racist word or not?

Question

I am a white 40 year old male. My 15 year old daughter said the "N" word by putting the letter "A" at the end instead of an "R", to a friend. She told me everyone says it at school, white and black. I find this word to be very offensive. I told her that it might not be offensive to young people but it surely is to adults and if I hear her saying it again she will be grounded. She states it's not the same thing as the "N" word and my wife agrees. Do you find it offensive like I do? Please state your age and race when answering this question and if you have kids. Thank you.

Answer 1

It is racist! It implies that she has bad intentions towards any African-American.
Remember...the whites are the ones who kept the African-American slaves in bondage...it wasn't vice versa.

Answer 2

I'm a 27 year old Black female and I agree with you - that word, no matter how it's spelled, is offensive. While it's been said that the reason behind the acceptance of the slightly altered version of the N-word is that the more you say it, the less power it has, I find that to be very untrue. Some Black people say it to each other with no consequence, but if a person of any other race (especially a White person) uses the same word, even in the same context, they are immediately looked upon as being racist and risk serious (and sometimes physical) consequences. So because that word still stirs up anger in certain contexts, I think the "we can say it, but you can't" thing is a ridiculous double standard. That's like saying feces floating in the toilet is offensive, but feces wrapped up with a pretty red bow and sitting on a silver platter is okay. No matter the container or the packaging, it's still crap.

The way I figure it, if I don't want anyone outside of my race to use that word, then I'm not going to use it either. If we truly want these kinds of epithets to lose their power, then I think the best thing for us to do is to stop using them altogether.

Answer 3

I think the N word has become more popular as a slang term, African Americans have "reclaimed" the word, turning it from an offensive and oppressive term into an expression of comradery. In that context, I do think it's acceptable if African Americans use the term towards each other. But since I'm assuming your daughter is also white, if I heard her using it, I would be offended and would probably tell her that it is not appropriate to use that term.

Answer 4

Even though the word is offensive, I go with the Lenny Bruce approach which has seemed to work after all these years. When used or overused in a specific context, the word does lose its potency and offensive quality and becomes a parody or a mockery of itself. My gay brothers and sisters have done the same thing with the formerly offensive word "queer" and it seems to have some effectiveness.

Answer 5

I believe if you look at writings before the Civil War when slavery was still legal in many states, that very word, ending in 'a' was in fact used commonly to describe the blacks in many parts of the South.

I guarantee most blacks will find it offensive, even if in some special place, they don't mind.

I am 64, I am Anglo, and I have several kids whom I tried to raise in a non-racist environment. They are all Hispanic minorities, and I find such language intolerable. I don't use it and I would not tolerate them using it.

Answer 6

Hey, I'm a 15 year old white male.

I just wanted to let you know that your daughter is right, everybody does use that word nowadays. Blacks use it meaning "friend/dude/pal/buddy/whatever you wanna call it". But according to today's teenage vocabulary, it's not very offensive to anybody these days.

Also, your daughter should be able to say that because blacks need to stop whining about a little word. We don't whine when they call us crackers, do we? Blacks always make such a major issue out of things so small. They need to get out of their "Whites kept us in slavery. Boohoo!" state of mind. It's time to move on, and stop whining about a little word.

I am not racist by the way.

Answer 7

I think it's racist. I am a 28 year old black female. I don't have children but I do have a sister who is 14 and a brother who is 19 and neither of them would ever use that word in my presence or the presence of their parents. It is offensive and unfortunately television is making our children numb to this and other things such as how woman are perceived and how violence is depicted.
It's up to parents such as yourself to make sure that our society doesn't end up completely morally bankrupt.

Answer 8

Yes, I find the N word offencive. I am a 26 white female with 2 children. I do not like to hear the word.

Answer 9

I'm 34, caucasian, and have three children. I find it very offensive and I don't hesitate to let people around me know if I hear it. I think it is a very demeaning word. My daughter is bi-racial and I am trying very hard to raise her with proper manners and to speak respectfully to others. I think even at a young age, children need to learn how to speak with respect and that word is definitely not respectful.

Answer 10

I am a twenty four year old black female with no children. But I agree that the word is very offensive. I don't even use it myself.

Answer 11

i am 17 , and i think it is extremely offensive either way!
i am hispanic and i never use that word and i don't like it when other people say it. As a young lady i don't think those words are appropriate...it tells alot about a persons vocabulary.