My wife and I have been seperated for 3 months. We both still have some feelings, although not all of them are good.
Would joint counseling help? Or, should I just hang it up.
We have a 16 year old son.
2006-09-13 13:23:29 · 21 answers · asked by Chris L 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If u both have feelings for each other, I believe it can still be fixed, provided u both recognize what the issues were that led to your separation and work hard to not repeat the same mistakes again. Remember, it takes 2 to make it work and if u keep doing the same thing over and over again like u have done in the past, u will end up getting the same results.
Try everything...even counseling.
2006-09-13 13:32:54 · answer #1 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Definitely don't give up. If u both still have mutual feelings for each other and care enough to salvage the marriage then go ahead n do whatever u have to do. Go for counselling, go n have a holiday together in some remote places n re-discover the love u had for each other when u first met, or just find out the root of problems u had (tht triggered the separation in the first place) n resolve tht. Sometimes a simple problem can become worst when u don't talk enuf bout it n let it accumulate to become one giant of a mess..So probably communicate more.
Its tough to go thru a divorce esp with a teenage son involved so just do whatever u have to do to make it right
In the end..if all fails thn a divorce could be the only option for both of u to achieve happiness..but put tht in the last option ya.
I wish u well n hope all goes fine :)
2006-09-13 13:53:54 · answer #2 · answered by maria 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you both think that there are some good feelings there that can be saved, then counseling would be a great idea. Maybe it could help you sort through the bad feelings and make them good. And if you can't make it all good, then move on. Even if you do have a son. I heard a thought once that goes something like, "it's better for a child to be from a dysfunctional family than to be part of a dysfunctional family"
Divorce may be hard on your son, but him seeing the two of not happy and fighting will be even harder.
Good Luck!!
2006-09-13 13:28:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A marriage can always be restored. Just because your son is almost an adult and out of the picture doesn't mean that the marriage is over. Just face the reality that you can't get back the relationship you once had, but you can have a great and even better marriage than before! Marriage was meant to be forever. You guys need to do for each other not just for yourselves. Good luck and I hope you guys make it! Love is never the issue. It's learning how to do life together that is!
2006-09-13 13:31:46 · answer #4 · answered by Kingdom_Queen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chris, honey, dont ever give up on your marriage until you feel it is really over! I dont know how long you have been married, but im assumimg a good long time! I have to say im not married yet, but engaged. We have been living together for a year and together longer! At times life seems like its so unbarable that you just wana leave everything, but you cant! You two are commited to each other, and you have a child together! The only good reason your wife may have to leave you is if you cheated on her or your abusive, but im hoping its not either for your sons sake! You do know your not only putting stress on each other, but you could be greatly affecting your son. Marriage is a commitment both of you chose to make, if you can chose to get married then you can sure as h*** fix your marriage before it is to late! HAve you tried to talk to her, fix things with her? You have to make the first step in fixing your relationship! If you love her very much wouldnt you want to fix your lives together? For the sake of you, your wife, and your 16 year old son? Sorry im leaving you so many questions, but im trying to make you think about what you want in your life! I want to help I have so many older friends that have gotten a divorce and they regret it, but i also have those that it was the best choice in the situation. Although you also gotta think of your son, this hurts kids alot and it affects their life greatly now and in the future! MArriage counseling may help but maybe you should try to work it out yourselves, if you cant then try marriage counseling, and if that dont work im sorry to say maybe its not going to work! I hope that you can work everything out with your marriage! You may not really care what i have to say since i am younger, but please try! If you do wana talk more we can! Good Luck with everything!
2006-09-13 13:48:50 · answer #5 · answered by country_cowgirl2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Joint counseling will help you communicate with each other and may help you learn how to understand each other. The counseling will help you sort out feeling and how to deal with them. This might sound confusing but counseling will help either of the outcomes you mentioned. If both parties want to get back together counseling will help you to communicate more productively and compassionately with each other, resolve unsettling problems; it will also help establish boundaries and resolve potiental problems that may arise with seperation or divorce. Counseling allows people to air, vent, and discover what they are feeling and why with out blame to either party. The important thing is going to a counselor both parties trust and feel comfortable with.
2006-09-13 13:37:19 · answer #6 · answered by newrabbit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Counseling would be the best thing for the both of you, that way you can air out your feelings, to see which way your heads are at. It is worth a try, and I think it is admiral of you to step up, to see if your marriage is worth fixing. I think once you feel, that you have tried, and gave it all you could, Then that is all you could do. And as far as your Son is concern, it is better for your son, to be out of a unhappy home, then to be still living in a unhappy home. I wish you all the best.
2006-09-13 13:32:51 · answer #7 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If both parties are open minded to go to counseling, it would help. Maybe in not saving your marriage, but in helping each of you cope with whatever went wrong.
I would perhaps include the 16 year old in one of the sessions to help him understand also. The counselor will decide which one.
2006-09-13 13:28:04 · answer #8 · answered by J j 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are both willing to try to work it out, try counseling but I suggest a night out away from everyone, nice romantic dinner, something to just set the mood and see if those old flames rekindle. Good Luck to you.
2006-09-13 14:12:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to counseling for you. If you want to fix the relationship making yourself stronger will only help. Your counselor will then help you find ways to see if she would like to work on the marriage as well.
2006-09-13 13:30:47 · answer #10 · answered by booktender 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋