She is a ballerina. She thinks she has an ugly face adn wants plastic surgery. She always complains that no man has ever even touched her, literally, not even her arm or hand.
How can I help her? Guys, maybe she just needs someone to compliment her to not think she's ugly (since no one ever has)
2006-09-13 13:38:48 · 21 answers · asked by yvonne s 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Guys don't generally fall for girls with self-esteem issues. She should try going to therapy sessions. Most ballet companies offer some form of counseling to their dancers (I was a ballerina for a short while). Dancing isn't a very good profession for someone with confidence issues because you are constantly being "graded" on how you look, how skinny you are, how perfect you are. It really messed me up, and, although, at the time, I thought I could never love anything as much as I loved dance, I was under so much constant pressure to be perfect that I didn't realize what a toll it was taking on my emotional and mental well-being. That's why I got out and on with my life. I still miss dancing everyday, the hype and the people, but I am so much happier now (and happily married to a wonderful man!) All you can do is be there for your friend and constantly remind her of what a beautiful person you think she is. Good luck to you and your friend.
2006-09-13 13:52:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anna 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think I've ever been asked out on a date, yet I've been engaged and am living with someone special now.
Lesson is, just because a guy doesn't make a grand show, doesn't mean he;s not interested.
Perhaps her selfconciousness is preventing ehr from being open. Guys are sensitive creatures, they won't ask if they don't think you'll probably say yes.
Find a situation where you can hang around single straight men. Not the easiest thing for anyone beyond college to do. However, think about events at the local bookstore or volunteering. If she's doing stuff she lkes, she'll be more comfortable and more approachable.
Introduce her, drag her along, and all the while tell her she's perfect just as she is and any guy would be a fool not to jump at the chance to date her. Maybe with enough coaxing, she'l be the one doing the asking.
If she's interested in dating, but a little shy, you can make an online profile and screen her repsonses for the best ones .
2006-09-13 20:51:47 · answer #2 · answered by Merelda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yvonne this girl Is she really so hard to look at or is it just a state of mind .perhaps surgery if needed or not might get her a new boost of confidence.
I don't think that she has a problem that cant be fixed , Is she overly shy then perhaps you need to get her into a team environment perhaps such as bowling or tennis or even a bit of ballroom dancing ,volley ball is good also some place she can interact with people on a casual level in order to attract some compliments or just meet more people . 25 and never been held in the arms of a guy that cares for her she must be so depressed and unhappy. I hope that my little bit of suggesting can help her , tell her to put on a nice blouse and go out be a little flirtatious and see what happens,
2006-09-13 20:52:30 · answer #3 · answered by slick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For a person to think that he or she is ugly is subjective, and the opinion cannot be relied upon, because almost everyone has a low opinion of their physical features.
However, some people just didn't get the gifts that others did, and that includes physical beauty. Fear not, there are guys out there that truly don't care about that.
She needs social interraction. SHE needs to ask guys out. She's been waiting on guys all this time, and it hasn't happened yet. Time to step up to the plate.You can't afford to conjecture why no one has asked her out. It might even be that she is so beautiful that guys think she is out of her league. You just don't know.
Impress upon her that she doesnt need anyone else to validate her existence. It is up to your friend to take life on its own terms, and make the best of it. That means go have fun. Laugh at something totally inappropriate. Laughing is the most important of all. Once she learns to laugh, and not to take life so seriously, the rest comes easily.
Tell her that is she needs someone to talk to, email me. shawn_hookings@yahoo.com
I'm a fat guy, and I'm arrogant as hell. But I always have fun, and I don't care if anyone else has fun with me. I laugh at myself all the time.
Good luck
2006-09-13 20:56:13 · answer #4 · answered by shawn_hookings 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to have more self-confidence. Due to the fact that she's a ballerina, she is probably very slim and doesn't have large boobs or anything, similar to a swimmer's build. I'm guessing she thinks she needs to be a Barbie doll type of girl to be beautiful....NOT TRUE. Set her up on a date with a guy who likes her and watch the sparks fly.
Another possibility is that she is a gorgeous woman but is so beautiful that guys are intimidated by her and never approach her, thinking "she's so hot she must already have a boyfriend."
2006-09-13 20:41:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's wonderful that you wish to help her. I cannot answer definitively but it could be that her self-image is preventing her from meeting someone or someone approaching her.
Please help her to reconsider the plastic surgery as it can be more risky than it's worth and I wouldn't be surprised if she is probably more attractive than she thinks.
I know of many beautiful young women (even Christians) who doubt their beauty or think they're overweight when they're not at all. They don't necessarily accept compliments given with full trust and acceptance.
I too had trouble accepting myself and my looks; partly because some people insulted the way I looked (sometimes indirectly) but I've come to the point where I know and accept how I really am.
I'm not the most handsome guy in the world but I am good looking (I say this without conceit).
I hope she will learn to accept herself. What you can do to help is perhaps help her meet people who will accept her as she is (perhaps quietly let them know her struggle so they can know to bless her with sincere compliments and admiration - not just guys but girls who will let her know that she is someone nice, special, who has attractive qualities).
All the best to her and to you!
2006-09-13 20:56:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you can help her. She needs to help herself. First, she needs to develop as a woman, not just a ballerina. And she needs to get over the notion that if she has plastic surgery, then all will be well. It won't. I know some people that are far from pretty but have such great personalities and wonderful character that people are drawn to them. Hopefully she will get some help.
2006-09-13 20:42:04 · answer #7 · answered by phoenixheat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's a ballerina & 25 & never had a date, it may be because she's very focused on her career and has not considered taking time out to date. Happens all the time.
2006-09-13 20:47:46 · answer #8 · answered by Bluealt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sure sounds like she could use a compliment or two or six. It's sight-unseen, but tell her she looks great. No matter what she looks like, some couple dozen guys out there like the way she looks.
You could help her by getting her a boyfriend....
2006-09-13 20:41:50 · answer #9 · answered by null_the_living_darkness 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a BPD to me. Send her to a male dentist, and take her to the mall and get one of those oriental massages they have everywhere. Then see what she says in a month or two. If she still says no male touched her, hit her up with the dentist question...
2006-09-13 21:00:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋