead of Florence.. which would mean there would be no money left on the voucher for me to go away by myself..I feel pulled in so many directions feeling that I have to please everyone and I wish I'd never won it now. I emailed my friend to say that the fairest decion was: take my son to Caymans for £1800 and provide £750 to her, £750 my mum and £750 to my brother to go where they want and donate £1k to charity cos I'm now fed up. Is this a fair decision?

ok.. I have to make my choices by the 31st November 06, but really I have to make my decisions by the end of September because my son and i are going away on the 18th Oct and Iyou need to give the company 3 weeks notice! The reason as well is that you can only redeem the voucher once. I can't therefore book mine and my son's holiday then return home and sort the others out.. you have to book them all at the same time which is the downfall.

I can't save the money as it's a holiday voucher with a well known holiday company. There is no cash as such. What I was going to do after booking the holidays was buy gift experiences like swimming with sharks and flying a plane or flying in a hot air balloon and sell them on ebay and then give the proceeds to charity. You can get these gift experiences from the company I won the holiday vouchers from as well as flights, hotels and holidays.. but there is no cash.

Answer 1

Hi

You certainly sound like someone who deserves to have won this prize!! :-) The main thing is for you to use it in a way that makes you feel good. Giving away some of it to charity is a great idea and acknowledges that this unexpected windfall can benefit others as well as yourself. It is also natural to want to include your family and friends in your good fortune. If you have decided to treat your family and friend to a free holiday, it makes sense to let them have a say in where they go, rather than you simply telling them without them having some input into the destination. However, I think you need to explain to your friend that she is being unreasonable in the choice of New Zealand. The cost of flying to New Zealand from the UK is going to be 700 pounds or more per person depending on what time of year you intend to go. Added to that it takes two days to get to New Zealand and two days to get back!! So this is not somewhere you would go for a week or even two. To come here for less than three to four weeks makes no sense given that it is on the other side of the world. Additionally, you won't do the place justice by not spending that amount of time here. So, the cost of travelling around, finding accommodation, eating, and paying for the experiences plus the cost of getting here is prohibitive and will eat into at least half of your 5,000 pound win. Thats too much and will not allow you to have the time alone on holiday that you want and deserve. Tell your friend that New Zealand is not possible but that you are happy to consider other destinations as long as the cost stays within the original amount you allocated for your holiday with her. If she can't take that with good grace you have to wonder if the word 'friend' is appropriate. The family members don't seem to be a problem and, as for your mother, well family is family is family. Treat her, it could be the start of a whole new and better relationship.

Good luck.

Money, eh??? Problems if you dont have any and problems if you do!!! :-)

Answer 2

Your friend should appreciate the fact that you thought of them in the first place. You wouldnt be selfish for sayin NO because you are the one that won all of the vouchers. It sounds like your friend is kind of using your kindness. Take your vacation by yourself everyone needs to get away one deep sometimes. Have Fun and be Safe!!

Answer 3

Your friend was out of line in asking this of you. If she wanted to go somewhere else and you were agreeable, she should pay the difference. Do not let her make you regret winning this money, I think you are extremely generous in your offerings and she is out of line. I also wonder if maybe you should consider saving some of this money, but I think giving to charity is also a very generous idea.

Answer 4

Well, for me family comes first so id make sure your son is your first priority. Then maybe your mom and brother then maybe you and or your friend. Lemme ask, when does this expire because if you have a couple of months to think about it and talk it over with everyone, id go ahead and try, even though you are getting mad.

Answer 5

What a complete load of old bollocks. I'd say fu*ck the lot of 'em, especially your non-speaking mother, bollocks to charity, and spend the lot on yourself, and stuff everybody else.