One thing about divorce that scares me to craziness is that I don't want to be alone the rest of my life. I have three kids and I don't see anyone ever being ok with dating a women with so many obligations. :( I fee like I am attractive (110lbs, super long hair, nice personality, active in outdoor stuff, etc) but that doesn't seem to help me feel any better. Do men really care all that much????
2006-09-13 13:06:39 · 52 answers · asked by RainaDeLaSol 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thank you all so very very much for your answers. I had tears welling up in my eyes....thank you. I'm not divorced yet but it is likely it will happen. I am so afraid. But this does help....it's such a lonely process I think.
2006-09-13 16:01:02 · update #1
Some would and some wouldn't.
The right man for you would be honoured to marry you and your 3 kids.
Don't be putting yourself down. There is only one you in the whole wide world and you have 3 children. It is a package deal.
Unless you 3 are impossible terrors and then I would suggest taking a parenting class to get them under control.
Be yourself and let him find you. The best is yet to come.
God Bless You, ;-)
2006-09-13 13:41:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don’t know if you will get to read this response, being as though it is so far down the list, but I will have a go at answering you anyway…
I married into a relationship where there were four kids involved….
Two were in their teens, and the other two were slightly younger.
My situation was slightly different, in that there wasn’t a ‘divorce’ involved.
I had been friends of the family for many years, and the situation was that the husband/father died !
We are still married after 13 years, and the relationship continues to be strong!!!
Do men really care all that much that you are divorced and have three kids ?
May I just say that if someone loves you enough, the fact that you have the kids, shouldn’t be a concern.
What your main concern should be however, is whether or not the man who falls in love with you is going to be a good ‘father figure’ for the children.
Your kids should always remain a ‘top priority’ for you, and you need to make sure that they are not going to be harmed by the relationship.
There is life after divorce… kids or no kids !!!
2006-09-13 13:22:36 · answer #2 · answered by I_C_Y_U_R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many men would marry a women with children, but you really have to be so careful. Some men do not treat other men's children good. So the main thing you need to do, when looking for someone else is pay close attention to how a new man interacts with your precious children. Just continue to date men and do not let them live with you until you are 100% sure that is is going to be ok. I hope all goes great for you. This the main reason why divorce is so cruel. The children suffer as much as you do. Protect them always.
2006-09-13 14:01:47 · answer #3 · answered by Norskeyenta 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well when I met my now husband of 17 years my children were 3 and 5 years old, he did not have any children and I could not have any more children. I was up front with him about this as soon as I saw that things were getting serious and I gave him the time he needed to decide what he wanted to do.
Like I said that was 17 years ago and not only did he help me raise my children but 4 years ago we took in 2 more children that needed a home and we are raising them. A child does not have to be your flesh and blood to love and care for them and there are lots of good men out there. I know a lot of men that are raising children that are not biologically theirs.
I hope this helps, good luck and stay strong.
2006-09-13 13:19:36 · answer #4 · answered by Joy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My mom just remarried. She had been divorced five years, and dating her now husband the last four. I am the oldest of four. Granted...I am 27, my brothers are 22,20, and 9, yep...9. I and two oldest boys are out of the house, but she still has the younest, obviously, but that didn't matter. He has 4 kids of his own the youngest being 18. He is wonderful.
Be patient!! How long have you been divorced? There are lots of men out there who love kids and wouldn't hesitate a moment to date a mom. They are a little hard to come by, but they are out there. Just a little word of advice. Don't bring every guy home to meet your kids right away. Don't be afraid to tell him you have kids. He needs to know, if that scares him you will know right away. But you need to get to know a guy a little before he meets your kids. It's better to wait a while than to put your kids through something bad.
I don't think you will have a hard time finding someone else, you just have to be a little patient. But when you find him, it will be the greatest thing ever!!
Good Luck!!
2006-09-13 13:21:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hun im not only divorced with 3 kids, but one of my kids is chronically/terminally ill and deaf.. so thats even more baggage for a man to have to deal with.. but since ive been divorced 10 years now.. ive had 4 marriage proposals.. (unfortunately 3 of them i was still suffering from scars from my first marriage, to scared to actually go to the alter..) and now im married to a wonderful man and we've been together 4 years next month.. so to answer ur question.. Yes theres plenty of men out there, that love kids.. and have no problem dating a woman with kids, and are ready to step up to the plate to be a step dad.. So dont u be afraid at all.. just be picky of who u choose next time around , dont settle for anything less then what u want in a husband and father figure for ur kids.. GOOD LUCK..
2006-09-13 13:18:53 · answer #6 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it comes down to meeting the right person. I know a guy who had 4 kids and married a woman with 4 kids so it DOES happen.
I do think that it would be extremely difficult, however, to find that right person. A lot of people want to marry other people that don't have any kids yet -- so that's a toughie! Good luck!
2006-09-13 14:05:27 · answer #7 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no my wife wont let me, serious she wont, mind you i did marry her when she had two kids now she has three lol
I am very seious, my mom had three kids and met and married my dad, then i was born, i met my wife and she had two kids. lots of people do it. and we do care I am a dam good dad to my step kids and their kids now call me grandad i take them out to soccer matches etc and life is great I have been their dad now for almost 30 years. the problem you may have is finding the time to date, but once you get out a bit you will meet a genuine guy, there are plenty and hey life can be great honest I hope you feel better from my experience, believe me its true. I met my wife i did not know she had kids but when i did, I never thought any less of her, it was her i was dating, the kids were a bonus not a bother, if any guy finds his new girl has kids and dumps her then he is a jerk and its his loss.
plenty of guys have kids but as they dont live with them its not the same, just live and if a guy find you attractive tell him you have kids if he says ok or great etc you have a good guy.
2006-09-13 13:13:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some men love kids and they don't mind if the woman has kids. Others are turned off by that.
If you'd like to date and find a husband then go for it. Seek out for the right guy who would love to have 3 step children and would be a loving father and husband. Don't give up.
2006-09-13 13:09:28 · answer #9 · answered by sweetdollツ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, some men really dont care about how many kids you have. I have four kids and (a pair of twins) I work very hard. You should only really worry about yourself and your beautiful children, they should be all that really matter to you. If you say that you have a good personality than the MAN should not have to worry about your 3 kids. I say MAN cause only a real MAN will care! Good Luck!
2006-09-13 13:59:13 · answer #10 · answered by Jennifer F 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋