Would you be a g0y?

Question

OK here is the deal.
g0ys are people who dont consider themselves gay because there is a stigma folloing this word, and they define themselves as guys who just like guys and that they follow the bible by not practicing anal sex and by also being married but play with guys at the same time...So, if you were a black person who didnt like this stigma following the black community like stealing,drugs, killing, ghettos etc. would you change your identity to bl0ck instead of black? If you are an American who hates all this nationalism and wars whould you change your nationality into an Am0rican? Just to show to others that you dont belong to these groups or to the impression they give? Instead of fighting to prove that this is not the case? The only thing that u guys will achieve is to get people who are just scared of their sexuality and the gay scene to join you because they are not ready yet. I know I would seek refuge to you when I was young and afraid,but it would only be an illussion.

And yes I expect to hear comments about being hateful, but this is not the case, I just insist on this because I know you will only end up confusing and maybe hurting other people who are simply still scared of the femine gays who might expose them easily...I would like to hear the opinions of people in here in general. I heard what g0ys have to say and what their website has to say.

http://www.g0ys.org check it out for yourselves.

Thats my point exactly hosebunny815!!!
I guess you didnt really understand me..

hosebunny815 my point in this comment is that by being married to a woman and sleep with men is immoral and not biblical!
And you call me immoral and that I give a bad name to gays...How? I critisised the statements above, is my text that difficult to read?

AdamKadmon, sorry to hear about your experience...I hope the sore will go away soon.

See? hosebunny815, didnt even bother to think what the difference is. Which is telling us one thing: g0ys will always be considered gay; especially by the straights and in the end you will create a worse stigma and it will be the gay community that will have to bare with it. Really now, you expect a straight who is ignorant about the LGBT to really consider you as non gays? On the contrary you will receive hate, because of the biblical contradictions,and the gay community will be the one people will blame while you will be standing in the shadows...

Chris boy...Tolerance is a relevant word.
By accepting everything that happens and every group you are not tolerant...you are simply a person who has ignorance and doesnt really care to stand for his ground and values. The "tolarance" you talk about is carrying more what Madonna did and what CK is new in fashion than gay rights.
No I am not tolerant with the KKK...I am not toleranrt with godhatesfags. And I am not tolerant with people who are just hiding, changing their name cowardly just to impress the straights, and give a worse stigma to gays. Dont you see? they just try to tick the boxes of a homophobe....the anal sex, the feminine bahaviour and biblical stuff. The three typical things a typical homophobic will use to accuse. What do I do?Accept it or fight it? And while I fight it, I see some cowards getting on their knees embracing prejudice...and what do I do when I see them betraying me and others? I should say nothing so as to be tolerant? OK...whatever u say...

'You know there are a lot of people who do a lot of things and just because one of them does something wrong does not paint the whole lot as bad. '
Then why cant you get along with the gay stigma? Its not hte whole which is bad.
And your answer is totally irrelevant.
All you do is call the ones that disagree with you haters.

You also miss the whole point here. If someone cheats on their wives, no it doesnt change the image of that group. The problem is, that the group itself on your website says it is OK to do it.
If there was a group that one of their characteristics officialy was to kill black people for example, I would look who actually does it. I would acuse the group because it is something they stand for. And no one told you not to leave your wife. What we tell you is that cheating on your wife and pretending to be straight is wrong.
Do you get this? Do you actually understand this?

'You people want to be accepted in to mainstream society but you want to be able to maintain your own intolerances toward those that are different.'

THATS THE WHOLE POINT HERE!
That we dont consider you any different. You strugle to make yourselves different, but your sexuality is still the same no matter what. You just came up with a different name. You just compare us to homophobics, while we dont hate you or accuse you for your diffence since there isnt any diference; we accuse you because you treat US with prejudice amd give us names and a stigma and just remain invisible. What opinion? You dont have any opinion, you just want to remain silent and hidden. You dont stand for something...what you stand for is not standing for anything. So please stop comparing yourselves to a different culture of gays that we just dont like it and accuse because you cant change it or something. This has nothing to do with a feminine guy who is accused for his behaviour, for example.

OK last addition. What would make it so bad, if you were just masculine gay guys who dont like anal sex, like millions of gays like this out there....And I havent compared you to the KKK...I just used an example of a group shich states a general term and I said I wouldnt look any further to see whether they do it or not. On the contrary it is your community who has compared the KKK with the union of HIV+ men. Stop using my words against me with your technicality, you know very well what I meant.

Answer 1

"Just to show to others that you dont belong to these groups or to the impression they give? Instead of fighting to prove that this is not the case?" that's it right there. Fact is: it's not the identity of "gay" that people don't like; it's the fact that two men or two women can love each other. ALL the same stigmas, (with the POSSIBLE exception of the all-gay-men-are-total-bottom-whores one) are going to follow you eventually. DO you then just come up with a new word and wait it out? The whole idea is stupid. If you don't like the image of "the whole" (that is, gay people), then work to show people that YOU are gay, and that gay doesn't mean what they think it does. Otherwise, YOU are acting to enforce the stereotypes you're trying to fight.

Answer 2

Hello!! :o) I am VERY familiar with the 'g0y' movement. In fact - I've been an [inactive] moderator of the 'g0y' Yahoo group for a few years. [I was made a moderator based on my reputation with a few yahoo groups that I already 'own'] And the reason I was inactive is because I just don't like the bashing and negativity. But I DO understand why some guys would find the 'g0y' idea appealing. At least insofar as the 'intimacy without anal sex' part is concerned. AND the idea of not having to sacrifice your identity as a 'man' in order to be intimate physically with a man. [In other words - not having to 'camp it up' as the stereotype would suggest gay men do] But I don't like the idea [which actually took me by surprise] that it is now[?] OK for a married guy to be sexually intimate with a guy? That just crosses a line that I'm not willing to cross. But that all said... the 'g0y' movement was a direct result [I believe] of the failure of the so-called 'gay community' to draw a line in the sand when it comes to what IS and what is NOT 'appropriate' behavior. And based on many of the responses I read here at Yahoo Answers - that 'line' is still not being 'drawn'. Anyone who embraces the 'anything goes' attitude deserves to be smeared by what 'goes'. [and that includes horrible things like mambla, etc.] The 'gay community' [as I've already said a zillion times before - over the years] HAS to stop being so silent when it comes to those within the so-called 'community' who are tarnishing the reputation OF the 'community'. 'g0y' was a good idea. But it - too - failed to appreciate the lines in the sand insofar as 'appropriate conduct and behavior' are concerned. 'Cheat on your wife - as long as you don't do anal'?! Yeah - great. Craig

Answer 3

You are absolutely right! And to answer the question, no I wouldn't be a gOy. I think it's a new label trying to legitimize being a closet case. They say that they are trying to get away from the negative stereotypes that so called "flamboyant gays" have been portraying, but gOy's represent one of the biggest negative gay stereotypes out there, promiscuity. Not only do they sleep around, but they usually have a "beard" (that's a code word for the wife or girlfriend of a gay man) that has no idea that they are gay (and they're just deluding themselves saying that they are straight) or that they are having sexual relationships outside of their marriage/relationship. These men have absolutely no compassion for the feelings of their women. Cheating is cheating, period. Gay sex is gay sex, period. The only "real" stereotype that they break, is that all gay guys like anal sex. Just because gOys don't have anal sex, doesn't mean they aren't gay. Just because they have girlfriends/wives, doesn't mean they aren't gay. Just because they live their life in the closet, doesn't mean they aren't gay. the gOy is a ridiculous new twist on an old closet mentality.

Answer 4

All homosexuals are gay, whatever kind of sex they do or do not indulge in. We are a large and DIVERSE community. The enemies at the gates want us to fight amongst ourselves, it makes us weaker.
I forgive g0ys and welcome them back into the gay community with open arms.
Technically I could be classed as g0y except I would never marry a woman or cheat on my wife and I don't like anal sex, but it has nothing to do with any religious beliefs/brainwashing.

Hey Chris!
Being tolerant doesn't mean you have to tolerate everything.
I choose not to tolerate child abuse, racism, stupidity, adultery facism, religious fundamentalism. why should we tolerate a damaging sect in our midst. you wouldn't tolerate NAMBLA as part of the gay community, so I don't see why we should tolerate this form of rampant homophobia that says the only good gay guy is an invisible one, which is what g0ys want to be.

Funny how the g0ys refused to give their point of view on this subject

By the way Randy, your perception that there is a gay stereotype is wrong. Gays come in all shapes and forms some even call themselves g0ys. can you be a g0y bear? because to me the bear look looks totally gay. There is no gay stereotype you are reacting to a few camp queens. If you want to be invisible thats up to you, the g0y movement plays into the hands of the bigots and the right wing fundamental religions that say gays should be neither seen nor heard, so its OK to be gay as long as you don't have sex, never tell anyone that you are gay, don't protest for equal rights etc etc. whoever mentioned special rights? you are even using the language of the opressors.

I don't do anal sex, I don't camp it up, I am far from your idea of what the gay stereotype is, but I have never had a problem being accepted by the gay or the str8 community.

Maybe you just have a sucky attitude and people don't like you for that reason. Not accepted for not liking anal sex. What BS, never heard so much rubbish in my life

OMG i just read your last paragraph, you are a homophobe and you hate yourself for being gay. You don't understand that the majority of gay men aren't into anal sex it is just another option in a wide repertoire of things you can do.

Answer 5

I don't consider myself a g0y, but I was on a message board of theirs once. I'm not by any measure a very "masculine" (if we're defining this in the typical macho-American sense anyways) man, yet I was very welcomed by them. I'm also not a Christian or Jew (thus don't follow the Bible), I'm a Hindu. While there was some anti-gay rhetoric from time to time, I got the sense that most (but not all) of the people on the board thought of themselves as gay-g0ys. In essence that they didn't have anal sex (because they're weren't interested in it or didn't enjoy it) but were still guys attracted to guys. It was a bit of a relief to be on a board where it wasn't assumed that just because you are attracted to guys that you are having anal sex with them like on some of the gay boards. At the same time, though, the occasional anti-gay rhetoric and the religiousity of the group overall caused me to leave the board. (so basically the board was full of anti-gay and anti-Bible-believers rhetoric that caused me to leave)

Answer 6

I think there are already cultural/sexual/political/ religious all roled into one varied groups hundreds of them that make for different kinds of Americans probably the most used word today is African American,Native Amercan,and even within these groups there are varieties,likewise many donot believe in what the other stands for.
There are some Heterosexuals who are promiscuous others not so others who wouldnt do their wives anal,or oral or vise versa,still others who wouldnt do any sexual/social/political act.
Yes we humans are a big melting pot of variety.
I can appreciate the G0ys not wanting to hurt someone they care for through the violent anal act.
I can appreciate their desire to follow a religion.
I cannot completly understand the fem part-but hey thats what makes the world go round we are all different.

Answer 7

i wont be g0y becuase:
A. I dont believe in the bible.
B. While I havent yet participated in anal sex, I also have not ruled it out. I also have no problem with others doing that.
C. I am not attracted to overly effeminite gays, but on the other hand, they have the right to be what they want to be.
D. I dont believe g0ys should be marrying and cheating, it goes against their other beliefs. If they dropped this, I would have no problem with them.

Answer 8

No, there is no such thing as g0y. It's a trend and I'm sure it won't be around too long. If you're rubbin your stuff with other guys your gay, like it or not, there's no reason to make up a new word to disassociate yourself with who you really are. And just because there's no actual intercourse doesn't mean it's not cheating on your wife.

Answer 9

i am lost with this whole question
but if you like other men but don't want to any thing with them dosn't that mean you are just bi sexual or you scared of the religon groups live you life they way you want
be true to your self if you want to have sex with women then do so but if you cheat on them they will f you over be true to your self before you comit to
hurt other people and give us glbt a bad name
if you don't like the name gay then don't create and more confusion by adding another segma and that would be idit

Answer 10

I don't get this...

Men that are inlove with other men want to marry woman and cheat on them.....am I the only one who is getting a wrong impressition?

I'm lesbian, and I know I would never be happy married to a man. Its who I am, and I wouldn't know where to start if other lesbians jst wanted to have 'flings' while married. Is that not against your bible?

It might be the path for some people, but I don't agree with it. ^_^