why do people go out and marry just anyone when they join the military??

Question

i noticed that they marry a lot of big woman or unattractive woman.
why??
i was in love with this guy for about a year
he was my first love and he left to korea and forgot about me within a year.
he always told me that he would come back for me and if i would marry him and stuff like that.
its been 7 years and i am just wondering if you think he regrets it.

like if any of you are in the military why do you do this and do you regret not being with the one you left behind?

i did keep in touch
then all of a sudden he stopped writting to me.

Answer 1

i feel for you

well i got married to a guy i had been dating for a year or so

he got orders to go overseas

i stayed married for 20yrs but felt the whole time i was married to him he was looking for greener grass on the other side of the fence

i think the reason he married me was he was afraid to go over alone

and hed get more pay for being married - baq or oha
and sex
he d have sex most of the time he wanted it then id cook, clean, give him kids and be there to take care of his needs

i think some guys really do love the women they marry it all depends on the man

Answer 2

I grew up in the military. I wouldn't join myself, but I'd be ok marrying someone who was. The people I know who married and then joined the military rarely had sucessful marriages. The ones who married other military personel or who married after they joined the military usually had much happier family lives. There is a high divorce rate among military personel. Being a military dependant requires a special type of person -- one who knows that the job comes first, that there will be times your spouse will be away for months, possibly years at a time, one who doesn't mind being on welfare at some point in their lives and always poor afterwards because military pay sucks, one who realizes that they will be moving every two to four years and that that means they'll be changing jobs over and over and never have a real career, that they and their children will perpetually be making and losing friends so they may never be able to develop deep personal relationships, their children will be changing schools a lot (in eighteen years, I moved 13 times growing up. One year, I changed schools 3 times). You'll never have the luxury of having a family doctor and the military owns your medical records. If you do scrape up enough money to buy your own house, until your spouse retires, it'll be more of a vacation spot than a home. Being a military dependant is not a piece of cake, and very few people understand just how much they'll be giving up. The rumor of the military brat -- that animal doesn't exist. Military dependants don't have the option of being spoiled. That's why it's much easier to marry someone who already is accustomed to that life. It's great if you accept all those things because you get to travel and see and do things most other people can only dream of, but it is a huge commitment. Anyone who marries for the "benefits" has really low standards, because military benefits suck, and they get worse evey year.

Probably what happened to you is that when your boyfriend joined the military, he did and saw all sorts of things he'd never imagined before, some of it good and some of it bad. He changed and you didn't or you changed in a different direction from the way he went since you weren't there to share those experiences with him. You became two very different people, and neither of you had control over that. Yes, you were waiting patiently for him, but he changed so much, he no longer could relate with you the way he used to, and he found someone else who he then could relate with better. It's not your fault, but after seven years, you should probably let go of your resentment toward him, too. If it makes you feel better, I'll bet he didn't just "forget" you, and I'll bet he really did feel bad.

Answer 3

I was in the military for over 16 years and I saw a lot of this. For the most part a lot of guys are very involved in their jobs that they don'r really want someone or something that reminds them of home or their past because it becomes a distraction. Many guys also tell their buddies they'll write them when they change duty stations but never do for the same reason as before. Right before Desert Storm a lot of guys got married to the first woman that they could just because they wanted to have someone to correspond with and remind them of home. Most of these last minute marriages failed. As far as regret- if you were very close he still probably thinks about you from time to time but guys in the military try more to just forget and put it all behind them.

Answer 4

I come from a long line of military people in my family, have quite a few friends in the military and I have no idea where you get this notion. I've never seen it happen. If you were really in love with this guy that was stationed in Korea, why didn't you keep in touch? Communication works both ways ya know.

Answer 5

some girls are not very smart when it comes to this situation, and have no idea what they are talking about (the girl who said she comes from a long line of military) they see what they want to see, for someone who hasnt been in the military but has dated a few guys, and had a lot of friends in the military(also lives in a military town), they do have benefits when they get married, and they can live off base, they can have a contract marriage, and some of them just get married b/c they miss thier families and what not, I have noticed most them are not faithful, married/dating, do they regret not going back to their prev relationships that I dont know

Answer 6

Do not even worry about it : because in miltary life an solider must serve his country . Since I am not in that duty right now
best thing to know really well as single person like Toddk57 can
pray for all of those men& women that are on active duty today but marriage do fail some times by cheating on each other

Answer 7

My fiance is a US Marine. Been stationed all over the world.

He stated that guy's (and girls!) get married for a few reasons: love or benefits.

He has a friend who married his high school friend to get the extra pay as she gets the benefits. Once he is out in a few years, they will divorce. They have a mutual agreement. Technically it is fraud if USMC found out this was the motive of the "marriage".

As for my Fiance and I, we are getting married because we love each other and want to be with each other. Getting married a few months before he gets out in 2008. He has been faithful and amazing while serving over sea's. Those who I talk to stationed with him or so all say he brags and won't stop talking about me. after work he get on the computer til he went to bed. He rarely went out. He has always been a good boyfriend to other girls who I knew and always treated girls right. I have no worries of him cheating.

He did have his "fun" is Thailand but him and I were not dating nor in contact at the time. (He is my middle/high school sweetheart but lost contact after graduation do to both of us entering USMC). He is done with that stuff.

Yet, it is sad he said to see a lot of married guys and girl's committing adultery on their spouses with prostitutes or so. A lot of it is the physical they miss and some of it is the emotional aspect of it.

I think in your case, you are better off with out him. You need to let that be the past and you need to focus on your future. Holding on to something like this isn't good for you and need to let go of the fact of it. Maybe he does or maybe he doesn't. The fact is you need to decide what is good for you and not let this issue affect your emotions.

Answer 8

i think its because so they can get the military benifits

Answer 9

the guys cause they are horny and the girls (foreign) to get in to the U.S.